


The Alternate

by Anifan1



Category: Animorphs (TV), Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: AU, AU post book 6, Basketball, Brothers, Controllers, Familial Love, Family, Gen, Infestation, Involuntary infestation, Peace Movement, Rehabilitation, Siblings, Therapy, Trauma, Trust, yeerk peace movement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:21:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 58,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26057887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anifan1/pseuds/Anifan1
Summary: After Temrash gets promoted to infest the governor, Tom receives a Yeerk from the Peace Movement. Can he trust her? Rated for references to attempted suicide.
Comments: 84
Kudos: 42





	1. Chapter 1

My name is Tom.

When I first got infested, it was pretty much the only thing that still belonged to me.

Well, that's what I told myself.

Not that it mattered, at least as far as what the Yeerk inside my head called me. Mostly, it was just "human".

Granted, I rarely called him by his name, which was Temrash 252 of the Sulp Niar pool.

I called him a lot less polite things.

Given that he stole my body and my life, I figured I had this small right.

If you've never been infested by a cruel Yeerk like Temrash, thank your lucky stars. Or God, if you believe in Him. I still do, anyway.

Yeerks come from another planet and are parasites by nature. Not like ticks or leeches. They don't make you sick. At least, they say they don't. Who knows what we'll find out ten years from now, if they're still on the planet. Maybe, they do cause permanent damage to your body.

Speaking from personal experience, they sure can cause damage to your mind.

In their natural form, they're basically harmless. They're even helpless. I've seen them, swimming around in the Yeerk Pool. They look like oversized grey green slugs. Hardly pretty, and definitely something you'd want to wipe away from your shoe if you accidentally stepped on one.

So, if you saw them as they are, you'd probably think, oh, no big deal.

Except, they don't just live in a pool. They want hosts, which are basically any intelligent beings. On their home planet, the most complex life form was the Gedd, which kind of resemble our monkeys. They used those as hosts. They still do.

Somehow, they got off their home planet and started invading others. Like the Hork-Bajir, who are these bladed beasts, even though they were a peaceful race before they were enslaved. The blades were just what they used to cut and harvest tree bark. Not anymore.

Then, the Taxxons. Taxxons look like oversized centipedes, or maybe millipedes. Totally gross creatures. They joined up with the Yeerks, because the Taxxons suffer from endless hunger, and the Yeerks promised them meat in exchange for their bodies. Of course, given that a Yeerk dulls the senses when they're in a host body, the Taxxons might have signed up just for that.

Now, the Yeerks are after the humans. We're not as dangerous as the Hork-Bajir, or our bodies aren't, but there are billions of us, and our bodies aren't horrible. So, we're their latest target. Of course, since there are so many of us, we'd blow them up into space if they tried to attack, so they're doing it secretly. They have this organization called The Sharing, which sounds like a co-ed Boy Scout group or something innocuous. It's for all ages and they do a lot of fun trips and volunteer work. Perfect for kids wanting to earn brownie points for college, or adults wanting to make connections or just friends.

Little do they know that once you become a "full member" of The Sharing, you're saying yes to getting infested by a Yeerk. You can kiss your freedom goodbye.

Well, except for a couple of hours every three days, when the Yeerk has to feed. They leave their host to swim in the Yeerk pool for about two hours, soaking up these Kandrona rays that are a replica of their home planet's sun. If they don't do this, they'll starve.

Voluntary hosts, people who figured that being a slave to a parasitic alien didn't sound so bad, or maybe figured that there was no getting out alive without a Yeerk in their head, wait in a nice area while their Yeerk feeds. They watch TV and eat snacks.

Involuntary hosts, like me, get dragged to a cage, where they're crammed in with other involuntary hosts. By Hork-Bajir Controller guards.

That's where I was right now. Temrash 252 of the Sulp Niar pool had been promoted, not just to 114, but to become the Yeerk to infest our governor. Who was planning to run for president. If everything went off without a hitch, our country could be the first one to have an alien as an elected president.

As for me? I would be given to another Yeerk.

Sure, I'd thought for a whole five seconds that Temrash's promotion meant I'd be freed. He'd laughed at me, told me I'd just be given to another Yeerk.

(Your only escape, human, is death,) he'd told me. Laughing.

I'd been trying to make that come sooner, rather than later, practically since I'd been infested by Temrash.

Maybe it sounds morbid, but you try living without even being able to blink on your own for days on end. Your only small slice of freedom being confined to a cage, so small you can hardly move.

The Andalite Bandits attacked, once, but they barely made it out alive. As for the involuntary hosts like me? Ha.

They didn't come back. Oh, they tried to fight in other ways, but they haven't deigned to return to try to free people like me.

We were on our own.

Anyway, several times, I tried to breathe in the water from the pool when the guards held me down. It usually took Temrash the better part of a minute to connect to my head and seize control, since I never stood still to make it easy for him. I thought that if I tried to breathe in enough water and thrash around enough, I'd be dead before he could connect enough to my brain to alert the guards that he was in control.

The first time I'd tried, I'd almost chickened out. The second time, I'd actually started to see lights above my eyes, but he managed to get into the control center of my brain just in time.

Then, the slug got smart. He told the guards to hold my head sideways, preventing most of my face from entering the water. Even if I tried thrashing, he'd get in before I could do much in the way of breathing in the pool sludge.

Since the same pool guards who dragged me to the cages probably weren't the ones who did the infestation, he'd give them the instructions right before feeding. They always remembered. They had to, because he outranked them.

I promised myself that if he ever forgot, I would try again and make it count.

They opened the cage door and dragged me to the pier. I was pretty sure it hadn't been a full two hours, but this was a new Yeerk, and it must have started feeding earlier. Maybe, been waiting for me for days in the pool sludge.

A glimmer of hope dawned on me when the guard pushed my entire head under the water, instead of holding it to the side. I lost a few seconds in this realization before I opened my mouth and tried to swallow and breathe in as much pool water as possible.

Maybe, if I hadn't been so stupid, those few seconds would have been the difference between life and death.

Looking back, though, those few seconds were what changed my life, for the better.

Even through my oxygen deprived state, I felt the sharp pinch of the new Yeerk entering my ear, followed by numbness as the Yeerk shot out some anesthesia, or whatever it was they used. Then, pressure. I tried to fight, but I knew that unless I managed to die within the next thirty or so seconds, it was pointless.

Then, the all too familiar but no less terrifying loss of control.

I could feel the new Yeerk's alarm as it worked to still my body. Guess its old host hadn't made a habit of trying to kill itself. All the same, I was vaguely aware of the guard's Hork-Bajir claw releasing my head. My new captor immediately lifted me from the pool, spat out a gallon of water, and took several deep breaths and coughed just as many times before standing up and walking out.

Mission Suicide: official failure.

Again.

It was no less depressing than it was expected.

The Yeerk cleared my throat several more times as it made its way up the stairs, away from the screams. Once it was breathing more or less regularly, I felt it touch my mind, and I winced. I tried to pull away, even though I knew from experience that was futile.

To my surprise, the Yeerk withdrew.

(It's okay,) the Yeerk spoke, its voice sounding, oddly enough, gentle. (I won't hurt you. What's your name?)

I didn't want to answer, but I also didn't want this Yeerk searching through my memories. Well, I knew that it would do so sooner or later, but maybe, I could put it off.

I vaguely wondered if I was its first human. I had been Temrash's. Not that he didn't know how to hurt me.

They trained Yeerks in the art of hurting their hosts, I'd bet.

(Tom,) I answered, finally.

(Tom,) she repeated, quietly. Almost tentatively. (Thank you.)

She walked the rest of the way out of the Yeerk Pool, leaving the screams far behind. I remained silent-or, not addressing her, anyway-like a good little broken host.

(Tom?) she asked, once we were within the regular mall.

(Yes?) I answered, my mental voice probably sounding shaky.

(I...) She paused for a second, then plunged forward. (I need to open your memory, just for a minute or so. I won't do a full memory search, but I need to learn who you are and where you live.) She paused, again (Is that okay?)

I didn't have much of a choice, really. At least, this Yeerk seemed aware that searching my mind-however briefly-would be awful for me.

(If you have to,) I sighed, because, really, I couldn't say no.

A flash of images went through my mind. It was like I was watching everything on TV. I saw my first infestation, only for the thousandth time. Before I could react, the "channel" changed to when I'd totally failed at trying to warn Jake not to join The Sharing when he and his friends showed up at the barbecue. Then, me being freed from my cage as the Andalites invaded the Yeerk Pool. More memories, recent, of me having given up, sobbing in my mind. Temrash's latest attempt to get Jake to join The Sharing, telling him that they could spend more time together. Me begging him to leave Jake alone, with the promise that I'd never bother him again. Temrash learning of his promotion, and his celebrations that followed-all at my expense.

Like I said. These were all flashes. So quick that I had barely recognized them for what they were before the Yeerk had moved on to something else. Really, I could barely mentally flinch at one memory before another took its place.

Then, I shrank back in my mind, trying to hold back mental tears.

The images stopped. The Yeerk must have cut them off. Even though it couldn't possible have had all the information it needed to impersonate me.

Then, the Yeerk spoke.

(Oh, honey,) she murmured, gently. (I'm so sorry you had to go through that.)

I would have blinked in surprise had I been in control. Her voice-I could now tell that the Yeerk was female, or considered itself that way, since Yeerks don't have genders the way most species do-was gentle. More than that, it felt sincere. Not that I was an expert on Yeerks, but I could believe that this one meant what she said.

Then, reality hit me.

This was all just a trap. Or, a way to lure me in, make her think she cared.

I tried to back away from her, to hide in a corner of my mind. Pointless. My entire mind, my entire being, belonged to this new Yeerk. The only power I had was to think what I wanted, and really, she could easily take that away by subjecting me to memory torture.

She sighed. (No. I would never do that. I promise, Tom, I won't be anything like your former Yeerk. I want to help you.)

(Help me?) I echoed, baffled.

(Yes. To heal, honey,) she explained, still speaking gently.

But, it was more than that. It felt, just then, like she was an adult, and I was a child.

A scared child.

(Why?) I asked, quietly.

Another sigh. I felt her reach out towards me, but withdraw as I flinched away from her. She walked several steps towards the mall exit before speaking again.

(Tom, not all of us like seeing our hosts suffer. Many of us do not want to take unwilling hosts at all. We would rather live inside the mind of someone who wants us there, and share control with them. We want to befriend our hosts, not harm them,) she explained.

It took me a minute to process this. I knew that The Sharing basically existed to get voluntary hosts, but I had always assumed this was because a host who didn't scream or fight made it easier for Yeerks to serve the empire. Not unlike trying to do your work without a screaming kid in the background.

But Yeerks who wanted to be friends with their hosts? That seemed laughable. Yeerks saw hosts as meat. Temrash had told me this often enough. Even if you were voluntary and weren't tortured, you were hardly on the same level as your Yeerk.

(I don't...I can't believe you,) I finally told her, my voice bitter.

She sighed, then did something that seemed almost like a nod. (No,) she allowed. (I suppose that based on your experience, you wouldn't.)

We were out of the mall, now. The day was warm, but not overly hot. I was aware of the Yeerk walking my body back to my car. Well, technically, it had been my mom's car, but was now designated the family car ever since I'd gotten my license. Sure, I was sixteen, but Dad didn't want to buy me a car for at least another year. He thought I should get as much practice as I could with Mom's old one before buying a new/newer one for my use. I hadn't minded, really. Temrash had. Given how much time "I" had been spending doing volunteer work at The Sharing, and Temrash's not so subtle hints, I got the feeling that he was wearing Dad down, that my own car might come sooner than later.

As the new Yeerk moved my body, it occurred to me that I could feel my senses as acutely as when there was no Yeerk in my head. Oh, I was still powerless, but this Yeerk hadn't muted my senses.

(It's called loose control,) she explained, gently.

I had to snort at that description. How Yeerkish.

She laughed a little in response. (Yes, very Yeerkish,) she agreed, pleasantly. (But...it's better, isn't it?)

(Yeah,) I admitted. (But I'm still powerless.)

The Yeerk sighed, then started my car. Instead of driving in the direction of my house...well, I wasn't privy to her thoughts. For all I knew, we were headed to another state. Temrash had filled up the tank the other day, and I had a handful of 20's in my pocket from Mom.

At first, she just drove, but after a few lights, she spoke up.

(I should have told you my name earlier, honey. It's Liliss 325 of the Sulp Niar Pool.) After a pause, she added, (Of course, just Liliss is fine. My last host called me Lily.)

Once again, I didn't know how to respond. If this was true, her former host must have liked her, at least enough to give her a semi decent nickname.

Assuming that she liked lilies, anyway.

(She did. They were among her favorite flowers,) the Yeerk—Liliss—affirmed.

(So...I was a promotion?) I asked, curious in spite of myself.

Liliss paused, just for a few seconds. (More of a linear move.) After another pause, she added, almost reflectively, (Although, I suppose, the empire would consider a teenage male to be an improvement over an elderly woman.)

I could see this. With the exception of babies, no age seemed to be off limits to the empire. Still. A teenage boy probably ranked higher than an old, or older, woman.

(Then, she got reassigned? To another Yeerk?) I confirmed.

That was, I knew, how it worked.

Liliss sighed. (They murdered her. Because she went blind. I wasn't even able to say goodbye to her.)

I could feel Liliss' pain, which meant she was either telling the truth or a really good liar. Temrash could keep his thoughts from me, but his emotions were as clear to me as my thoughts were to him.

If that was true, maybe the rest of it was.

Maybe, she wanted to help me. Or, at least, not hurt me any more than I was already.

Maybe.

Anyway, the idea that the empire would kill off a human just for going blind didn't surprise me. Liliss might have been shocked, or at least upset, but, really, Visser Three killed hosts for far less.

Liliss turned the car onto a side road, and then parked near a walking trail. I had run laps on it, back when I was on the team and could still use my body. Good exercise during the weekend. It was a seven mile circle, but my starting point was a ten minute walk (or, more likely for me, a three minute jog) from my house. Safe enough, especially during the day, especially for a six foot tall teenager like myself.

It was a part of my past. When I was free. I wished I could run again. Without being controlled by a Yeerk, of course. I could feel it, already. The sweat down my face and my back. The feel of my long legs moving. My heart beating rapidly as it tried to keep up. The rush of endorphins at pushing my body to its limit.

Not after Temrash took over. He wasn't into running.

(Let's take a walk, honey,) Liliss murmured, as she got out of the car and locked it.

Then, suddenly, I could move my body.


	2. Chapter 2

(You're kidding,) I told her, flatly, not daring to move.

I felt her...nudge...at my mind. Having never experienced something like that before, that's the only way I could describe it. Like my Yeerk was giving me a gentle prod, without hurting me. Not forcing me, because she'd given up control. Just...a mental kind of encouragement.

I remained motionless.

(Tom. It's all right. I won't hurt you. I promise,) she urged, softly.

Somehow, I believed that, at least at that moment, Liliss meant it.

She wanted me to move on my own.

At first, I almost fell down. Even though I'd been in control less than an hour ago, it had just been in a cage, and I sure as hell wouldn't walk on my own to and from the cages. I'd given up, but I wasn't going to put in that kind of effort to make things easier for the pool guards.

Except, now, I felt out of practice. Worse, my body suddenly didn't feel like mine. I felt perplexed, almost scared. I knew I had given up, was broken down, but I never wanted my body to betray me like this! Not when my Yeerk was actually using it! I felt Liliss took back control, and I was sure her little experiment was over, but after she steadied my body, she let go once more.

(I'm sorry,) she apologized. (I should have given you a warning. I mean, like a countdown, to prepare you.)

(Was that what it was?) I wondered, my feet still firmly planted on the ground.

(Yes. Especially when a host isn't used to being allowed control by their Yeerk,) Liliss explained, softly.

(I...I don't know if I can,) I admitted.

It was, after all, nothing that she didn't already know.

(You can, honey,) Liliss encouraged.

(If I can't?) I asked. (If I'm still standing here in five minutes?)

(I'll wait as long as you need to,) she promised. (Take your time.) After a pause, she added, (It might help to take a deep breath. To steady yourself.)

Since there was no reason not to, I followed her advice. Okay. Deep breaths were still within my ability range.

Now, I just needed to make my feet obey me.

Even as I stood there, I became aware of all of the ways I was already using my body again. I was breathing on my own. I was choosing where to focus my eyes. I was even moving my hands-kind of.

Reassured, I took another deep breath. Then, cautiously, I put one foot in front of the other. And again. Okay. I was walking. Sure, my movements felt strange at first. Not that I should have been surprised. You can't move much in a cage, and the guards had essentially dragged me to and from them since I had been infested.

Still. I was walking. Moving my legs. One in front of the other. I stared at my feet, almost mesmerized. I was the one moving them.

(Good job, honey,) Liliss praised me.

I didn't answer, except to wonder if she'd choose to take control now, when I'd just gotten a small part of my body to work.

(I won't,) she promised.

Momentarily convinced, I kept walking, kept looking at my feet. Even though I wanted to run, I wasn't sure that would be a good idea, with my eyes focused on my feet. No. One thing at a time. I was glad that no one seemed to be nearby. Of course, that also meant that if I tried to fight, to shout a warning about the invasion, no one would hear. Provided that the Yeerk didn't grab control, first.

She'd probably punish me, too. Even if it might not be as bad as what Temrash would have done.

Had done.

I finally got the hang of walking again on my own after about twenty feet. Enough to move my eyes from the ground to the world around me. If I kept on like that, I'd give myself a backache. Not that I'd feel much of it, because I was sure that Liliss would take full control before long, but if she kept up this loose control, then I'd be aware of every part of my body, even as I sat motionless in my mind. Anyway, better to look ahead than at the ground.

Another minute, and then I realized how the rest of my body was rigid, motionless, because my whole attention was on walking. I tried moving my arms a little, and they worked, but it was more effort to do both at once.

(Tom, honey. Try to take it slowly,) Liliss spoke up.

At first, I flinched, but I realized that my new Yeerk was just chiding me, probably, but not reprimanding me. Not threatening me with "host discipline" if I disobeyed her.

At least, that's what it felt like. I could detect her emotions as well as my own, and they were a mix of concern and pride. Not anger, or contempt, or any of the ones from Temrash I'd been so used to.

Still, like a good little broken host, I apologized.

(Sorry.)

(You have nothing to be sorry for,) Liliss reassured me. (Nothing at all, Tom.)

(Okay.)

I kept walking, looking straight ahead. It seemed to take all of my focus.

(It must have been months since you did this on your own,) Liliss observed.

(Yeah. Over six months,) I recalled, not without some bitterness.

(Yes. Even if you had been voluntary, that would have been much too long to be without control outside of your Yeerk feeding, Tom,) Liliss agreed, quietly. (You may not believe me, but I would say that you are doing well.)

It had been six months and five days, to be exact. Just like Temrash had predicted, I had broken completely at six months. The average for involuntary hosts.

Funny. I hadn't considered how this would translate to using my body. Or, hadn't wanted to. Granted, I hadn't believed that I would ever be freed, so what had been the point? I was destined to be a host until I died. Either at the hands of the empire, or the Andalite Bandits.

Anyway, I'd be fooling myself if I thought I was anything close to free, now. Sure, Liliss wasn't replaying my worst memories, and I was currently in control, but she was still there, wasn't she? She could take over at any time, and never give me control again.

I felt a lump in the back of my throat, and forced myself to swallow it. I wasn't going risk crying in public. I wasn't four.

(I want you to have control, Tom,) Liliss spoke up. (It's your body. I need to be here, because I can't free you without getting both of us killed. But, that doesn't mean you will be my slave.)

Lots of thoughts went through my head, but nothing concrete.

In the end, I didn't say anything.

After about five more minutes of walking, I felt ready to collapse. It wasn't so much that my body tired, but more like my brain. I just wanted to curl up in a corner and sleep.

Liliss knew this, of course.

(Tom? Would you like me to take control?) she asked me, softly. (Just for a little while. You can rest. You must be exhausted.)

(I-) I began.

No. I didn't. Not really. I'd rather fight this exhaustion, even curl up in the middle of the road, than give back control.

At least, I thought I would.

I was so tired. Really, as the seconds passed, I could hardly think straight. What would be worse? Tell Liliss to take control, or fight her and make a complete idiot out of myself?

Face it. Either way, she'd have the upper hand.

Before I could make a decision, I felt my legs buckle, myself fall forward.

Immediately, Liliss was in charge, preventing me from falling flat on my face.

I guessed I could have thanked her for sparing me a black eye or even a broken nose. Instead, shame filled me. I mean, I couldn't even make up my mind before my body failed me.

Worse, I was back in the corner of my mind. Sure, she hadn't muted my senses, but I was still her slave.

Despite what the Yeerk had said about that.

I couldn't even manage to stay in control of my body for-what? Ten freaking minutes?

Anyway, I didn't believe she'd keep her promise. No. She'd never give me control again.

(I will,) she assured me, softly. (Later today, if you want. After you've had a chance to rest.)

I didn't answer, but she could tell that I was having trouble believing her.

Liliss walked my body around the path for awhile. We were quiet, or at least, she not speaking to me, and I wasn't directing my thoughts at her. Being prone to her emotions, I was relieved to see that my Yeerk wasn't gloating at my failure to use my body.

After awhile, I felt...I wasn't sure. Something not like tension, but more, expectation. On Liliss' end, as much as mine. It almost seemed seemed...like she was waiting for me to talk.

Even if it was to rage about what Temrash had done to me.

After about a half an hour, I spoke up.

(Look, Liliss. You promise that you're not going to torture me or hurt me or anything?) I asked, almost harshly.

I wasn't sure I would believe her either way, but maybe it would help if she reassured me.

(More than that, Tom,) Liliss answered, immediately, her voice very gentle. (I want to heal you. Well, I want to help to the best of my ability as you heal yourself,) she self corrected.

I just sighed. Mentally, of course. (But...why? You've got to see that I'm already a good little broken host. If I got better, I could cause problems. Anyway, it's a ton of work on your part, to fix me.)

That wasn't entirely true. The second part, at least. Sure, a broken host would be easier to control than one who fought, but it wasn't like I had any real power.

Unless she wanted to make me voluntary. Except, the empire knew that involuntary hosts rarely turned voluntary after the first couple of weeks.

Liliss sighed. (Oh, honey. I know you wouldn't know it, from your previous Yeerk, but there are many of us who care about their hosts as individuals, not just bodies to infest. Who believe in a symbiotic relationship, instead of a parasitic one.)

Maybe, it was true. Or, it could be an act. I knew which I wanted to believe, but Liliss did, too, which had to make it easier for her. Tell her new host body what he desperately hoped to hear.

Except, I would have almost seen a promise to refrain from hurting me and my family if I didn't fight or anger my new Yeerk as the best I could hope for. A vast improvement over Temrash.

She knew this.

She was offering me more than this.

(Maybe,) I allowed, (but there aren't nearly enough of slugs who...)

I trailed off.

(No,) she agreed, almost sadly. (Not even remotely.)

The thing was, maybe, I would have believed Liliss' words outright had I not been infested by Temrash for over half a year. Or heard the relentless screaming from the Yeerk Pool every time he took me there. Either a lot of people were acting, or most Yeerks didn't share Liliss' viewpoint.

If she's been telling me the truth, had I essentially won the lottery with my second Yeerk? I had a hard time believing anything else.

Anyway, even if Liliss was as decent as she claimed to be, what happens after she gets promoted or reassigned? I was glad that Temrash moved on after six months, but what if Liliss had to do the same and I got stuck with another Yeerk like Temrash? Or even worse? He mostly just ignored me during that last week, except for his celebration at my expense. I knew that he couldn't possibly be the worst type of Yeerk in existence.

For one thing, he only tried to convince Jake and my parents to join The Sharing. He didn't kidnap them. That kind of thing happens, if your Yeerk can convince their higher ups that their host's family is causing problems. I didn't know how often, but I had heard other Yeerks talk about it during full members meetings.

Jake might not want to join The Sharing, for whatever reason, but if he gets kidnapped and infested...all I could hope was that he would figure out a way to end it.

(You don't need to worry about that, honey. I won't accept a promotion that causes a change of hosts,) Liliss promised, still walking.

(Can you do that?) I wondered.

(Of course. Anyway, you have to work for a promotion in order to receive one,) Liliss pointed out, with a mental smile.

Yeah.

That was probably true enough.

We-she-continued to walk for about twenty minutes. I didn't speak to her during this time, and she didn't speak to me. While there wasn't peace or a mutual understanding between us, since I still didn't believe her, I realized that I didn't feel the same sense of hopelessness I had whenever Temrash was in my head.

Like, however awful he was being, it could be worse, and he knew that it could be worse. For him, kindness was only a half an hour of going through my worst memories-when I hadn't done anything wrong-instead of most of the day.

Liliss was...leaving me alone. Kind of.

Well.

She wasn't hurting me, anyway.

Right now, I just sat back in my mind and tried to enjoy feeling the sensation of walking again, of the wind on my face. Liliss' hold on my mind felt so loose that I could even feel the gravel under my shoes.

I wished I could walk again, but I was still so tired, I'd probably pass out even if I could convince her to give me control.

(Do you want to rest? In your mind?) she asked, quietly.

(How?) I wondered, genuinely curious.

Liliss paused, and even though I couldn't read her mind, I could imagine that she was trying to figure out what to tell me.

I hoped, anyway.

(You sort of...drift off,) she explained, finally. (You can doze, or sleep more fully. I will still be able to access your body, but you will experience a level of sleep ranging from a light doze to full REM, depending on how tired you are and how long you sleep.)

(Okay, but how?) I repeated. (Don't I need to close my eyes in order to be able to sleep?)

Not to mention, be in bed. Or, at least, on a comfortable chair. Preferably a couch.

From what Liliss told it, this was all mental. As tired as I was, I wasn't sure I could manage it.

(Well, yes, I can close your eyes for you, or give you control again, and you can do that,) Liliss explained. (But, it's not essential for mental sleep.)

(What is?) I wondered.

(Being tired,) she explained, with a light laugh. (It helps, sometimes, for the Yeerk to ease their host into it. If both parties wish it, I mean. With Meg, my former host, I would replay pleasant memories and give her mental hugs.)

I really, really didn't want Liliss to go rifling through my memories. Good or not. Of course, she couldn't avoid it forever.

I focused my attention on the second part. (Mental hugs?)

(A hug that a Yeerk gives their host, within their mind,) Liliss answered, oh so helpfully. (There are various levels. If you were to permit me, I would only use the lowest one.)

(No!) I almost shouted.

Like the memories, it felt too invasive.

Not that I really had a choice in any of this. I was just this Yeerk's host, and she could do anything she wanted to me. Even asking was a courtesy beyond what Temrash would have given me.

(Okay. That's fine, Tom,) Liliss soothed. (I won't do anything you're not comfortable with. Well, as much as I can,) she added, probably realizing that she was in my head, taking control, and I sure wasn't comfortable with either.

Used to, yeah. Comfortable-never.

We'd arrived at home by now, and I wondered what time it was. Liliss checked my watch-an hour or so before Mom would make dinner. It was also a Wednesday, so Liliss would be spending the evening doing my homework. At least, that was one small benefit of being a Controller. My Yeerks were stuck with my schoolwork. They were responsible for keeping my grades up.

(I could let you lie down,) Liliss began, (but I'd rather you learn how to sleep just using your mind,) Liliss told me. (Associating it too much with real sleep can make it difficult when beds aren't available. Do you understand?)

I did. (Yeah,) I agreed.

(Now, for today, I'll have you sit down at your desk and close your eyes, and you can try to rest in your mind,) Liliss explained. (Would you like to try?)

I had a feeling there was another reason behind that. Liliss hadn't searched my memory yet, or, not fully. She needed to, if she was going to play me with any degree of success around my family. If I was unconscious, I wouldn't be aware of her prying through my mind.

It was, as much as such an invasion could be, a sort of kindness.

(Yeah. Okay,) I agreed.

She walked me up the stairs and into my room, leaving the door open. (Is there anything you want me to...skip over in your mind?) she asked, gently.

(Everything in the last six months?) I sighed, again. I considered. (I don't know. You might as well see all my memories. You'll probably need it at some point. Just, don't...)

I knew that Yeerks could bypass certain memories, but I was pretty sure this was a rare gift bestowed only on voluntary hosts. By now, I was so tired that I wouldn't even be able to think of embarrassing or painful memories that didn't involve Temrash that Liliss could skip over. Anyway, if she ever used memory torture on me, what would it matter if she hadn't viewed them when I was unconscious?

I also knew that a full memory search didn't take very long. Maybe, if I'd been eighty, it would have been a few hours, but I was just sixteen. She'd probably be finished before a half an hour was up. Memories didn't take long to view. Or review.

(Honey, I won't ever use your memories to hurt you,) she murmured.

Once again, I didn't answer.

Liliss walked me over to my desk, and returned control to me. I could have started screaming, but...what was the point?

Instead, I shut my eyes, focused on my bed, and wrapping myself under the covers. Being a slave, I hadn't even been able to put myself to bed in over six months.

How sad was that?

I wasn't sure if Liliss was helping, but I could feel definitely myself relax in my head.

Slowly, I felt myself doze off.

When I regained consciousness, it was at the dinner table. We were eating dessert, so I must have been out for almost two hours. I was aware that I felt a little better, at least in my mind, but still groggy. The memories of the afternoon returned, and being taken over by a new Yeerk. One who considered herself to be more decent than Temrash. Who wanted to help me.

(Tom, honey,) she greeted, loosening her hold on my body. I could actually smell the brownies and ice cream that were on my plate. (Did you sleep well?)

She knew, of course, but...I guessed it was nice of her to ask?

(Kinda,) I replied, truthfully.

Liliss gave me a mental smile, as well as a mental nod. (I'm glad you had a chance to rest. Don't worry. I'm nearly finished with your homework, and we can go to bed early. I promise, I will give you control for that. It shouldn't be as difficult as walking on your own.)

Before I could stamp it out, I felt a small amount of gratitude towards the Yeerk.

(Thanks,) I answered, before I could stop myself.

Well, she knew, either way.

Liliss gave me another mental smile, and continued to eat my dessert. Slowly, so that I could enjoy it.

It had been over six months since I'd been aware enough of my senses to be able to savor the taste of something. Let alone something as amazing as ice cream and brownies.

I was almost glad she was in control. I would have devoured it without being able to enjoy it.

Once we/"I" was excused from the table, Liliss walked my upstairs again and planted me in front of my open textbooks.

(It's just the math assignment that's left,) she explained.

(Well, you're a Yeerk. Should be easy to do dumb old human math, right?) I wondered.

(You're hardly dumb, Tom. But yes, I can do the work sheet without consulting your textbook,) Liliss admitted.

I'd have rolled my eyes at her, had I been able. Temrash thought all of human school was a waste because the subjects were either too primitive or completely irrelevant. He hadn't been completely wrong, from the Yeerk angle. Why would he care about human wars, or works of literature, or even learning another language when, if the Yeerks won, all hosts and Yeerks would speak something called Galard? As for math and science, we were probably light years behind the Yeerks.

Still, he'd had to play my part, which meant doing my homework and studying for tests. Probably because he was a slug and had better access to my memory than I did, plus his own slimy intelligence, what would have taken me over two hours took him less than half the time.

Sometimes, for entertainment, he'd make me live through some of my worst memories while he suffered through my homework.

(I'd never do that,) Liliss reassured me, in response to my unspoken thoughts.

I just let out a mental sigh.

Liliss continued, tentatively. (Tom, as you might have guessed, I viewed your memories.)

(I figured,) I answered, without malice.

After all, I had no way to prevent her from this, and she'd had the decency to wait to view my memories until I fell asleep. Anyway, since I wouldn't be in control for a long time, if ever, Liliss had needed to do this in order to play my part.

You can't really get mad at a slug for trying to show you some decency.

Or, act like it, anyway.

(Tom,) Liliss began, kindly, (I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. I can see how much you've been hurt, and I know it will take awhile for you to trust me. But I do want to help you.)

(Since you've seen all my memories, you have to know it's gonna take awhile before I even start to believe you, let alone trust you,) I shot back, angrily. (Sure, you might be acting nice now, but you're a parasitic slug, same as him. You can still hurt me.)

Liliss sighed. (You're right. Of course, you're right. But I hope that, in time, you will come to believe me and trust me.)

I didn't answer, or not directly.

It didn't occur to me that I was already starting to. In spite of my efforts to keep my guard up, Liliss had managed to break through. Well, a little, anyway.

What could I say? I was broken. And, maybe, when a broken host gets shown any amount of kindness by their Yeerk...they tend to let it get through to them. Because any act of kindness is better than nothing, or worse, being hurt again.

Liliss did my math homework. Usually, I zoned out, or endured Temrash's jabs or memory torture. Now, Liliss sort of hummed to herself in my head, which was kind of...nice. I found myself following along with her as she completed the problems. Even though I was six months behind, I could sort of follow what she was doing. When she caught me paying attention, she spoke up, again.

(Do you want me to show you what I'm doing?) she now asked me.

I did a mental shrug, but my emotions betrayed me.

I was a little curious. Mostly about how much I'd missed since I'd been infested. With a Yeerk doing your homework, and there's no chance of being freed, it's a waste of time to bother paying attention and learning the material.

So, she took me through each step, and then let me work on the next few in my head. I didn't ask for control, didn't want it for something as menial as math homework, and besides, my writing would probably be awful. But, I got the right answers, and that's what counted.

Finally, we were finished, and she packed up my books in my bag, setting it down next to my desk.

(Good job, Tom,) she told me, sending me a mental smile.

I gave her a mental shrug. (Yeah. Thanks.)

Liliss glanced at the clock near my bedtime table.

(Ready for bed?) Liliss asked me.

(Yeah.)

I was still tired, after all. It had been a very long day. All of my days felt unending, though, since I'd become Temrash's host.

Liliss walked my body to the bathroom I shared with Jake. The door was wide open, and he wasn't inside. So, Liliss went through the process of closing the door before she emptied my bladder-which had long since stopped being overtly humiliating, and now just another item on the long list of indignities I'd endured from my Yeerks-before washing my hands, my face, and then brushing my teeth. She opened the door, again, and Jake was waiting outside.

I felt a pang as soon as I saw him. At dinner, I'd been either asleep in my head, or focused on dessert. Because, honestly, thinking about my family hurt.

Especially Jake. He was still just a kid. Barely thirteen years old. If it had been me, I would have thrown my arms around him and made him promise to stay as far away from The Sharing as he could. Not to trust anyone, because they could be Controllers. To enjoy his freedom, being able to move on his own, to think what he wanted without fear of punishment.

Even now, I couldn't do this. I could only sit back in my mind, helpless, as Liliss gave him my standard smile. Affection laced with big brother teasing.

"Don't worry, it's all yours, Midget. And I didn't stink it up too badly."

Humor laced with just the smallest amount of bathroom humor. Yeah, Liliss already knew me well.

Jake made his standard "you're gross" face, but he couldn't fight the laugh that came with it. "Thanks."

He was only thirteen, after all. I felt a familiar ache at being trapped in my mind, unable to talk to him. I watched as my kid brother headed inside the bathroom and closed the door. I was not exactly a literary scholar, but I couldn't not miss the symbolism, there. Liliss let my eyes stare at the door for a few seconds, then walked me to my room, and shut the door behind me.

(You will be able to talk to him, soon,) she promised.

Somehow, this didn't help. If anything, it emphasized the fact that I was still a slave. I just-maybe-had a nicer master.

Mistress.

Whatever.

(Yeah, right. It's not like I'll ever be able to say anything to him. Not as long as you slugs are here,) I retorted.

Liliss, to her credit, didn't seem to take offense to this. (I know, and I promise you, I won't try to infest your brother, Tom.)

Which basically meant that he might have anywhere from a couple of months' to a couple of years' of freedom. Until I got reassigned to a Yeerk who was more ambitious.

Well, if Liliss could stay in my head until I was eighteen, maybe she could move out and we could spend less time with my family. Protect them more from what I was, or, what was living inside of me.

And, if, somehow, she managed to stay in my head until Jake was eighteen...an adult, and unable to be forced to join by our parents-not that they'd shown any indication of doing that.

Well. Maybe.

Liliss didn't say anything in response to my "what if" musings. A dark part of me thought that she was already sick of the fact that I wasn't acting like a good little host.

Probably, I should just shut up and be grateful that she hadn't tortured me yet.

(Would you like control again?) she asked, instead, once she'd exchanged my clothing for an oversized t-shirt and shorts.

My standard sleeping attire. I'd stopped wearing PJs years ago, even though Jake still liked them.

I was almost surprised by her offer, even though the Yeerk had promised to give me control again later.

Not that Yeerks were known for keeping their promises.

(Yeah. Sure,) I agreed, trying not to let myself get too worried about being able to move.

Liliss let go, then, and I took a deep breath before moving the rest of my body.

Really, it wasn't as hard as before, but then again, all I had to do was walk a few feet to my bed and pull the covers over my body. Turn off the light on my bedside table. Then, shift myself into a comfortable position-my right side-and close my eyes. It didn't wear me out, which meant that I was getting better at this, or it was a lot easier than walking more than a few feet. Still, I'd used more of my body just now than I had before, right? That was something?

(It is,) Liliss answered, gently. (You're improving, Tom.)

That was a pretty big statement for what I'd done, but I felt a little pleased with myself all the same. At least, I could move a little. Maybe, it would get easier.

Well, if she gave me control again.

(I will,) she promised. (Every day. We'll work up to sharing control whenever possible, Tom, but I don't want to tire you out. We'll take it slowly, and at your pace.)

(Okay,) I agreed. If she was telling the truth, it sounded reasonable enough. I closed my eyes, pulling the blankets tighter around me. I didn't feel safe, exactly, but I felt safer. Maybe, I'd actually get some real rest, too. How long had it been since I'd slept without nightmares, or even just the overpowering sense of fear and dread? I didn't want to believe that Liliss cared about me, but it was becoming harder to believe it was just some elaborate way to torture me.

I yawned, then turned onto my right side.

Then, before I could stop myself, I added, (Night.)

(Good night, honey. Sleep well,) Liliss answered, gently and easily.

While it could have just been because I was so tired, I did sleep well, and without any nightmares. With Temrash, nightmares were pretty much a regular occurrence. Not daily, but more than half the time. It always amused him, and he took great pleasure in replaying them and picking them apart for me. Which, of course, only made them worse, and harder for me to sleep.

That night, though, I didn't have any dreams. I just slept deeply, soundly, and when I woke up the next day, I was still in control.


	3. Chapter 3

As I regained consciousness, I felt a wave of confusion at being able to move on my own. For half a second, I wondered if the last six months had been a nightmare, when the memories of the previous day washed over me.

(Hello, Tom,) Liliss greeted me, gently.

Kindly.

Huh?

Then, comprehension dawned on me.

Yesterday, I'd received a new Yeerk. Because my old one had been promoted.

I was still a slave. But, at least, this one seemed different. Kind.

So it seemed.

She was still a Yeerk. More importantly, it could still be a trap.

Except, she'd given me control, twice, and if she was to be believed, she wanted to help me.

I mean, I was pretty sure she was lying, or maybe just pretending to get me to cooperate, but as I went over my memories of the past day, she really seemed genuine.

Except.

That was the problem with parasitic brain slugs, though. They could hide whatever they wanted (except emotions) from their host, and then reveal themselves to be spiteful monsters.

Not that I knew from personal experience. Temrash had started out as a jerk, at best, and remained that way.

I'd heard stories, though. Yeerks who tried to "play nice" to get a "reluctant" host to cooperate, only to show their true colors.

Infest their host's family.

Torture them for fighting back.

It had all been a guise to make their host compliant. Not fight back.

So, yeah. Liliss might be the one in a million decent Yeerk. Or, she might be extremely manipulative, and biding her time.

I had to keep my guard up.

(Hi,) I answered, my tone wary.

(Good morning, honey,) she answered, still speaking softly, as though she hadn't heard my thoughts about her and the previous day. (Did you sleep well last night?)

(Yeah. Well, I guess,) I answered, realizing that it had been the first time I'd felt well rested since having been infested. Which she had to know. (Yeah. I slept okay.)

(Well, that's good, honey,) Liliss answered, with a mental smile.

(True,) I acknowledged, aware that I still had control, and made some use of it by sitting myself up in bed. I even stretched my arms and legs. Liliss, it seemed, was not in a hurry to take control from me. (I hope...you know. That it continues. Sleeping well.)

Liliss gave me another one of her mental nods. (Oh, I expect it will, as you become more used to me, and come to trust me,) Liliss murmured. (As for before...well, I've heard that tortured hosts rarely sleep well.)

Couldn't imagine why. Which, come to think of it...

(Wait. Doesn't that take toll on their body?) I wondered. (Which the Yeerk controls?)

(Well, yes, often it does,) Liliss agreed. (The empire claims it's part of the reason to prefer voluntary hosts. They also, in a roundabout way, use this as a cautionary note to discourage Yeerks from intentionally mistreating their host,) Liliss explained, with a mental eye roll.

I could see why.

(Yeah, well. Didn't stop Temrash,) I pointed out, almost sardonically.

(No, it certainly didn't, honey,) Liliss sighed. (He was extremely cruel to you. Beyond what would be deemed acceptable for an involuntary human. Not that I approve of what the empire terms "host discipline".)

(Right, because you think you should only take the ones who want to be slaves to a Yeerk?) I guessed, rolling my eyes.

(Not slaves. Friends,) Liliss corrected. (A symbiotic relationship, instead of a parasitic one.)

Sure.

I sighed out loud. Well, to her credit, she'd admitted yesterday that few such Yeerks existed.

If, of course, anything she'd told me was true.

I stood up, unsure of what to do next. Was Liliss going to take control? Or, was she going to let me have it until I wore myself out, again?

(Honey,) Liliss answered my unspoken thoughts, (I thought I'd let you get dressed, maybe brush your teeth and that sort of thing. If you want.)

It wasn't exactly taking a walk or playing basketball, but those were clearly beyond my ability. At least, at the moment.

I gave her a mental nod. (Oh. Sure, okay.)

I headed to my closet. Carefully, in case I was about to fall. Except, it felt a little easier, this time. More natural, and less intentional. I spent all of ten seconds choosing the shirt and jeans I wanted to wear, then stripped off my sleepwear to put on my clothes.

That seemed to go okay, too.

(Good job,) Liliss praised. (Now, I'm going to take over, just in case we see someone from your family in the hallway. I'll give you back control once we're in the bathroom.)

(Okay. Thanks for the heads up,) I answered, meaning it.

I felt Liliss take control again, and was glad that she just used the loose kind. I enjoyed "loose control". Well, I enjoyed it compared to the other kind. I knew that, either way, I was a prisoner in my body, but this way, I didn't feel so disconnected from my body. Like, if Temrash accidentally fell down or banged my arm or something, he would have been the only one to really feel it. I'd been aware of the fact that there was pain in my body, of course, and I might have even mentally flinched, but he'd been the one to experience the full force of it.

In the beginning, I'd taunted him about it.

He...well, he'd hurt me enough that I didn't do it again.

Anyway.

Loose control was something I could sort of get behind.

Liliss walked me to the bathroom to brush my teeth and the usual morning routine.

(Tom? Do you think you're up for this?) she asked me, once we were inside.

I hesitated, aware of my Yeerk monitoring my thoughts as well as my body. Would it wear me out, make it too hard to focus when Liliss decided to give me control later?

Really, it was if she gave me control later?

(I think you should try,) she murmured, hearing my thoughts. (My knowledge about this is limited, but I don't think you can "use up" the use of your body that way, honey. I rather suspect that small...bursts...of control might be more productive, in the beginning, than trying to force yourself to remain in control without tiring yourself out for longer periods.)

(Sort of like high intensity workouts?) I asked.

Coach was big on those. So was I...well, before.

Liliss gave me a mental smile. (Well, I wouldn't want you to compare using your own body to intense exercise, but I suppose there are some similarities.)

I gave her a mental nod. (Okay. Um, don't...I mean, if I mess up...)

What I was trying to say was, if I couldn't perform these simple bodily functions without her help, Liliss could take over.

And, ideally, not mock me.

(Of course, honey,) she reassured me.

Without going into any major details, I was able to perform the basic bodily functions without any major problems. At one point, my left hand went kind of stiff, but that was probably because I was holding onto the counter like crazy as I brushed my teeth, afraid that I'd fall down.

I didn't, though.

Sure, I felt drained afterwards, but not like I had after walking for five minutes.

Anyway, it went without saying that it would be awhile before Liliss could let me loose in front of my parents.

If she ever wanted to, anyway.

(Good job, Tom,) she praised, and I felt her mean it.

(Thanks. I guess you better take over, though,) I allowed.

(Yes. For now,) she promised. (Just for now.)

I gave her a mental nod, and managed a small smile, which she returned.

Weird. I hadn't really known that you could do stuff like that with your Yeerk. Mental smiles and nods and stuff. Temrash mostly "put me in my place" by modifying the tone of his voice.

It usually worked.

Liliss walked me downstairs to eat breakfast. Jake was already there, eating a bowl of cornflakes. He gave me a nod in greeting, but the expression on his face was either wary or distracted. Could be nothing, but I knew that Temrash had been kind of a jerk to him, especially during those last few days. In a lot of ways, he hadn't acted like himself at all during his time in my head.

Jake had seemed to be the only one to notice this, but he couldn't have possibly guessed why.

(He does seem a little different, lately,) Liliss observed, as she ate my Cheerios.

I felt a sense of dread. (Please...you promised you weren't going to take him.)

(And I meant it. I won't, Tom,) she promised, and I could feel that she meant it.

(Okay,) I answered, feeling a little embarrassed.

(It was only an observation, honey,) she murmured. (I'm sorry. I'll be more careful.)

(Yeah. Okay,) I muttered, feeling both angry and embarrassed. Mostly, at myself.

On the other hand, Liliss' endearment helped, as much as I wanted to deny it. She'd called me that several times in the past however many hours. Each time, she seemed to mean it.

Anyway, it was better than being called "human", or, well, worse.

(Okay, he's acting different,) I relented, a few minutes later, when he looked at me, then looked away, abruptly. (He's a teenager, and he didn't make the basketball team. Temrash was also a total jerk about it, when he told him.)

Even though that had been weeks ago, it still bugged me. How Temrash had just dismissed it all. Had it been me, I would have given Jake a bear hug and told him not to worry. That if it meant that much to him to be on the team, we'd practice like crazy. Maybe, I could have convinced the coach to let him try out again. Except, Temrash had quit just days earlier. Honestly, the fact that this raised red flags from precisely no one made me wonder if my parents were completely out of their minds. I had a gift, I could have gone pro, and suddenly, I'm quitting to spend more time at some club I only joined a few months ago?

Spending more time at The Sharing had only been part of Temrash's reasoning for quitting. He could have easily done both. Except, even when he was controlling my body, I still got a small amount of joy at playing basketball. I could almost forget I was a slave in my mind for those short hours. I could almost pretend it was me making those moves, doing my classic jump shot.

Temrash knew this, and he wanted to break me. That was the real reason he made me quit.

Following my train of thought, Liliss didn't respond to what I'd told her.

(You miss playing on the team,) she observed. (It was cruel of him to make you quit.)

(Yeah, well. Just one of his many cruel acts towards me,) I remarked, letting my bitterness show.

(Too many,) Liliss agreed. (Of course, I'm of the opinion that even one is too many.)

Yeah. Me too.

Liliss seemed to be thinking about something, but I wasn't privy to her thoughts.

A few minutes later, though, she filled me in.

(Tom, I'll talk to the coach. Even though it's probably too late to get back on the team this year, with the season nearly over, I can ask him about next year. Make sure that he knows you realized what a mistake it was to quit,) Liliss promised.

(Kiss his butt, you mean,) I translated, not managing to hide a mental smirk.

Not that a small amount of butt kissing wouldn't be warranted. I was just glad that it would be Liliss doing it, not me.

Assuming she followed through on this.

Liliss laughed. (That's hardly unique to humans, Tom.)

(I can't imagine what you mean,) I deadpanned.

Of course, I knew exactly what she meant.

I was surprised when Liliss had the conversation with the coach-Coach Andrews-that very day. After gym class. She sounded like I would have, had I been stupid enough to quit the team under my own control.

If anything, Coach seemed relieved.

"Of course, you can come back next season. I was worried about you, when you quit like that, Tom," he admitted. "No one can deny that The Sharing is a great group, but you have a real gift. I hated to see you throw it all away."

"It was stupid of me," Liliss agreed. "I know it's too late in this season, but if I keep practicing on my own, and try out next year, do you really think I'd be ready?"

"Definitely," Coach agreed. "You'd have to try out with the others, but between us, it would be a formality. I know what you're capable of. Just practice a little between now and then, and you'll be fine."

He grinned, and winked at us.

"Thanks, sir. I won't let you down," Liliss promised, in earnest.

Coach laughed, gave me a pat on the back, and then dismissed me.

For the first time in awhile, I felt elated.

Okay, it would be almost a year before I could play again, but let's face it, it could easily be that long before I was ready. I could hardly move on my own for more than a few minutes without getting exhausted. How was I supposed to play basketball on my own?

(You won't be on your own, Tom. You'll have me to help you, if you need it,) Liliss promised. (Anyway, I'm sure you'll regain full mobility for extended periods of time before then.)

(Yeah? What makes you think that?) I wondered, not without some bitterness.

(Other Yeerks from the Peace Movement have...we call it "rehabilitating"...our hosts. Ones who were hurt by their previous Yeerks, or even those who were not given control and forgot how to use some or all of their body. It's a small sample size, but it never takes a host longer than a year to be where they were before they were infested,) Liliss explained. (That includes any specialized skills.)

A flurry of thoughts went through my mind, but the main one was what she called the group. (Peace Movement, huh?)

(Well, I wanted to call it Yeerks Who Protest the Infestation of Involuntary Sentient Beings, but I was outvoted,) Liliss answered, with a light laugh.

I gave her a mental start. (You're kidding, right?)

(Yes.) She laughed, then sent me an eye roll. (Given the militaristic nature of the empire, we thought that calling our group the "Peace Movement" was both a fairly innocuous term, when explaining it to our hosts, and as a jab at the empire. As humans call it, a win-win.)

(Yeah,) I acknowledged. Then, with a mental grin, I added, (You could call it the Dapsen Movement.)

I didn't know the exact translation of the word, but it had to be a Yeerk profanity.

Liliss laughed. (Perhaps. Too late, now.)

(Going back to me playing on the team,) I asked, a little nervously, (you really think I'd be ready in six months?)

(Yes. We'll practice a lot, and you'll be ready before then, honey,) Liliss promised me.

Over the next couple of days, Liliss kept her promises. That is, she didn't hurt me, she didn't try to recruit Jake for The Sharing, and she let me have control in private for as long as I could stand it. Granted, I usually lasted about five minutes before I was ready to give up, but at least I could move more of my body at once during that five minutes. I told myself that this was progress, even if it was slow.

It was probably a good thing that Liliss hadn't been my first Yeerk. I mean, if she'd had a change of heart after breaking me, I would have been furious at her for my slow recovery. As it was, she was only trying to undo what Temrash had done. I might have taken out my frustration on her, but I really couldn't blame her.

At least, not completely.

One good thing about being so tired from having my body back for some periods of time was that I usually slept like a rock. At least, so far, I hadn't had any nightmares.

On Saturday morning, Liliss took us back to the Yeerk Pool so that she could feed. It definitely wasn't up there on ways I would want to spend a Saturday morning, but Liliss couldn't wait too much longer without suffering severe hunger pangs. Not that I knew about this from Temrash. He fed whenever he had the chance, using my status as an underage male to bypass any feeding regulations that existed for other species.

At least, she let me get dressed and all that on my own. She did take control when it was time for breakfast. It was just my parents that morning.

"Where's Jake?" she asked.

Dad shrugged, and Mom, having just taken a sip of coffee, didn't answer.

"Hanging out with Marco, probably," she answered, once she swallowed. "You're up early, too. Sharing meeting, honey?"

"Yeah, but it's just for a couple of hours. I'll be back this afternoon," Liliss replied, then took a bite of the eggs Mom had made.

"You need money for gas?" Dad asked.

Temrash would have said yes, but Liliss shook my head. "Filled up earlier this week. There's easily three quarters of a tank."

"That's good. Gas prices seem to be getting higher each week, and with three of us, it feels like I'm bleeding money," Dad laughed.

"Wait until Midget gets his permit," Liliss laughed. "Just two years to go."

Dad groaned, but it was a good natured one. "And you'll be in your second year of college! That's a lot more than gas."

"Sorry," Liliss shrugged.

"I'd hoped you'd get a scholarship playing basketball," Dad mused, "but after you left the team...not that The Sharing isn't a great use of your time."

"Well," Liliss began, "I'm not quitting The Sharing, but I spoke to Coach the other day. He's going to let me try out for next year. A sports scholarship isn't off the table."

Dad beamed-so did Mom.

"That's great, Tom!" Dad practically shouted.

Mom nodded. "Just make sure you can handle all of that, sweetie. The Sharing takes up a lot more of your time than basketball did."

"Oh, I'll manage," Liliss assured them. "This does mean that I won't be able to do homework. Hope you don't mind," Liliss added, with my disarming grin.

Dad laughed and Mom groaned.

In my mind, I was glad that Liliss told them. Even though speaking to Coach had been the big thing, letting my parents know that I wanted to be back on the team added some more...something...to it.

Like, this was really going to happen.

Whether it would be me in control or Liliss was another issue entirely.

We left the house shortly afterwards, and another thought entered my mind as Liliss drove the car to the Yeerk Pool. I knew that it would only be a matter of time before Temrash infested his new host, and the thought made me sick. My parents never talked much about politics, so I had no idea how they voted, or even if they even voted the same way. Anyway, the governor seemed okay enough as a person. No known affairs or stealing money from us. In light of that, it seemed awful to think that he'd be infested, especially by Temrash. Few people deserved that fate.

Maybe someone like Hitler, had he still been alive, or Saddam Hussein. But, not a regular person whose only crime was going into politics.

Or a kid like me who'd entered a full members Sharing meeting and happened to see Visser Three in his Andalite body.

Sometimes, I wondered what would have happened if I'd reacted like it was a big prank. That it wasn't actually an alien, but someone in a costume.

I mean, probably, the end result would have been the same, but who knows. The Sharing wanted voluntary Controllers, and if I'd have passed it off like it was some great joke...

Too late, now.

Anyway, once it was Liliss' turn to leave my head, she bid me goodbye, gently, and promised that she'd be back in a couple of hours, and maybe we could try playing basketball. I hadn't gone near one since Temrash had made me quit the team. I told her I wasn't sure if I was ready, and she left it at that.

It was getting really hard to think that she was just acting, that she didn't actually care about me. It could still be an act, but I was beginning to think that she was being honest. That she wanted to help me.

The guards dragged me over to a cage, and since there weren't a ton of people crammed in with me, I tried to make the most use I could of my body. Flexing my arms, taking a few steps in various directions, switching between sitting and standing. I eventually stopped, worn out, and sat down with my shoulders slumped over, my hands covering my face and my ears, trying to block out the screams.

No one bothered to talk to me. I'd seen people try to talk to others, even strangers hugging each other, seeking any kind of comfort they could get. But, it wasn't what most people did. Most people screamed, sobbed, cursed. Those who had given up just stared out of the cages, sometimes involuntarily rocking as they sat.

Me, until Liliss.

Two hours later, the guards opened the door to my cage and dragged me to the second pier. The one for reinfestation. I didn't try to fight or run, but I also didn't walk on my own. If they were going to drag me, let them. I wouldn't make it any easier.

I felt the familiar sharp stab of pain before Liliss squirted the painkiller, and then, just pressure and a gradual and random loss of control. For a minute, I worried that it would be a new Yeerk, but as soon as she spoke, I knew it was her.

(Hello, honey,) she greeted, gently.

(Hi,) I replied, sure that she could detect the relief in my voice.

(It's all right,) she soothed, as she made my body stand upright, and briskly walked away from the pool. (They wouldn't give you to another Yeerk so soon, and certainly without telling me beforehand.)

(And if that happens later?) I wondered, not without some anxiety.

She laughed, gently. (It won't happen. By now, I am skilled at doing enough to avoid being killed without earning a promotion. Besides, once you have a human host, you can't advance much farther. High ranked humans are extremely rare, which is why your former Yeerk's new host will be the highest ranked human on the planet. There's no need to worry, Tom.)

It made sense.

(Guess I'm stuck with you, then,) I retorted, only half serious.

She gave me a mental smile in response.

The next day was a Sharing meeting. To Liliss and my surprise, Visser Three was irate, instead of overjoyed. We soon found out that the Andalite Bandits had learned about the hospital and destroyed every Yeerk there. Since the governor hadn't gone for his surgery before the attack, that meant that he was free, and would likely stay that way. At least, for the immediate future. Best of all, this meant that my old Yeerk, Temrash had died. Boiled alive, according to Visser Three.

I was not the only one to be happy at his death.

(It's better than he deserved, after how he treated you. And others, I'm sure,) Liliss told me, anger in her voice. Not at me, I knew. (Had I been a visser, I certainly would have starved him. But, at least, that's one more empire Yeerk that won't be around to mistreat his host.)

Her concern for me was touching, but there was something else I'd been wondering.

(Think it hurt a lot?) I wondered.

After all, it hadn't been just Temrash in the pool. Not that I was a Yeerk sympathizer, but it was possible that one or more could have been part of the Peace Movement.

Or, at least, considering joining.

(I wouldn't know, having never experienced it,) Liliss remarked, rather dryly. (That being said, our bodies can detect changes in water temperature very acutely, and there have been Yeerks who were demoted or starved if they accidentally set the Yeerk pool temperature a degree too hot or cold. It is painful for us to be in water that is too hot or too cold. Personally, if I had to be sentenced to death, I'd prefer it over Kandrona starvation, but I wouldn't enjoy either. I suppose boiling would be considerably faster, though.)

I didn't say much else during the meeting, but mostly because I let myself doze off. If Liliss planned to give me control again that evening, I'd need all the rest I could get.

Over the weekend, Jake started acting like a total maniac. For one thing, he seemed to be eating everything in sight, especially at meals. Not to mention, it was like he'd never spoken English before, because he kept sounding out his words and adding sounds to the end of them. It would have been annoying, except I was worried that Liliss would renege on her promise to keep him free.

"This chicken is delicious!" Jake was yapping at dinner. "Delicious! Isshhh. Us. US!"

He'd already eaten four pieces, and reached for more.

Good thing Mom had made plenty.

Better that we had all chosen our pieces of chicken, and honestly, watching Jake eat his was unlikely to make any of us want more.

Even though it was good. Very good. Mom was always a great cook.

"Well...I'm glad you like it," Mom smiled, giving Dad a sideways look.

"You must be starting a growth spurt!" Dad chuckled.

Liliss started to open my mouth, probably to speak, and fear overtook me. I fought her, hard, with everything I had.

Nothing.

Of course.

Fear filled me. I'd fought her, in front of my family. If she didn't punish me with memory torture, she definitely would use some other method.

Yeerks had so many ways to make their hosts suffer. So many methods at their disposal.

(Tom, it's okay,) she soothed. (I won't hurt you.)

(Okay,) I repeated, not completely believing her.

I heard Liliss tell Jake to slow down, or he'd start to choke. Jake gave her an uncharacteristically angry look, so Liliss raised my hands in mock surrender.

"You're not going to stop being a minute any sooner if you choke on your food," she pointed out. "Chew, then swallow, okay?"

"Chew, then swallow," Jake repeated. "Chew. Ew."

"I give up," Liliss grumbled.

She sent me an amused grin. (I hope nothing's wrong with him.)

(Liliss...please,) I begged. (Please, don't take Jake.)

She was quiet for a minute, then spoke more gently than I ever heard her.

(I promise you, Tom. I will never attempt to infest your younger brother. Never.)

Maybe, it was because she spoke with such conviction, as well as gentleness. Somehow, at least in that moment, I believed her.

(Okay,) I replied. (I...believe you.)

At least, I believed her about not wanting to infest Jake.


	4. Chapter 4

We watched a little TV with my parents and Jake, then headed to my room, with the excuse of turning in early. I was pretty exhausted. The mental strain of fighting for control...it had been a long time since I'd fought Temrash, and I remembered now how-even on the rare occasion he hadn't punished me directly-I'd still suffered the consequences. Mostly, a type of mental exhaustion not unlike how I felt after Liliss gave me control of my body for a few minutes. Resting in my mind for the past hour or so helped, but I half expected Liliss to keep control, both for practicality and as a reminder that while she'd forgiven me for fighting her, she was still the one in charge. It would have been a very empire Yeerk thing to do. But, no. Liliss relinquished control as soon as we were in my room.

(Really?) I asked her, my disbelief evident.

(Yes, really,) she replied, almost playfully. At my hesitation, she gave me a gentle mental nudge. (Go ahead, Tom.)

I shrugged to myself, then opened my dresser and pulled out the first pair of pajamas I saw. I changed into them without much difficulty.

(I'll just take over in the hallway,) Liliss reassured me, as I opened my bedroom door. (You can handle brushing your teeth and all of that on your own. Of course, I can take over if you need me.)

(Right,) I agreed, even nodding a little.

Once in the bathroom, I did manage the necessary bathroom activities on my own. Was I getting better at this? Anyway, Liliss took over again for the very short walk back to my room, and let go once we were inside and she'd closed my door.

(Ready for bed? Or, would you like to try to read for a little while?) Liliss asked.

(I'm too tired to read,) I admitted.

I wasn't much of a reader, anyway, beyond the required school stuff, but I'd enjoyed it on occasion...before.

Liliss must have known my answer, but at least she'd asked.

I climbed into bed, pulling the covers over me, exhausted, and waiting for sleep. Except, after at least ten minutes of just laying there, it was clear that I couldn't sleep.

It wasn't insomnia. I still worried about Jake, and another part of me was still piecing what I knew of Liliss together. Obsessing over it, even. I'd fought her for control, after all. In front of my entire family. Sure, it hadn't resulted in as much as a twitch or a blink, but Temrash had punished me for that kind of thing all the time. Other Yeerks would have as well. Even, I was sure, the ones with voluntary hosts, if their host had been so reckless as to fight them in front of their family.

Except, she hadn't punished me. Hadn't even yelled at me, or warned me never to do that again. Which, in the eyes of the empire, would have been seen as extremely generous, probably bordering on host sympathy.

Especially for an involuntary host like me.

Beyond that, Liliss had actually apologized for making me worry about Jake. Or...whatever it was she'd said. It didn't feel at all like typical Yeerk behavior. If this whole "nice Yeerk" act was just that, wouldn't my fighting her have made her snap? Break the act, if only for a few minutes? Or, even, decide that the gig was up, and she should just treat me like any other defeated host instead of taking the time to act like she was trying to help me?

I felt Liliss' silence in my head, now. She obviously heard my thoughts and my questions, so why wasn't she responding?

That would have angered me six months ago. Of course, she had the ability to hide her thoughts from me.

Now, it just depressed me. It was another way that I was powerless, even if I currently had control over my body.

(Tom,) she murmured.

Liliss' voice was always gentle, always on the quiet side, but now, it felt like a whisper. If she hadn't been in my head, there was no way I would have heard her.

I sighed out loud. (What? You choose now to change your mind about punishing me?)

She gave a mental shudder. It didn't seem forced-it felt instinctive, on her end.

(No. I could never do that to you, Tom,) she answered, firmly, but still...gently.

A part of me felt guilty. Liliss hadn't hurt me, not like Temrash.

Of course, that didn't mean that she wouldn't.

(Why are you doing this?) I demanded, suddenly. (Why are you helping me? Why are you being nice to me?)

If she was helping. If her kind treatment of me was genuine.

I felt Liliss' emotions shift a little. It was weird. Not because I wasn't used to Temrash's varying emotions. Rather, my new Yeerk's usual calm demeanor seemed to give way to this overpowering sense of sadness.

As soon as I sensed this, Liliss made an effort to retain her mental composure. Get control of herself, instead of her host. I was, after all, still in control of my body. Not that this amounted to much except blinking and breathing.

(Well, for starters, I've never been an advocate of the empire,) Liliss began. (Not the new propaganda about how everyone who was worthy would be assigned a host, how it was the greatest thing a Yeerk could hope for. That was, in part, because when I was summoned for training, to infest a Gedd for the first time for fifteen minutes, I hated the experience. I was far from the only one of my siblings and friends, but there were some Yeerks who couldn't wait to experience it again. I was assigned a Gedd, after awhile, who was compliant. They usually are. Then, a Hork-Bajir, but he'd long since given up fighting, and his mind had nearly disappeared. I might have been able to coax him out, had I know, but...) Liliss trailed off.

I gave a mental shudder. Probably, a physical one, too. Even though it probably happened all the time.

Well, maybe not with voluntary hosts.

(Anyway,) Liliss continued, (While, over time, I have come to prefer having a host to not having one, by the time I was promoted to a human, I'd decided that rather go hostless than infest someone who doesn't want me there.)

(Not to point out the obvious, but I don't want you there,) I reminded her, though without much malice.

Liliss gave me a mental nod. (I know. The only reason I am not freeing you is because I know that you would almost certainly be infested again, and with a Yeerk like Temrash, if not worse.)

Probably, yeah.

If she was telling me the truth, this made sense. She'd been dealt a bad hand with me, a hostile but defeated and very involuntary host, which had to stink for someone who only wanted a voluntary one. Liliss couldn't ask to be reassigned so soon after infesting me, though. She wasn't high ranking enough.

Also, if Liliss was telling the truth...

(Plus the whole using my body for more than a few minutes wears me out,) I observed, a little more bitterly than before.

That wasn't her fault.

(Well...yes. That's certainly a factor,) Liliss agreed, softly. (But, Tom, I still believe that this...condition...is temporary. I'm sure you'll be able to maintain control over your body indefinitely within a matter of months.)

Maybe. I found that hard to believe, given where I was now.

Besides...

(What you're saying is, for now, we're stuck with each other,) I allowed.

(You're right,) Liliss agreed. (That doesn't mean that it has to be horrible for you. I want to help you, Tom.)

I inhaled, then exhaled. (I don't see why.)

Liliss gave a mental nod. (Tom, I can feel your pain, and I know that the empire is wrong. Besides,) she added, softly, (I had a host who wanted me, once. I'd like to believe that it can happen again. With you.)

(Yeah, well. It's hard to trust you,) I grumbled. (You could be lying.)

(I could show you my memories,) Liliss offered, without any hesitation.

(No!) I practically growled. (No memories!)

(All right,) Liliss conceded, and I was sure there was weariness in her voice. (Then, you'll just have to accept that a reason to trust me will come over time.)

I rolled my eyes. Again.

Liliss continued her speech. (I have to believe, Tom, that every day you can see that your brother is free and you are able to move on your own, even just for a few minutes, you will come to believe that I want to help you that much more,) Liliss murmured. (You have to know that I can't do much more than that, with what you've given me.)

(I've been through enough memory torture for ten lifetimes,) I pointed out, sharply.

(Yes. I know, honey.) Liliss gave me a mental nod.

(If what you're saying is true...I am probably getting on your nerves a lot,) I realized, turning on my side.

I couldn't apologize, not really. I couldn't control my thoughts. My doubts. My fears.

To my surprise, Liliss laughed.

(Honey, I'm living inside your head. I know all of your thoughts, and your reasoning behind your thoughts. I know what you've been through. I...to use a human term...get you.) She gave a little mental laugh. (It's easy to be patient and understanding, in those circumstances. It's only frustrating because I know how hard it is for you to trust me.)

I ran this over in my mind. It made sense.

(Then, why are other Yeerks such jerks?) I wondered. Okay, half complained.

As Liliss had just told me, she could take it.

(Because they buy into the empire doctrine that the Yeerk is the most superior of all intelligent life forms throughout the galaxy,) Liliss explained, with a mental eye roll. (Once you buy into that, you have to shut off any feelings of compassion towards your host. Or, at least, shove them aside.)

(So, when you decide not to do that...?) I began.

(It's very easy to care for, and care about, your host,) Liliss finished for me, almost smiling. (Not simply keeping them alive, but their happiness, and their overall wellbeing.)

(You mean, change the parasitic relationship into a symbiotic one? By caring and actually listening to what they need?) I asked, almost incredulous.

(That's the general idea.) Liliss gave me a mental smile. (Yeerks don't have to be parasites, and our hosts certainly don't simply need to be...hosts.)

I wondered what it would have been like, had I gotten a Yeerk like Liliss--or how she was claiming to be--instead of Temrash.

I wouldn't have been such a wreck, but would I have believed in the empire? Thought that the Yeerks taking over other humans was okay?

Would I have fought to protect Jake, or figured that he got infested and ended up involuntary, it was because he had refused to cooperate with his Yeerk?

(You would have fought to keep your brother safe,) Liliss murmured. (You care about him more than anyone else in the world.)

Yeah. Probably.

Even then, in this alternate universe, I would have guessed that not all Yeerks were decent.

At least, not after my first trip to the Yeerk Pool.


	5. Chapter 5

The following morning, Jake ate enough breakfast to feed five families living in a third world country. Or, at least, enough for four teenagers going through what must be a growth spurt.

Since we didn't have traditional breakfasts together the way we did for dinner, Jake's eating wasn't exactly on display for them. Still, Mom would have to go shopping at least two more times a week if Jake kept this up.

(As long as he doesn't eat another pie again,) Liliss mused, as we watched Jake down his fourth bowl of cereal.

(Surprised he wasn't in the bathroom all night,) I admitted.

Well, he could have been. Maybe.

We tried to laugh it off, and I knew that Liliss wouldn't use this as a reason to infest him. Still, I was worried, especially with this change being so...abrupt. Had I eaten that much when I was his age? I was pretty sure I hadn't, and I didn't want to ask Liliss to bring up any memories of me when I was thirteen. Not that they were horrible ones, but...

Jake was still eating when Liliss and I took off for school. I assumed that Jake would make the bus, because I was going to drive Mom's car (she didn't need it today) and it would be a long walk if he missed it.

Liliss took one last look at my kid brother. "See you tonight, Midget!"

"Yes. Es. See you tonight. Night," he mumbled through a mouthful of half chewed cereal.

The day passed as a fairly normal one, even though it seemed strange that Liliss had been in my head for just under a week and I was already thinking of life under her-whatever it was-as normal.

Really, I didn't exactly mind her being in control of my body when we were at school. School hadn't been bad before Temrash. I'd been popular as a star basketball player, and my grades might not have been all A's, but they were still pretty good. Enough for my teachers to like me, to think I was a decent student as well as an athlete. The two didn't always mix. I probably could have gotten all A's if I put more effort in. Whenever Jake had needed help with his homework, I'd been available to help. Not that he'd asked for any in the past year or so. Anyway, before Temrash, I'd kind of had the best of both worlds at school. Respected by my classmates, liked by my teachers, and probably a crush by more than a few of the girls in my class. Which had been why I'd joined The Sharing.

Temrash had enjoyed making my life a living hell at school, showing me everything I'd lost. I was still popular, but as a member of The Sharing in good standing. My grades suddenly jumped to all A's, even though The Sharing took up almost as much of my time as basketball did. At least, the way Temrash used my body to promote it.

Now...

Basketball was still on the table, but not until next year. Assuming that I recovered enough to be able to play on my own. I was still liked, still popular, among my classmates and my teachers. I guessed I had some hope that my life would be almost my own again, maybe, in enough time.

Right now, I was okay with Liliss controlling my body while I was in class. I'd never been all about the quest for learning. Which meant that I not want to spend mental energy controlling my body for something that my new Yeerk could handle. Besides, we both knew that it was safer for her to be in control right now.

So, while Liliss took notes, my mind usually wandered. Sometimes, I'd think about the past. Playing basketball on the team, or with Jake. My dad teaching me how to ride a bike, and later, how to drive a car. Sometimes, I'd remember something from childhood, and I'd be a little suspicious that Liliss was involved with that, but her concentration was on my classes, so probably not.

It wasn't that I'd been unable to remember the good times when I'd been with Temrash. More that even thinking about stuff like that hurt. By the end, he almost didn't have to punish me with memory torture. I could almost do that on my own.

Now, remembering that I'd had a life, a good life, before becoming an alien slave, and hoping that I could trust Liliss not to go all evil space slug on me...

I could find some kind of happiness in remembering my life from before.

Unfortunately, today was different. Not because of Liliss. She was decent, as she had been for nearly the last week. No, mostly, I was worried about Jake. The change in him was so sudden, so drastic.

Once, I might have joked that an alien had taken over his body, but having gone through that, I knew that no Yeerk would act so recklessly.

Had my kid brother snapped? If so, why?

There wasn't much that Liliss could say to reassure me, so I sort of stewed in the back of my mind for most of the day. Hoped that my kid brother would, somehow, become himself again.

Whether God was answering my prayer or Jake had decided that he was sick of eating everything and playing with words, he actually did seem himself when we arrived home. Well, kind of. He gave me this long stare, and I almost thought he was about to start crying, but then, he just forced a smile.

"Hey, Midget," Liliss greeted. "You okay?"

"Yeah, sure," he mumbled. "I got a lot of homework. See you later."

(Well, at least he's not playing with his words,) Liliss reassured me.

(Or headed for the kitchen to eat everything in sight,) I added.

We headed upstairs to work on my homework. Afterwards, since there was still an hour before dinner, Liliss took me back on the trail and I managed a full ten minutes of walking on my own before needing to hand over the reigns to her.

Ten minutes wasn't horrible, but it wasn't great.

(You're anxious,) she soothed.

(Probably.) I sighed. (I'll feel better once we see how Jake's doing.)

If we knew one way or the other. One meal wasn't going to determine whether or not my kid brother had gone off the deep end, but it might be an indicator.

Jake was subdued at dinner, barely touching his food. He also looked at me with more intensity than he had before. It was weird. Over the last couple of days, when our eyes met, his almost radiated anger. Especially when Liliss spoke. Now, he just looked wary, like I was going to tease him mercilessly about the amount of food he'd eaten.

In all fairness, Liliss wouldn't be playing me if I didn't make some comment about Jake's eating habits.

Especially when he barely touched his tuna casserole. Not one of either of our favorite foods, but Mom was almost as big as getting "different types of meat" into us as she was about disgusting vegetables like broccoli or Brussels sprouts.

"Mom? Dad? May I be excused?" Jake asked, after finishing about half of his dinner.

Mom always made a dessert, but maybe Jake had decided he was already stuffed after, well, the last couple of days.

"Sure, honey," Mom answered, gently. "Aren't you feeling well?"

Jake gave me another strange look, then nodded. "Yeah, I guess I'm just really tired."

This was evidently a good enough reason to skip dessert.

"Want me to save you something in case you change your mind?" Liliss asked, without any teasing in our voice.

But Jake just shook his head, and headed upstairs.

Was it an improvement? Or another personality switch?

That night, I had my first nightmare since Liliss infested me. Since it had been a week without any, I should have been expecting one by now. For whatever reason, though, I hadn't been.

In the nightmare, Jake was at a Sharing meeting, but he wasn't a full member. I knew this because I was in a small room for full members only, and he was in the larger area with the associate and potential associate members. Visser Three was in the room with us, in his stolen Andalite body. Suddenly, Jake was banging on the door, yelling that the building was on fire or something like that, and just as the door opened, he saw Visser Three.

I screamed in my head, begged Temrash not to take him, but he just laughed. Oh, that horrible, menacing laugh. Then, he gleefully informed me that he hoped the visser would allow him to personally infest Jake.

I woke up, then, unable to move. Unable to do anything, even blink.

(Tom, it's me,) came Liliss' voice, gentle, but urgent. (It's okay, honey. It was just a dream.)

A dream. Right.

Midget was safe.

It was a dream.

But, I still couldn't move. I was trapped.

As usual.

(Please...can I...?) I half asked, half pleaded.

Liliss seemed to expect this. Of course, she had, being in my head.

(Of course, honey,) my Yeerk answered, and withdrew from the control centers of my brain.

I sat up, unable to breathe. I forced myself to take a deep breath, then another. Still. It felt like I'd just been suffocated.

"Why...?" I began, then, immediately switched to mental speech. (Why'd you keep control?)

I knew it sounded like I was whining, but the dream was still vivid, and my fear for Jake felt very, very real.

(I'm sorry. It was a precaution,) Liliss explained, softly. (Next time, I'll give you control as soon as you know it's a dream. I promise.)

Believing her, I nodded, for real, still wishing I could slow down my heart rate. Then, I flopped back down on my bed. I grabbed a pillow and held it close to my chest.

(Right.) I nodded. (Okay.)

(I can...do that,) Liliss offered. (Without taking full control.)

I took another deep breath, but it still felt like I couldn't get enough air into my lungs. I held the pillow tighter.

(Okay,) I repeated.

Without losing control, I felt my heart rate slow down, my lungs able to expand, or whatever it was that they did. I could feel myself calm down, physically, and mentally.

I reminded myself that Temrash was dead. Jake had only ever attended one Sharing meeting, and then bolted. More to the point, Liliss didn't seem to have any immediate plans to infest my brother.

My kid brother.

For now, at least, Jake was safe.

Even so, I really didn't want to go back to sleep. I probably wouldn't have the same dream again, but what if I had another nightmare?

Hearing this thought, Liliss spoke up. (There are other ways I can help you, Tom. When you have nightmares.)

(How?) I asked, warily.

(Yeerks can give mental hugs. Or, I could replay a pleasant memory. There are also songs we know, from the pool...sort of like human lullabies, but without words,) Liliss tried to explain. (We have many calming techniques.)

Right. While I didn't think Liliss was going to use any of that to torture me, at least directly, that required a lot more trust than I had.

Especially now.

I shook my head. (No, Liliss. I'm not...I'm not ready for that. Any of that.)

Especially not the memories. No, I really didn't want her playing back any of my memories.

(Of course. I understand, honey,) Liliss reassured me. (It was only a suggestion, in case you should ever change your mind.)

I nodded, again.

I pulled the covers tight around me. I was aware that Liliss still managed my breathing, but otherwise, I kept complete control of my body. Not that this amounted to doing much. Just laying still and holding the pillow for its life. At least I didn't feel the same level of mental exhaustion that I experienced after I'd been in control for several minutes.

As the moments passed, I began to feel better. I didn't feel completely safe-how could I?-but I felt safer than before.

I closed my eyes, imagining Jake and I playing basketball together. A smile formed around my mouth.

Slowly, I fell back asleep.

Over the next week, I felt like things between myself and Liliss were improving. Certainly, almost anything would have been an improvement over Temrash, but now, I could actually feel like there might be some reason to have hope with my new Yeerk. Sure, I didn't completely trust Liliss, but, by now, I also was pretty sure that she wasn't going to suddenly turn all evil empire Yeerk on me and throw me into a torturous mental memory loop.

Just as important, and maybe more so, there was the fact that I could feel myself improving with using my body. Not that I was anywhere near as good at maintaining control before I'd been infested, but after the first few days of being exhausted after five minutes of control, I could maintain ten minutes at a time. A few days after that, Liliss told me, proudly, that I'd just passed twenty. I could hardly believe it when, by the end of the second week, I'd maintained control over myself for a half an hour.

Sure, I felt ready to pass out, afterwards, and took a three hour mental nap. I woke up in the middle of watching TV with my parents. Jake was probably at Marco's, it being a Friday night.

Remembering my accomplishment, I grinned at my Yeerk. Liliss smiled back at me, her emotions indicating that she was proud of me.

(I knew you could do it, honey,) she praised.

(Thanks.) I grinned again. (Think it will get easier after this? Maybe...I'll manage two hours by the end of a month or so?)

(It's certainly possible,) she enthused. Then, she added, (Not to be a "Debbie Downer", as you would call it, but I would be careful. Push yourself, of course, but not too much.)

It was probably a sign that I was beginning to trust my Yeerk that my mind didn't immediately jump to the idea that this had all been a test to keep me in my place.

Mostly because Liliss made sense. I was proud of going a half an hour in full control, but sleeping for three hours seemed like a high price to pay. What if I managed to get in a full hour or to, but then remained nearly comatose for a day afterwards?

On the other hand...

Liliss voiced this opinion. (I wonder if it's a matter of balance. Certainly, Tom, you don't want to push yourself too much, but I wonder if a lot of it is getting used to it? There's no physical strain on your body, since I've been using it, but there's clearly a mental element to it.)

(Yeah. I kind of hope that you're right. About getting used to using my body again for extended periods, I mean.) I paused. (Maybe, it's like riding a bike after stopping for awhile? You know, we have an expression for that.)

(Yes, I know,) Liliss smiled at me. (And the horse one.)

I snickered. (Not lots of people riding horses, unless they're rich.)

Liliss continued to smile, but her emotions took on a sad tone. (Meg used to love riding.)

(You, um...?) I trailed off.

(In the beginning,) she replied, gently. (Before her eyes went bad.)

Right.

We were quiet for awhile, and Liliss focused my attention on the action movie we were watching with my parents. I was pretty sure it was one of the Mission Impossible ones.

She also fed me popcorn, from the large bowl my mom had made. I assumed it had been her, anyway. Dad could use a microwave for most things, but he always overcooked the popcorn when he tried. This popcorn didn't taste overcooked.

After the movie, Liliss walked me up to my room, but let me get ready for bed on my own. I buried myself under the covers, still thinking about the movie as I drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

As the next couple of weeks passed, I could feel myself becoming used to this life with Liliss, and even not minding it. Sure, I hated Sharing meetings and the Yeerk Pool, but so did she. I was still a little worried about Jake, even though his weird behavior had stopped as suddenly as it had begun. Unfortunately, he was still pretty distant with me. We also hadn't spoken, yet. Even though I was improving, I knew that what I was actually doing when I was in control was pretty basic. Mostly walking and running. I hadn't even thought much about playing basketball, even with Liliss' help, because I'd been scared of what I'd discover. She'd broached the topic of practicing a few times, but I'd always told her I wasn't ready, and she'd let the topic drop.

Easier was talking to Liliss about what else I should or could do when I was in control of my body. We always referred to it as that-my body. It was reassuring to hear her, not just me, call it that. A Yeerk might refer to their host's body as "my host" in front of other Yeerks, or "my host body" in front of higher up Yeerks to make it clear that it was only a body to them. If Temrash had ever referred to my body to me, it was either an entity separate from my mind, or something that I used to have autonomy of, but no longer did. Liliss spoke of my body as a matter of fact. Of course, it belonged to me, but because of the vile government the Yeerks had formed, she had to maintain her cover by living inside my head and controlling it. Plus, there was the matter of me only being able to stay in control for short periods of time.

It felt like she was on my side. More than that, even though I couldn't read her thoughts, it seemed like she took for granted that I was myself. An individual, not a slave, not someone whose sole purpose in life was to be her host-or the host of another Yeerk.

We weren't friends, exactly, but I thought that she felt something for me. Protective, maybe. Anyway, she wanted me to get back to my pre-infestation status almost as much as I did, so even if I didn't completely trust her, I was willing to work with her on that.

Anyway. For now, we'd decided that walking and running made the most sense, now, when I wanted to do anything physical. I could have spent some time reading or watching TV, but that was just sitting there, maybe moving my eyes or shifting my position on the couch. Better to be active, to let my body remember what it was supposed to do. So, after school, Liliss would drive me to that trail, and then let me take over until I needed her back.

I rarely talked to Liliss when I was in control. It was easier, that way. Used less mental energy to ignore Liliss, to pretend that the last several months had only been a nightmare. She respected my wishes, remaining quiet in my head, ready to take over when I inevitably needed her to do so.

I always did.

After the half hour mark at two weeks, I slowed down, but just a little. Three weeks after she'd first infested me, I managed to use my body for a full hour. It was a Friday, and it was only after a walk, and then a run, and then a "cool down" walk that I felt like I would pass out if she didn't take over.

(Liliss?) I prompted, a little more urgently than normal.

Immediately, my Yeerk took over, leaving me with the full "feel" of my senses, but managing my body.

She looked at my watch, then beamed at me. (Tom, that was more than an hour!)

(Really?)

(An hour and four minutes, to be exact,) she answered, with another mental grin.

I returned her smile, more than ready for a nap, but not too tired to feel proud of my latest milestone. (At this rate, I'll be able to use my body for a full day by next month!) I boasted.

(I hope so, honey,) she told me, affectionately. (Sleep well.)

Unfortunately, things slowed down after that. I'd expected to be able to maintain control for at least an hour and fifteen minutes, if not an hour and a half, the next day. Instead, I was ready to pass out after an hour and eight minutes. Which I did, for two and a half hours. I guessed that was better than my monumental three hour nap. The next day, I could manage to be in control for the same amount of time. Liliss claimed I managed an extra thirty seconds, but she was probably just trying to encourage me. Same thing the following day. The day after that? I nearly collapsed after a whopping hour and ten minutes.

It stayed like that for a month. The only thing that kept me from sinking into a depression was that my "recovery time", as Liliss and I termed it, went down. I might only be able to handle an hour and fifteen minutes on my own, but after a month of stagnation, I didn't fall into a heavy mental sleep.

That was something, right?

A month of that, and I finally let my Yeerk give me a mental hug. She'd broached the subject before, along with replaying decent memories, but I hated the idea of her going through my memory or manipulating my emotions. She'd also offered to show me events from her time with her previous host, which I'd flat out refused.

Honestly, I wasn't sure what changed. Maybe, I finally trusted that Liliss wasn't going to do anything to hurt me. Maybe, it was her insistence. Or, plain old curiosity. In any event, exactly two months after she'd entered my head, I was having the worst time falling asleep. I was worried because I hadn't been able to increase the amount of time I could stay in control for during the last three days, and Jake was as distant as ever, and I hadn't recovered even half of my skill level at basketball. I was terrified that I was stagnating with control, that this was as good as it was going to get.

Sure, where I was now was way better than my first day, but I really didn't want to be physically dependent on Liliss or another peaceful Yeerk-were I to be so lucky to get a second one-for the rest of my life.

After tossing and turning for ten minutes straight, worrying the whole time, Liliss spoke up.

(Tom. Honey,) she murmured, her voice sleepy.

Yeah, Yeerks slept. Something I hadn't known before Liliss. Not as much as humans, but they sleep all the same.

(It's not my fault I can't sleep,) I grumbled, as I turned over on my left side.

(I can help,) she offered, gently.

(You know I don't want you rifling through my memories,) I insisted, now switching to my right side.

Liliss didn't take offense to this. Nor had I expected her to.

Anyway.

(It doesn't have to involve your memories, honey,) Liliss answered, gently. (There are a myriad of ways of calming a distraught host.)

I rolled my eyes. (Distraught? Really, Liliss?)

(Yes, really,) she replied, her tone diplomatic. (We both know that you're improving, and your handle on your body is nothing like it was when I first gave you control. You are improving, even if you're concerned that it won't continue. I'm sure, by the way, that it will.)

(I'm sensing a "but" somewhere,) I observed, with another eye roll.

Liliss made a sound between a laugh and a sigh. (Tom, I know how much your old Yeerk hurt you. I also know how afraid you are...of what could and couldn't happen. You are, quite simply, distraught.)

Okay, that was fair enough.

(I know that you just want to help,) I allowed, almost grumpily. I was, after all, tired. (What other ways can you help me sleep? Without going through my memory?)

(Without taking control, I can give you a mental hug,) Liliss explained.

I rolled my eyes for the third time that night. It was just...Liliss had been on about this for weeks, now. I would call it nagging, except I could never associate "nagging" with a Yeerk. They had full control, after all. If anything, I was the nag. The unimportant mind of the body the Yeerk had taken over, powerless, yet still there. Crushed and defeated under a Yeerk's control, sure, but my voice was still present.

Not the Yeerk.

Well, it seemed, Liliss was sort of the exception.

Obviously, I hadn't let her give me this "mental hug", whenever she brought it up. Part of it was pride, but it was more than just that. Honestly, the idea of a slug hugging me inside my mind, even one I kind of liked and sort of trusted, gave me a gross feeling. Even though she was already wrapped around my brain, her body tucked into all of my crevices...

Temrash had given me the detailed explanation, plus mental images, early on. Gave me nightmares for weeks.

(It's not like that, honey,) Liliss murmured. (It's...gentle. Soothing. I've used them on all of my hosts before, and they always enjoyed them. Especially Meg, when she was first...diagnosed.)

She probably-definitely-knew that I would take the reaction of a human being given this treatment over a Gedd or Hork-Bajir. Not that they weren't sentient, but they weren't...human.

Liliss was starting to wear me down.

No, it was just because I was exhausted, unable to sleep, and by now, I didn't really think she'd do anything intentionally to hurt me.

Even so...

(If I'm uncomfortable, you'll stop. Right?) I asked. (You promise?)

(I promise, Tom. I'd never do anything to hurt you intentionally,) my Yeerk reassured me.

I rolled my eyes again, and considered saying no, but if this kept on, I'd probably end up with less then four hours of sleep that night. It being a Thursday, it would mess up my entire weekend.

I nodded, physically, and shut my eyes tightly. (Okay.)

(You should know that there are up to ten levels of mental hugs. Most humans, unless entirely shattered, cannot handle more than a five in the beginning. I'll start with a one, and if you want, and only then, I can increase it. Slowly. If you want me to stop, or remain at a one, I will do either. All right, honey?) she asked.

(Yeah. Okay,) I repeated.

(On the count of three, then,) Liliss murmured. (One, two, three.)

Less than a second after three, I felt a wash of warmth pour over me. It was like a was a small kid again, being held by my dad.

Warmth, just this feeling of warmth, filled me. Inside, outside, all over. More than that, I could actually feel myself being hugged.

By my Yeerk? By Liliss?

It had to be.

I sighed as the warmth continued. Never getting too hot, though. Just...warmth. No, there was more than that. Security. Safety.

Arms around me. Except, it was in my mind instead of around my body.

I was still in control. I felt myself relax, and pulled the blankets closer around my body. I adjusted myself so that I was lying on my right side. I felt extremely comfortable, but beyond that, I felt safe.

Warm.

This must have continued for several minutes. Gradually, my breathing slowed, even though I knew that Liliss hadn't taken control. I felt my mind begin to relax, the way it did in those final seconds before sleep overtook me.

All this time, the warmth and security and comfort followed me.

When I woke up, still in control, still feeling the remnants of the warmth and security and peace, it was morning.

(Okay,) I told Liliss, in lieu of my normal greeting, (of all the ways you Yeerks can manipulate my emotions and my body, that's pretty much the only one I'm totally okay with. You can do that again. Well, when I say you can, anyway.)

I still wanted control, after all. I didn't want to be trapped in a mental hug every minute of the day.

She laughed softly. (And that was the lowest level,) she reminded me, almost teasingly. (If you ever let me give you a three or a four, you'll think a one is nothing.)

I didn't doubt this.

(Without giving me one...can you tell me what it's like?) I asked, almost shyly.

I felt her consider my question as I got myself out of bed and got dressed. By now, I was doing this without any hesitation, let alone problems.

(A three is typically when powerful memories associated with being loved emerge,) Liliss began. (Four intensifies them, and you can feel like you're back within these memories, instead of simply watching them on a TV.)

Which meant, then, that I would have to let Liliss replay some good memories before I let/asked her to intensify mental hugs to that degree.

I still wasn't comfortable letting her replay any of my memories. Which she knew, and respected. I'd known that she'd searched my memory either when I'd napped that first day, or when I'd fallen asleep later, because she'd needed to. As long as I hadn't experienced anything firsthand, I saw it as just another indignity-if a necessary one. I mean, I still couldn't maintain control for long periods, and letting me loose in front of my friends or family would just be asking for trouble. If Liliss didn't have a perfect knowledge of me, she could get us both killed.

She knew everything there was to know about me, but didn't even threaten me with mental torture. Which was more than I could have hoped for with Temrash.

I guessed I was adjusting quickly. Or, my standards for respect had lowered after getting the Yeerk from hell.

Hearing my thoughts, Liliss now comforted me. (I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose, Tom.)

She'd told me this countless times over the past couple of months, but I was only just starting to fully believe it.

If this whole thing was a ruse, well, it might last for years before she went evil Yeerk on me. At this point, I was ready to, if not completely trust her, at least trust that she didn't want to hurt me or my family.

Later that day, I asked her a question that had been on my mind for awhile.

(Liliss?) I asked, as we sat in my History class.

She, of course, was diligently taking notes and looking like a good student.

(Yes, Tom?) she responded, gentle as always.

(I know that I can only go an hour with being in control before I feel like I'm going to pass out, but if, somehow, I get past this slump and can stay in control for long periods of time...what does this mean with us?) I rambled. (I mean, are you going to give me a set amount of time each day and the rest is yours, or...?)

I was sort of glad that she could read my thoughts.

Even though they were a jumble.

Liliss continued to take notes, even had most of her focus on what my teacher was saying, but she was also fully attentive to me.

(There will be times when I need to be in control,) Liliss began, (but they're limited to when we're in the presence of other known Controllers. When you reach the point of being able to use your body without experiencing exhaustion, you can have control whenever you want, outside of those times. And, I am only placing those...restrictions...because few hosts can perfectly imitate their Yeerk in those circumstances, and it would be near suicide to attempt otherwise.) Liliss paused, probably remembering that I had tried to end my life on a few occasions. Before her, obviously. (I...hope that you don't want to kill yourself anymore, honey.)

I considered. If she got reassigned, yeah, I'd probably try to end it. If I got another Yeerk like Temrash.

Especially then. Liliss was decent to me, after all. Going from that to another Temrash?

I couldn't deal. At least, Temrash had broken me. At least, I hadn't known anything but him.

I was pretty sure that Liliss would try to prevent this from happening to me. As much as she could.

If she got reassigned.

(Not anymore,) I allowed.

She gave a mental laugh. (I'm glad. I care about you, and I want to make things easier for you.)

(You have,) I agreed. After a pause, I added, (They're a lot better, now, Liliss.)

She smiled at me. (I know, honey. I'm happy that...)

I gave a mental nod. (Me too.)

We were quiet for a few minutes, and I realized that she hadn't answered my question. Not completely.

(So...with control, basically, when I get to that point, I can use my body whenever I want? Outside of Yeerk controlled areas?) I prompted.

(Yes, honey. It is your body, after all. You know that I would free you, if I could,) she added, almost wistfully.

(Yeah, I know. Anyway, you're not so bad,) I added. (You want to help me, and you're not big on mental torture. Next to Temrash, you're...well, you know.)

Liliss smiled at me. (May I hug you?) she asked, almost tentatively.

I gave her a mental nod. (Just a level one, okay?)

(Of course.)

The hug lasted until the end of that class, which was probably a half an hour. Afterwards, held by my Yeerk, I felt a lot better about my life and my chances of getting it back.

Fully.


	6. Chapter 6

(Tom? Are you ready?) Liliss asked me, softly.

(Nope,) I answered, truthfully.

We were outside in the driveway. It was a Friday afternoon. Jake wasn't home-probably at Marco's-and my parents were out as well. Which meant that no one would be there to see me make a total idiot of myself trying to remember how to play basketball.

Okay, I remembered the rules. It was the whole being out of practice because I-as me-hadn't practiced in nine months that was the problem. Even before Temrash had quit the team, he'd controlled me so tightly when he played that I couldn't feel any part of my body. Super tight control was hard for Yeerks, or harder than regular control, but he did it to make me suffer. I couldn't even pretend that it was me, then.

It had been three months since Liliss first infested me. Two and a half since she'd brought up the topic of me going back on the team, first just with me and then asking the coach directly if we could try out next season.

Next season meant that tryouts would be held in five months.

We hadn't practiced at all. In fact, we hadn't even dribbled the ball in the driveway. Whenever we looked at the hoop on our way inside, I could almost feel myself choke up, because as much as I wanted to play again, I was really, really scared that I wouldn't be able to.

No. That we wouldn't be able to.

Sure, I had a gift, but going nine months without practicing was bound to wreck my skills. At the very least, make them rusty.

At least, I'd passed the two hour mark with staying in control. After almost six weeks of mental exhaustion after an hour and fifteen minutes, I'd finally started to bump up again. Plus, without extended recovery time.

Also, playing basketball, or trying to, couldn't be a whole lot more exertion than running, right?

Physical exertion, anyway.

(You know, honey, I could start,) Liliss offered. (With gentle control.)

That meant that I could jump in whenever I wanted.

Or not, if I was...too chicken.

Yeah. Seeing where Liliss stood, as me, might help. If she was awful, well, I could either kiss playing basketball on the team goodbye for good, or just play with Jake. That was assuming that he would even want to play with me. Despite Liliss' attempts at repairing the damage Temrash had caused, Jake remained almost cold towards her.

I hadn't interacted with Jake since before my infestation. Or my parents.

It felt...too soon.

(Sure. Okay,) I agreed. (That seems like a good starting point.)

Liliss began to dribble the ball in my hands, and I could feel her access my memory-in a non invasive way-to know the right way to do this. I felt the familiar feel of the ball touching my palms as she alternated between my right and left one. One of my skills, before, was that even though I was right handed, I could play almost as well with my left hand. Made it easier to block interference on the court. If your opponent thinks that you're about to aim from one side of your body and you end up shooting or passing from another, it definitely throws them. Distracts them, too. In basketball, every second matters.

I could move, could take over whenever I wanted, but I sat back and let my Yeerk play. I could feel her excitement as she took her first shot. It was hardly a three pointer, but it went into the hoop. She paced around the driveway, still dribbling the ball, as she took a few more shots. All of them went in. Okay, so it was probably the same skill level that Jake had, when he had no competition, but at least she could shoot.

(Liliss? Try a three pointer,) I suggested, after about fifteen minutes of this.

Liliss gave me a mental nod. (All right.)

If I hadn't lived in the same house for most of my life, growing up playing the game, it would have been harder for Liliss to know what constituted a three pointer on our driveway. Basketball courts are marked, after all, so there's less opportunity for, well, semi-cheating. That being said, Liliss knew exactly how far to stand away from the hoop in order to, were the ball to go inside, receive the much longed for three-pointer.

Granted, it was just practice and there was no opposing team, so it would be more complicated than just playing in my driveway.

Still.

She held my breath and took the shot. The ball missed, but only slightly.

I felt more than a little deflated.

(I'll try again,) she offered. (You didn't always make every shot, even before.)

The last part was true, and teasing. In the "lightening the mood" sense, rather than attempting to crush all of my dreams.

I gave Liliss a mental nod. (Yeah, okay.)

I tried not to be too disappointed. Liliss was right, after all. We hadn't played in months, after all. It was only her first attempt.

(Tom, remember that an occasional missed shot doesn't mean you aren't any good anymore,) Liliss reassured me, as she retrieved the ball. (Just out of practice.)

(I know, I know,) I agreed. (Just...try not to miss this time.)

Liliss gave me a mental grin. (I'll do my best.)

The ball made it in the second time. And the third. And the fourth.

We were both grinning after the fourth.

(Okay,) I allowed. (Ready to try my jump shot?)

Liliss nodded-mentally, of course. (Now, remember, it's been awhile, so if it takes some time...)

(I know.)

Really, it would be a lot to expect either of us to be able to make it.

Still...

It took a few attempts, but she made it.

(Okay,) I repeated. (I'm not where I was before, but with enough practice, we can get there. I hope.)

(Do you want to try? On your own?) Liliss nudged me.

(Um...try a few more rounds, first,) I dodged. (I want to get a better feel for it.)

It wasn't a lie, not that I could lie to my Yeerk. More nerves. Plus, an unhealthy fear of playing on my own.

In ninth grade, I had to take Biology, with the rest of the students in my grade. That wouldn't have been so bad, but I got stuck in the class with the worse teacher in the school. Also, as it turned out, I didn't have a talent for Biology. I had to work for my grades.

Add that to the fact that the teacher was senile and should have retired at least five years ago.

I got a C- on my first test. I had actually studied pretty hard for it, and gone in expecting at least a B.

Not a C-.

I ripped up the test as soon as the class ended, not even bothering to pay attention when the senile teacher went over the answers. I might have pretended I was shredding the teacher's face along with the test.

The next few weeks were rough. Harder was doing the reading and studying. It felt like the world was against me. I couldn't even look at my book.

I got an F on the next test.

My parents got a phone call, because a C- was high enough that I could continue playing basketball, but an F was an official warning. A second F and I wouldn't be able to play. Period.

They got me a tutor and I brought my grade up to a B- by the end of the year. The tutor was pretty decent, and he was a teacher at another school district, which had helped.

But, the dread at opening my textbook? At even looking at it?

I felt a little like that right now. As much as I wanted to play on my own, I was terrified that I wouldn't be any good.

Liliss was decent, but I was the former host of Temrash 252/114 who'd broken down in six months.

I had to work for three months just to control my body for two hours.

What if I'd lost my talent for basketball? Or, not lost, exactly, but couldn't reach it? What if, like so much else, Temrash had stolen it from me?

(Take it slowly, honey,) Liliss urged, withdrawing her hold over my body, leaving me standing there.

(Right,) I agreed.

I dribbled the ball, alternating between my right and left hands. I didn't miss, which was encouraging, even though dribbling a basketball was pretty basic. If I couldn't have done that...

As I dribbled, pacing around the driveway, I felt the almost forgotten sense of happiness at being on the court. Well, okay, I wasn't on the court, but I was playing. Sort of. I was handling the ball on my own, at any rate. Without the aid of a Yeerk.

I took a shot, not a three pointer, and definitely not a jump shot, but a shot all the same. I missed by a hair, but I ran after the ball and tried again. It went in. Good.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and continued to practice. I pretended that I wasn't a Controller, I just hadn't played in awhile. I was out of practice and rusty, but I still had the basic skills.

At least, I told myself I did.

Liliss did, anyway, through me. So, they were there, right? Whatever she could do through my body, I should be able to do.

So much for not thinking about my Yeerk.

(Relax,) Liliss murmured. (Try to enjoy this. Playing. Whatever you can't do now, you will build up to.)

Like most of her advice, it made sense. Really, it was all stuff that I would have told myself, had I been stupid enough to quit the team without a Yeerk inside my head. Start slowly, focus on what works, use positive reinforcement.

I'd even given this advice to Jake on several occasions.

I took a deep breath, and tried to follow her/my advice. To just enjoy the whole process, of getting back into the spirit of practicing.

I didn't attempt my jump shot at the end of my practice, but I had managed two back to back three pointers.

Also, I didn't feel exhausted. Even though, glancing at my watch, it had been two and a half hours.

I wouldn't overdo it. Not with basketball. It was almost time for dinner, anyway, and I should shower beforehand. Especially if I didn't want to hear any questions from my parents or Jake about how I was doing with playing.

(They'd be proud, if they knew,) Liliss gently chided me.

(Maybe, but first, they'd think I'd gone crazy if I told them about Yeerks. Which I'm not gonna do, because...you know,) I finished, a little lamely.

(Yes, I know,) she answered, a little more somberly.

(Still. It wasn't a bad first practice,) I allowed, heading upstairs. (Thanks. I mean, for helping me.)

(Any time, Tom,) Liliss assured me.

"You're shooting hoops again?"

I nearly dropped the ball I'd been dribbling. Three and a half months into my...whatever...with Liliss, I could keep control for three hours without wearing myself out.

Honestly, my playing without Liliss in charge, had gone from my infestation level of "that kid has a major gift and could go pro" to "pretty good".

I could make a three pointer at least three out of four times, but my jump shot needed a lot of work.

Liliss was sure that I'd be back at my old level of skill before the next season started. I sure hoped so, because if I didn't improve by then, she'd have to take control at least some of the time.

I'd tried to keep my practicing a secret from Jake and my parents, especially when I was in control, but it looked like the cat was out of the bag, as it were.

Also, just seeing Jake look at me with that disbelief in his face made me want to...something. I wasn't sure what.

No, I knew. Hug him. Not that he'd let me.

(May I?) Liliss asked.

(Sure, go ahead,) I answered, knowing that I wouldn't be able to sound like myself around Jake.

I felt her take loose control, then hug me.

"Yeah, I was going to go out for the team next year," she told Jake, shrugging my shoulders. "I've missed playing more than I thought."

Jake raised his eyebrows. "What about The Sharing?"

"I can do both, Midget," Liliss laughed. "Of course, I might have to skip out on homework. Think my teachers will mind too much?"

Midget laughed and rolled his eyes at me. "Right."

"Look," Liliss added, "I wanted to say that I'm sorry for all those times I nagged you to join. I mean, you went to the barbecue and it wasn't for you. I should have accepted that. I was kind of a jerk, and, well, I'm sorry."

Jake shrugged his shoulders, looking down at the ground. "It's cool that you like it. It's just not for me." He looked up at me. "I guess I'm not big on joining large groups."

Had Temrash been in control, he would have pointed out that there were plenty of smaller group activities in The Sharing. Fortunately, he was long dead.

"Yeah, and that's cool. So, look, I won't bug you anymore. And I'm sorry. We cool?" she asked.

Jake nodded. "Yeah, we're good, Tom. Thanks."

Liliss dribbled the ball. "Want to play? I can show you some of my classic moves. Hey, it could get you on the team next year."

Jake looked at the ball, then at me. "Okay."

They played for a little, me watching intently as Liliss tried to show Jake how to do a three point shot, along with some other fairly basic moves. Occasionally, I took over with the playing, but not too much. My abilities were below Liliss', and Jake would notice if I suddenly got noticeably worse.

Anyway, Jake left about fifteen minutes or so, using the excuse of having a ton of homework. Liliss put an arm around his shoulder and messed up his hair, which resulted in a momentary painful look before he returned to normal.

Evidently, things still weren't right between us.

Liliss and I practiced basketball again the next day, after Liliss and I returned home from her feeding and a Sharing meeting. I'd spent the meeting asleep in my mind, awakening only about five minutes before returning home.

(What happened this time?) I asked, still a little groggy.

Liliss shrugged. (Just a regular meeting with potential associate members and full ones. Visser Three wasn't there, but Sub-visser Eight was.)

(Sounds almost fun, if you don't know about the whole slug invasion,) I quipped.

The thing was, those kinds of meetings usually were. Game nights, barbecues, even community service had a cheerful element to it. We were all happy people, wanting to have fun and make the world a better place. Who could say no to that?

Liliss gave me a mental hug in response. A level two hug.

After dinner, where Dad told a funny story from work, and Jake made this weird comment about how nice everything was and how he hoped nothing ever happened to us (Liliss commented that the tiramisu was making Jake mushy), Liliss took me outside to practice basketball.

We'd finished our homework in study hall earlier, and there was at least two hours of light out.

"You want to play?" Liliss asked Jake, once we'd taken our dishes up to the sink for Mom to wash.

But Jake just shook his head. "I got a lot of homework."

"Since when," Liliss asked, teasingly, "do you choose homework over playing basketball with your favorite brother? Come on, just fifteen minutes."

Jake's face went...I don't know. Dark. Or, at least, distracted.

"Like I said," he answered, almost coldly, "I've got a lot of homework."

(I don't get it,) I complained, as Liliss shrugged and walked my body outside. (We apologized, didn't we? And we haven't been saying anything about The Sharing, except completely in passing. Like, oh yeah, I just had a meeting. I know that Temrash was a total jerk, but Jake used to be a lot more easygoing.)

Liliss gave me a mental shrug. (Well, he's a teenager, now, and maybe he was more hurt than he let on. Give him time. He'll come around.)

As there wasn't a better explanation, and I couldn't think of much else we could do, I figured we'd just have to wait.

Over the next several weeks that followed, everything continued to improve. My hold over my body reached four hours. My basketball skills, while still not where they were pre-Temrash, were heading in that direction. I didn't even need Liliss to start off in control, to ease me into playing. I sometimes went as long as two weeks without having a nightmare. Even when I did, Liliss could ease me back to sleep with a level two or three mental hug, along with talking it out with her. She was a great listener.

I could have been really happy, for the first time in almost two years. I could have accepted that I might still be a Controller, but now, I had a Yeerk who cared about me. Who gave me control, and who wanted the best for me. Not just because it made it easier for her to control me, but because she wanted me to be happy, even if she couldn't give me total freedom. I knew that this wasn't her fault.

The problem, the one thing that kept me from feeling totally at peace, was that I was no closer to Jake. Emotionally, anyway. We'd always been close, and Temrash had ruined things between us. Jake didn't even know about the Yeerks, about what some of them did to their hosts, but he knew enough to stay away from The Sharing. At one point, him staying away from me would have given me hope, because it meant that he was that much less likely to be captured. Now that "I" was no longer going to infest him, I wished I had him back. I missed him. Whatever we did, whatever we said to him, it seemed like there was this wall between us. Or a door, more likely. My kid brother wanted nothing to do with me.

Yeah. Things weren't getting any easier between the two of us.

Even worse, Jake also didn't look like he used to. He'd grown a few inches, but so had I, so I was still about a head taller than him. While I wouldn't say he'd lost weight, and he definitely wasn't underweight, he probably should weigh more. I might have worried more that he'd gone on some diet, especially after those crazy days where he'd eaten everything in the house, or practically. But, he ate breakfast and dinner with the rest of us, and his portions seemed to be normal. If he was skipping lunch...well, I wasn't around to see it.

If my parents were worried, they hadn't said anything to me.

Almost as worrying was the fact that he looked...pale. Not like vampire pale, but...well, I wasn't sure. I had a feeling he wasn't getting enough sleep.

No, I knew he wasn't getting enough sleep, because our rooms were practically right next to each other, and sometimes, I could hear him yelling in his sleep. Nightmares, probably.

Liliss and I had gone in to check on him, one night, but he'd looked so scared and, honestly, embarrassed, that it had been too awkward for all of us. He'd told us he'd had a dream where he was giving a school presentation but didn't have clothes on. Liliss had reassured him it was a typical "coming of age" dream. That he was officially a teenager. But, like I said, he just wanted us to leave his room. To be fair, that's not the kind of dream anyone really wants to talk about, normal as it is.

But, we hadn't gone back since.

Then, everything changed when Aftran joined the Peace Movement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tom's story about his science class is a combination of my real life experience with high school geometry (tough classes plus inept teachers generally result in poor grades, regardless of the effort put in by the student) and college science. I figure that Tom's love of basketball would, similarly, manifest itself as fear of playing after going so long without being able to, and having such a reputation for being skilled at the game. Not a love/hate relationship, but perhaps a love/fear one.
> 
> I know next to nothing about sports, so if my scenes where Tom practices lack any technical correctness, well, all I can say is that I hope I got to the heart of it, and I will certainly never write "sports fiction" as a genre.


	7. Chapter 7

I wasn't completely ignorant about the Peace Movement. After Liliss had been in my head for a couple of weeks, long enough to think she might tell me the truth, I had asked her more about what the Peace Movement was like. Liliss had told me that, when she'd first joined, there were only twenty other members. All of them had hosts, but having a host wasn't a requirement for joining. In fact, it might even be better if you didn't have one, because it meant you took your beliefs seriously.

Not that all of the others had Hork-Bajir or humans. A couple of them had Gedds. I'd seen Gedds before, but never in cages at the Yeerk Pool. Temrash had told me that, aside from Yeerks, they were the most advanced life forms on the Yeerk home world. Not that this said much about their intelligence. As long as a Yeerk didn't intentionally hurt a Gedd's mind, Gedds were basically voluntary by default. He'd sort of laughed, darkly, when he told me this, so I'd gotten the idea that he'd been purposefully cruel to his Gedd host. Which was pretty typical of Temrash.

Anyway. About half of the other Yeerks in the Peace Movement had Taxxons as hosts. Two did have Hork-Bajir. And the rest had humans who either started out voluntary, or became that way over time.

I remembered thinking that the Peace Movement didn't have much of a shot at taking down the empire, with twenty something members.

Liliss, having heard my thoughts, hadn't taken offense.

(Well, Tom, there are probably far more Yeerks with our views than who are in the Movement,) Liliss had told me.

(Then, why aren't they with you guys? No offense, but twenty Yeerks is basically nothing,) I'd complained.

(Well, there's the ever present fear of being caught, and executed. Then, there's the fact that it's difficult to join. We don't exactly send out invitations with our meeting time on them,) Liliss had reminded me, gently. (You have to know someone who's already in the Peace Movement, and you have to...humans would call it "vetting". No matter what your views are about involuntary hosts, if you don't know someone in the Peace Movement and you aren't willing to risk your life to try to find someone, it will be very difficult to join.)

That did make sense. (And as the Movement grows, the Yeerks who are interested will have a better chance of knowing a Yeerk who's already there?)

(In theory,) Liliss had explained. (It's a small but growing movement.)

Which made me realize how lucky I had been to be assigned to someone in the Peace Movement. Although, maybe, a Peace Movement sympathizer would have treated me okay.

Hard to treat me worse than Temrash, and given that I was broken, I figured that most empire Yeerks wouldn't bother. They'd mostly just ignore me, leave me to myself and wishing for death.

Things were a lot better, now. I was glad that I hadn't been able to kill myself those handful of times.

When, a little over seven months after she'd infested me, Liliss announced that a Yeerk named Aftran had joined, it had been a passing comment. The Peace Movement was now at fifty members, and the fiftieth was a Yeerk named Aftran 942 of the Hett Simplatt Pool.

(She's younger then you, right?) I asked Liliss.

We were back in my car, and she'd given me full control back. Even then, we still communicated mind to mind. Way safer that way.

(Yes. The Yeerks of the Sulp Niar Pool were the first ones to be spawned outside of the home world,) Liliss explained. (Not all of us were born at the same time. I was born after the Hork-Bajir were nearly eliminated by the Quantum Virus, so you could saw I was near the end of that generation. In human years, I'm twenty-three.)

I hadn't asked her age, but, of course, Liliss must have known that I would wonder.

(And the Hett Simplatt Pool?) I pressed.

(They began immediately after the Sulp Niar Pool. Well, there was a slight overlap, but that ended up being atypical. It was the first one to be built on the Hork-Bajir home world. It spanned about five years, which became a typical length of time for breeding Yeerks,) Liliss replied. (That means that Aftran would be between fifteen and twenty-five, in human years.)

Yeerk years, I knew, were way longer than human ones.

I nodded, following the math. Not that it was very hard. (How old are you when you get your first host?)

(I was five, but that was fairly late,) Liliss began. (Since most of the Hork-Bajir had died from the Quantum Virus, there were far fewer to infest. Not that I started out with one, but it meant that Yeerks with Gedds were less likely to be promoted. We also hadn't encountered the Taxxon home world. I imagine that Aftran would have received her first host during the first or second year of her life. Yeerks develop more quickly than humans, as do Hork-Bajir and Gedds,) Liliss added.

(Yeah, I know. We're slow,) I teased her. (So, you spoke to her?)

(No, not yet. I just know that she joined,) Liliss admitted. (She's meeting the other Yeerks in the movement as they feed, so there's more time for her to get to know everyone, and us to get to know her. I might not have a chance to speak to her for a few weeks. There's been talk of coordinating our schedules so we feed at the same time, or at two times, but Oliss and Arklam think this would be too dangerous, especially if word of our movement reached Yeerks like Visser Three. Anyway, most Yeerks don't follow a standard feeding schedule anyway.) Liliss shrugged. (I'd like it to be more standardized, but I understand the concerns.)

(Yeah, makes sense,) I answered. (You looking forward to meeting her?)

Liliss gave a sort of nod and shrug. (As much as any new Yeerk who joins. I don't know anything about her, aside from her name and the pool she's from. I will be happy to learn more about her, of course.)

(You've met everyone who's joined so far?) I guessed.

We didn't talk about the other Yeerks in the Peace Movement, much. It wasn't a taboo subject or anything, just wasn't that interesting to me. Still. Aftran, or any Yeerk, being the fiftieth to join was kind of a milestone.

(Yes. Not that it was difficult, in the beginning. There were twenty before me, and this will be the twenty-ninth person to join after me. I'm now considered one of the early members,) Liliss laughed.

(If it keeps growing, you could be considered one of the founders,) I teased.

(Yes, exactly. We'll create our own new ranking system,) she teased back. (The Peaceiarchy.)

I groaned at the pun. (Just don't use the term "Pisser", okay? Do Peacer, or something.)

Liliss giggled. (You know that when the Yeerks wanted to track down the Andalite Bandits by destroying the trees in the wooded area they were likely to reside, they called it the Dapsen Logging Company?)

(Yeah, but I thought you'd want to rise about Visser Three's behavior,) I laughed. (That was when one of the Andalite Bandits sprayed him as a skunk, right?)

(Yes,) Liliss laughed. (I'm glad we weren't around him. The smell was pungent, from what others have said.)

(We got a whiff of it from Midget's dog. Remember, he got sprayed by one a few days later? Jake banned him from the house until it faded,) I recalled.

(I remember. The ban might have only been three days, had we been able to wrangle him into that tomato juice bath,) Liliss smiled. (That was truly a lost cause.)

(Yeah, he might as well have been a cat, the way he ran from that bath. Even growling at us.) After snickering in my mind, I added, very unconvincingly, (Poor guy. But, really, you'd have thought he would have learned to avoid skunks. Or, at least, not chase them.)

Liliss just shrugged and smiled at me in reply.

I think we both expected to go at least a week before Liliss ended up meeting Aftran, but she was waiting to talk the next time Liliss fed. While I waited in my cage, looking defeated and miserable-while, really, I was just bored-Liliss learned all about Aftran's past.

Once my Yeerk reinfested me, I could tell that something was off. Well, not off, but definitely on her mind.

(Liliss? You okay?) I asked, as she walked me away from the pool. Away from the screams.

(Let's take a walk on that path you enjoy,) she answered, almost distractedly. (I have some important news to tell you. About Aftran.)

(Okay.) I felt bewildered by her response, but at least, she hadn't told me about a reassignment. (I can have control then, right?)

(Of course you can, honey.) She gave me a level 1 mental hug, which definitely settled my emotions. (I promise.)

She drove my car in silence, and I could tell she was distracted. Maybe even worried. About what? Aftran's role in the Peace Movement? She didn't say, and I might have pushed, had I not known she would tell me in ten minutes.

Well, fifteen, as it turned out. The roads were pretty busy, and we seemed to get all red lights.

Finally, though, she arrived at my favorite trail, and parked the car in the makeshift lot. She unbuckled my seat belt and got out, locking the door behind us, before giving me full control.

I started to walk.

Liliss was quiet for a few minutes, maybe lost in her own thoughts, maybe figuring out what she wanted to tell me. Since I had control, I wasn't too worried.

Like I said, it didn't sound like she was going to be reassigned, and I'd end up with another Yeerk like Temrash.

(Aftran met the Andalite Bandits,) Liliss finally began. (Her host was a small girl, about six in human years. Involuntary. She'd signed up for the position after a few years of combat and guard work as a Hork-Bajir, and she'd offered to infest the human child.)

I shuddered. I knew the empire took kids, even though I couldn't imagine what kind of evil went through a Yeerk's mind to agree to infest someone who probably couldn't even ride a bike without training wheels. Aftran had actually volunteered for this job? I already didn't like her.

(When the Andalite Bandits attacked two weeks ago, they killed one of Aftran's brothers, who had infested a Hork-Bajir. One of the guards. She wanted to kill the Andalite who had personally killed him, so she began following her,) Liliss continued.

(I thought Andalites don't usually let their women fight in the military,) I remembered.

(Not usually, no,) Liliss agreed, but her tone suggested that this wasn't important, or not to the story, so I just gave her a mental nod.

(She figured out where they were living?) I wondered. (Did she bring anyone with her?)

(No, she just stole a Dracon beam. Aftran had experience with combat as a Hork-Bajir, so, perhaps, she thought that this would help. Rather foolhardy behavior,) Liliss observed.

(Yeah. I mean, a Yeerk infesting a six year old with one weapon versus a group of Andalites who have been kicking Visser Three's butt for the last year. I wonder who will have the edge,) I deadpanned, grinning.

Liliss snickered. (She came across one Andalite...except it was a human child.)

(In morph, then,) I assumed. (Did the Andalite morph back?)

(Not exactly...They were both lost at this point, and Aftran's weapon went missing. There was also a leopard on the hunt, who the Andalite saved Aftran from. Aftran mentioned that she saved the Andalite from drowning, so she told the Andalite that they had each saved each other's life and neither owed each other anything anymore,) Liliss recalled.

(Was Aftran still pretending to be a human, or did she lay her cards down?) I asked.

(It would have been smarter to pretend to be human,) Liliss acknowledged, with a smile, (but Aftran went, as you would say, "full Yeerk" on the Andalite bandit.)

I stopped walking. (I'm surprised she didn't kill her.)

Liliss shrugged. (They found shelter and the Andalite tried to feed her. Aftran's host's leg was also injured, so the Andalite tried to take care of her. She asked Aftran a lot of questions, but Aftran mostly refused to answer them. Somehow, they ended up becoming friends.)

(You're kidding.)

Well, the whole thing was pretty far fetched, but still.

(Another Andalite bandit arrived, and wanted to kill Aftran, but the first one refused. She protected Aftran's host by forcing Aftran into her own head,) Liliss began, then stopped.

Probably waiting for my reaction.

(She did WHAT?) I yelled.

There was only one Andalite Controller in the galaxy. No one was entirely sure how Visser Three had managed it, but Alloran sure hadn't gone up to Visser Three and said, (Of course, Yeerk, you may have and control my body.)

(Aftran then learned that the Andalite Bandits consisted entirely of five human children and one Andalite who was, by Andalite rules, not old enough for combat, but fighting all the same,) Liliss continued.

There had been rumors that at least one of the Andalite Bandits were human. Liliss and I weren't sure if we believed them. It made a little sense, sometimes, because they had a better knowledge of human animals and the area than Andalites would have. If at least one human was working with the Andalite Bandits, they would have information a band of Andalites who had survived a crash landing wouldn't have been privy to.

But human kids? Liliss was pulling my leg.

(You're joking,) I told her, flatly. (No way human kids could do all of that.)

(I was just as surprised as you were, Tom,) Liliss insisted, her voice soft. (But Aftran didn't just tell me. We used palp to palp communication, and she showed me these memories.)

I shrugged, then began jogging. (Wow. Okay. Human kids who somehow got the power to morph. Okay, um, I want to ask how...I mean, what with Seerow's Kindness and all. Did they find the technology after his ship exploded?)

(He gave the technology to them, moments before he died. He wanted humanity to have a fighting chance, and he encountered five kids in his last moments,) Liliss explained. (He must have thought the circumstance warranted a breaking of Seerow's Kindness.)

(Yeah, well, he wasn't wrong, but kids? Man, they're going to have nightmares for life,) I mused. (So, Aftran's still alive...what happened after she infested the Andalite?)

(She made a deal with the Andalite, who was a female human child, to trap herself as a human caterpillar if she would return to the Yeerk Pool and free her child host. She kept her word,) Liliss told me. (Her host's family was extremely wealthy and connected, and she told the child how to get out of the Yeerk Pool without a Yeerk. She also briefly left her host to explain the situation to the child's parents. As far as Aftran knows, the human and her family are living in another state, using only human cash, where they plan to reside for as long as possible.)

(I guess that's as good a plan as any,) I agreed. (I'm surprised that the human child went through with it. Stinks that she'll have to live out the rest of her life as a caterpillar, though.)

A high price for another kid's freedom. But, I guessed, it was her choice to make.

Anyway, Aftran could have reported them all and gained a huge promotion. The human kid would have been infested, then. There was no way she was getting out of there unharmed.

(Yes,) Liliss agreed, quietly. (A very high price.)

I figured that was the end of the story. Not a happy one for the Andalite, but definitely for the kid.

(Tom, honey, there's something else I need to tell you,) she murmured.

(You're getting reassigned?) I asked, panic in my voice.

We'd prepared for this, kind of. If it took place after I turned eighteen. 

I was still months away from turning eighteen.

If I disappeared, I wouldn't just be a missing host or a missing son. The second would be awful, but if the war ever ended, I could explain it to my parents. No, if I went missing before I turned eighteen, I'd be a missing minor.

The chances of being caught, of being infested again, would be a lot higher.

Liliss had promised to avoid getting a promotion, but you couldn't always prevent being reassigned.

(No, no, nothing to do with that!) she reassured me, pulling me into a mental hug. Level two, I knew. (I promise. I'll be your Yeerk for...well, however long this lasts.)

(Okay. Okay.) I felt a little better. Slowing my pace to a quick walk, feeling less panicked, I added, (What's the rest, then?)

(Um...your brother is the leader of the so-called Andalite bandits?) Liliss tried to laugh. Failed. (They call themselves Animorphs.)

I froze in my place. (You're joking.)

(Oh, honey. I wish that was the case,) Liliss sighed. (Jake, his best friend Marco, your cousin Rachel, and their friends, Cassie and Tobias. The Andalite is Elfangor's little brother.)

I sat down, covering my face with my hands. (Wow. Then, thank God he never joined The Sharing.)

(Yes,) Liliss murmured. (I know.)

We didn't speak for awhile. I stood up, and began to run. As I focused my efforts on speed, on endurance, I went through everything in my head.

The Andalite bandits were human. Jake was the leader. He'd been fighting them for a year. With some level of success. I mean, they had destroyed a Kandrona, resulting in the loss of thousands of Yeerks. They'd even managed to destroy the clinic, which not only killed dozens, maybe hundreds, of Yeerks, but they'd prevented our governor (now well on his way to running for presidency) from getting infested. They'd probably killed hundreds, maybe thousands, of Controllers.

For a bunch of kids, they were totally kicking butt.

Midget. My fourteen year old brother. The one who, until the last year, looked up to me like I was some kind of deity. Who'd tried out for the basketball team and had been crushed not to make it-and stupid Temrash had made things worse by telling him sports were no big deal, and I'd quit.

Then, another flash of realization dawned on me. Jake knew about The Sharing. Which meant, he'd known about me. Why hadn't he tried to save me? Sure, I liked Liliss now, but he wouldn't have known that. He killed Controllers, destroyed Kandronas, but he couldn't save his own brother?

Did he hate me that much for quitting the team?

(He tried to save you, Tom. When they first invaded the pool,) Liliss reminded me, softly.

I remembered that. I'd gone up against Visser Three on my own. No weapons, just my hands. He'd morphed some sicko creature from hell that had multiple heads and threw fireballs, and I'd gone up against him, allowing Jake to escape.

(You saved his life,) Liliss soothed. (As well as the lives of countless others in the pool.)

(He didn't come back. He didn't save me. He knew I was a prisoner in my head, and he didn't do anything else to help me,) I complained.

Like I said, I wasn't really a prisoner to Liliss. Probably, if it had been her instead of Temrash, I would have gone voluntary. I knew that she never would have tried to get Jake to join The Sharing. Plus, I wouldn't have been broken when she entered my mind. I would have been myself...

(Tom, you saw what happened when they destroyed the Kandrona and some of the humans' Yeerks died. They were killed. Immediately. Jake must have seen that, and realized that if your Yeerk died, so would you.) Liliss let that sink in for a minute. (He must have believed that the only way to save you and keep you free was to keep fighting until the Andalites returned.)

(Or the Peace Movement takes over,) I added, feeling better.

Well, kind of.

What Liliss said, it made sense. I hated to think of Jake hating me enough to keep me a slave in my head, but if he knew what would have happened had he freed me...

Anyway, it was kind of a good thing he hadn't tried. At least, after Liliss infested me. I didn't want her to die, and if they kidnapped me and starved her out, not only would she have died in the most painful way possible, I might end up killed or infested less then a day later.

It was a war. War was about making those kinds of decisions. Jake had tried to free me that night a the pool. I'd chosen to save his life, instead. Even though I hadn't known it was him.

We were both alive, now. I wasn't broken. Not anymore. Liliss was good to me. I trusted her. As far as things went with me, this was as good as it was going to get, until the war ended.

I should be grateful-and I was grateful. To Liliss, and really, even to Jake for not doing something stupid and getting us both killed.

Yeah. He'd been making the right decisions.

(Knowing what we do, I think it's time to talk to him,) I told my Yeerk. (He already knows I'm infested. He should know we're on his side. Maybe, we can help. With information, and with support.)

I had a feeling he could use a lot of support. I'd seen what he looked like, but it had to be taking a bigger toll on him, emotionally. I was his big brother. I might not be able to protect him from the war, but I could be there for him when he came home from battles. I could listen to him, give him hugs, let him cry on my shoulder, if he needed.

(Yes, we should do that,) Liliss agreed. (We just need to figure out the best way to make it safe for everyone.)

In the end, we decided to corner him when our parents would be gone for an extended period of time. That wouldn't be hard. They sometimes went out to eat, or play tennis or something.

It would also have to be after Liliss fed. Because I didn't like the idea of having a time limit where she would be due back at the pool within a few hours. Or even the following day. We needed as much time as possible. Just in case.

That left both what to say, and how to say it.

Not that either would be at all difficult. Of course.

(What if I carried you in a glass and said something like, "Jake, I've been a Controller this whole time, which you know. Here's my Yeerk. Let's talk."?) I asked, as we relaxed in my bed after finishing my homework.

(What if you don't get that far and he thinks it's a Yeerk intended for him?) Liliss pointed out. (That could get me killed immediately, and you later. At best.)

(Yeah. Okay. So, should he see you leave my head?) I wondered.

Liliss considered. (There's no other way to prove that you're speaking on your own without him seeing a Yeerk leave your head.)

(He could still try to kill you, though.)

(Not if we warn him before.)

(Still risky.)

Liliss laughed. (What isn't, honey?)

(Okay. Since he probably won't agree to being in the same room with me for any longer than possible, what do we do? Get a bat and knock him out, then tie him up?) I asked.

I sure wasn't in favor of this solution. I'd given Jake noogies on occasion, but nothing worse. By big brother standards, that was nothing. I knew-some of my classmates actually enjoyed beating up on their younger brothers.

Jerks.

(The best way may simply be to corner him, and then I'll leave your head before he can do much.) Liliss laughed. (Once he sees me leave your head, Tom, he'll probably be too shocked to move.)

(And then, I'll scoop you into a glass of water, and explain everything. Which amounts to that you were assigned to me after my first Yeerk, and you're in the Peace Movement and aren't horrible to me,) I determined.

Liliss, knowing that I'd give Jake a more flattering evaluation of her than that, gave me a mental nod. (If it comes down to it, would you let him...verify the facts?)

(Huh?)

Liliss sighed. (Acquire me, and infest you.)

Oh.

I wasn't sure. Well, no, I really didn't want any person or Yeerk in my head aside from Liliss, but yeah, if it came down to being infested to make sure I wasn't lying or being manipulated, Jake would probably be the best option.

I mean, I sure didn't want a near stranger in my head, and as for Rachel? No thanks. I was a human teenager, and while I hadn't thought about her the way I had about Lisa (the girl I'd joined The Sharing for), she'd never let me hear the end of it.

Even if she didn't say anything...yeah, no.

Jake was my kid brother, so that presented another level of awkwardness, but better the kid brother I loved to death than my female cousin or two of Midget's friends I wasn't close with. Or worse, an Andalite.

(Yeah. If it came down to that,) I sighed.

Liliss and I both really hoped that it wouldn't, but, well, better be prepared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things just got real. I don't know if they'll tell Jake in the next chapter or so, but it will be soon. Be warned: lots of hugging will occur.


	8. Chapter 8

I'd expected to have to wait at least a month for everything to work out according to our plan. Instead, surprisingly, everything fell into place the very next weekend. On Thursday night, just after Liliss and I returned home from a trip to the Yeerk Pool, my parents had announced that they were going to be away visiting friends for at least that day, and possibly overnight. Oh, and I found that that Jake was grounded for the weekend. Apparently, he'd failed another math test. To add even more insult to injury, Mom and Dad had tasked him with cleaning out the garage.

As it happened, I didn't have any Sharing meeting that weekend.

Now, it was Saturday, just an hour or so before Mom and Dad were about to leave for their trip. We were eating breakfast together, which wasn't exactly normal for a weekend, but wasn't totally abnormal, either.

"Hey, Jake? I'll help you with the garage. If you want," I told Jake as we ate breakfast.

Mom had made silver dollar pancakes, which we all drenched in maple syrup before eating. I had a stack of at six on my plate. Jake had a couple on his, but was doing more picking at them than eating.

Glancing up at them, Jake gave me his best "trying to be polite but was in a serious bad mood but didn't want to add to his grounding sentence" face.

At least, I thought it was that.

"Uh, sure. Thanks, Tom," he answered, evenly. Then, he added, "No Sharing today?"

"Nope, and I finished my homework last night. So, it's either help out my little brother or shoot hoops for the rest of the day," I grinned.

"Well, don't do all the work for him," Dad cautioned me. "Jake has to learn there are consequences to failing in school."

Ouch.

"The sooner we get it finished, the more time Jake can study, which would help him get a better grade on the next test," I pointed out, with a grin.

Tom: 1. Parents: 0.

Mom returned my smile, and Dad just nodded, unable to refute my logic.

"I'll be inspecting the garage tomorrow night," he promised.

Jake just nodded in response. In all fairness, he'd just taken a bite out of one of the pancakes, and Mom and Dad weren't crazy about us talking with our mouth full.

Mom more than Dad.

Once they were out of the house, Jake gave me a wary look. "You don't need to help me, Tom. You probably have better things to do than helping with chores."

"Like I said earlier, I don't." I gave him a smile, then shrugged. "Anyway, isn't that what big brothers are for? 'Sides, if they really want your grades to go up, they shouldn't be loading you up with manual labor. It's not like you failed gym class. That would make sense. Kinda."

"It was just a stupid pop quiz," he grumbled. "I didn't know that Mom was going to find it in my bag."

"She went looking through your bag?" I asked.

Mom was hardly the type to snoop.

"It fell out when I was getting my History book. Face up. I didn't put it back fast enough," Jake explained, sheepishly.

That was a little better.

"A word to the wise: unless you need to get something like that signed, destroy the evidence at school," I told him, giving him a little nudge in the ribs.

Jake raised his hands in surrender, moving a few steps away from me.

As much as I tried not to let it hurt me, it did.

"Yeah. Well, I'll know for next time," Jake sighed. "Which, hopefully, there won't be."

I shrugged, again, faking nonchalance. "Hey. They were too hard on you. Besides, a failed pop quiz in junior high isn't going to destroy your chances of getting into a good college, if that's what you want. Heck, it wouldn't even do that in high school. Trust me, I know."

Granted, I was in my junior year, and Liliss was helping me keep my grades up, but I didn't get an A on everything.

Especially when the classes weren't taught by Controllers.

"Yeah, I know. Thanks." Jake looked at me, gave me a small smile. "Um. I guess we should start tackling the garage now?"

"Might as well, before it gets too hot out." I winced. "Although, with the doors open, it shouldn't be too bad."

Really, even waiting until the middle of the day probably wouldn't have been horrible, but a not so small part of me wanted to put off telling Jake everything. Besides, maybe we could bond a little, doing manual labor for a few hours in the morning. Then, once we decided that it was time for lunch, we could handle telling him the news.

Or, maybe we were just procrastinating out of the enormity of it all.

Either way, I knew that the garage was a two person job (or, if you wanted to get technical, two people and one Yeerk), and if Mom and Dad came back and it wasn't looking better, Jake could forget about having a social life for at least a month.

"Cleaning out the garage" consisted of a lot of organizing as well as vacuuming and mopping. Mopping because Mom had specifically requested it, even though it wasn't like we were going to sit down there in bare feet. Since Midget didn't even have his permit, let alone his license, I moved the cars to the driveway.

We worked in silence for the first hour or so. To be honest, I wasn't sure if it was a strained silence or if we were just working too hard to bother with chit chat.

I did find a baseball bat from when Jake had tried out for Little League. He must have been around nine. From what I recalled, Marco had wanted to join, so he'd tagged along.

Neither of them were very good, based on the one game I'd gone to, and they left after the first season.

I also found some old stuffed animals, including an oversized teddy bear, that Mom must have gotten to take to Goodwill, or Salvation Army, or one of those other places that gave stuff to the less fortunate.

"We should give these to Mom," I spoke up, holding up the bear, and gesturing to the other stuffed animals.

Jake started, then glanced over at me. "What?"

"She was going to give them to some charity over a year ago," I explained. "They've been sitting here since. All squished together. Unable to breathe," I added, jokingly.

Jake walked over to the box, a strange look coming over his face. "Oh. Right."

"I'll let her know. When they get back. Unless you want to hold onto them?" I asked, my voice more gentle than usual.

Jake crossed his arms against his chest, just for a moment. "I'm way too old for stuffed animals, Tom."

Especially since you can turn into a real one, I thought.

Yeah. Not the opening I was going for.

I felt Liliss' presence in my mind, fairly quiet up until now. Her concern for me, but also for Jake.

"I know that, Midget," I conceded. "I meant, if you ever have kids. Hell, I might want to go through the box and see if there's anything worth saving for the next generation."

Jake nodded, then gave me a smile that even I could tell wasn't sincere. "Right. Maybe." He looked around at the garage. "Not now, though."

I put a hand on his shoulder. "Sure. Chores come first."

Another forced laugh, and Jake backed away as soon as he could. "Yeah."

It hurt. But, at least, I knew why it hurt. I also hoped that it would stop hurting, soon.

I hoped.

More working, cleaning, lifting and moving boxes. By the time 12:00 came around, I was beat. Jake looked pretty tired, too.

(Maybe we should wait until this evening?) I offered. (I think we could both use naps after this.)

Liliss gave me a mental nod. (If I'd known it would be so much work, I would have suggested telling Jake before you two started.)

(Then, we'd have gotten no work done.)

Liliss gave me a mental shrug.

At least, I'd done all of this work on my own. She hadn't needed to take control, and I hadn't even thought to ask her. No doubt about it, my mind and body were at least where it had been before Temrash enslaved me.

Jake was staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

He shrugged. "You had this weird grin on your face."

"You saying my face is weird?" I teased.

"No, just your grin."

I had him in a headlock, then, but before I could start attacking him with noogies, he was shaking. Like, full out shaking.

"L-let go!" he managed to cry out.

Immediately, I did. Gave him a once over. Yeah, he looked panicked. Still shaking.

"Hey," I murmured, putting an arm around his shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze. "It's okay, Midget. I was just teasing."

Jake took a few deep breaths, forced a smile, but anyone could tell it wasn't sincere. "Yeah. Sorry."

I glanced around at the garage. We probably had another hour or so before it would be finished.

We could do it tomorrow.

"Come on, let's head inside. I don't know about you, but I feel like there's dirt and sweat everywhere, and I'm beat. How about we have lunch, and then finish the rest of this tomorrow?" I offered.

"Okay," Jake agreed, his voice still smaller than usual.

"You go first. I'll fix lunch for us," I added, softly. "Sound good?"

He nodded. "Thanks for helping me out. We got a lot done, Tom."

"Yeah, well. I'm taller, and a lot stronger than you," I teased. "Probably did at least twice as much work as you."

"Maybe," Jake agreed, barely managing to hide a yawn.

I didn't bother to hide mine. "After we eat, I'm going to take a really long nap."

"That sounds pretty good," Jake agreed, a little wistfully. "I still have a ton of homework."

"Do it later," I suggested. "I'll help, and you'll be able to focus if you're not falling asleep on your desk."

Jake seemed to consider this. "You're probably right."

Resisting the urge to hug my kid brother, we headed inside. Moments later, I could hear the shower running as I prepared a large plate of grilled cheese sandwiches. I knew that Jake loved them, and they wouldn't get too cold if they had to stay out for ten minutes. Especially since I could just reheat them.

As it turned out, Jake came downstairs as I was putting them on a plate.

"Cool, just in time. Help yourself. I'll be back in a few," I told him, grinning.

If I wasn't so dirty-minus my hands, obviously-I would have put an arm on Jake's shoulder or something.

"They look great." Jake sat down at the table and grabbed one.

"Take as many as you want. I already had one, and I can make more." I gave him a little poke. "You need to eat more, or you won't just end up a midget, you'll be a super skinny one. Like, your ribs will be showing."

Jake rolled his eyes, but added another two sandwiches to his plate.

Less than fifteen minutes later, I was back, and half of the sandwiches were gone. I grinned at him.

"Good?" I asked.

Jake nodded, taking a bite of one of the ones on his plate. "I missed these."

I tousled his hair. "Okay, okay. I promise I'll make them more often in the future."

He smoothed his hair back with one hand and gave me his best withering stare. "Do you have to do that?" he practically whined.

I grabbed a sandwich from the plate and sat down. "Yeah, if I'm going to feed you. Besides, it's the little brother tax."

Jake rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine."

We ate in silence. It wasn't exactly strained, but it wasn't an easy silence, either. Of course, I knew that this was because Jake knew that I was a Controller. Probably couldn't look at me without imagining an oversized slug in my head, wrapped around my brain, controlling my every move.

No matter what I did, until Liliss came out of my ear and I could explain everything, there would be no making this right.

I almost considered asking her to come of my head out right then, but I was pretty spent from the manual labor, and Jake must have been as well. Maybe I was procrastinating, but I didn't think being exhausted was conducive to a likely very emotional talk between myself and my kid brother.

(We can wait a few hours,) Liliss reassured me. (Your parents are unlikely to be back until late tonight, at the earliest. And you know how your dad hates driving at night.)

That was true enough. Dad, being a doctor, had seen how many people got into car accidents after dark. He'd given me a talk-which had been more of a lecture-about the dangers of driving fast at night, about not having my lights on, about being too tired to pay attention.

He'd known it was unlikely that he'd be able to tell a newly minted teenage driver that he couldn't drive at night, especially with my curfew already at 10 on weeknights and midnight on weekends, but he could try to put the fear of driving at night into me. At least, enough so I'd be cautious.

(Yeah,) I agreed.

We finished our food, and I took our plates up to the sink and rinsed them off before putting them into the half filled dishwasher. Then, I yawned.

"I'm going to take a nap. We've done enough for today. I figure another hour or so tomorrow will finish the garage," I told Jake, who nodded.

"Think I'm going to shut my eyes for awhile, too," he told me.

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, Grandpa."

"What?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Shut your eyes sounds like something he'd say."

Jake laughed. "Oh. Yeah, I guess."

We each walked up the stairs to our separate rooms, and I pretty much flopped myself on the bed before realizing I had little energy to do anything else. I felt Liliss take over to tuck me in under the covers and give me a mental hug.

(Thanks,) I mumbled.

(You're welcome, honey,) she murmured, keeping her voice low. (Sleep well.)

I woke up a few hours later feeling a lot more refreshed. One of the advantages to Liliss, especially over Temrash, was that unless I had a nightmare, I usually woke up from a night's sleep or a long nap feeling a lot better than I had before. Not always the case with mental naps, but when I could actually lay my body down and sleep for awhile, I really felt revived. More so than before I'd become infested.

(That's because you feel safer than you had before,) Liliss had explained, once. (You know that I'm there to take control if you need me to, but you also know that I would never do anything to hurt you intentionally. This is very restorative, Tom.)

(Okay, but what about before I'd been infested?) I'd asked her.

(You still had stress in your life. Perhaps not to the same extent, but you worried about school, about making enough shots in practice or the next game, and about your social status,) had been her response.

It had been hard to believe that I could have lost sleep over such petty things, but you don't think of being taken over by an alien as something to worry about when you're a teenager.

Anyway, it kind of made sense. I more or less had my life back, now, but Liliss was there to help me when I needed her.

Right now, I definitely needed her to help me talk to Jake. The problem would be when she left my head. I knew that I wasn't going to blame Jake for my enslavement, but he probably blamed himself. More importantly, even without Liliss in my head, he might have a hard time trusting me.

Not to mention the other Animorphs.

After I'd convinced him that I was more or less myself, and definitely an ally, there would be a lot of hugging.

A LOT of hugging.

(Okay,) I told Liliss, (you ready?)

She gave me a mental nod. (We can do this, honey.)

I headed downstairs and filled a glass of water about halfway, then made my way upstairs to Jake's room.

His door was closed, so I gave it a light knock. If he was awake, he'd hear it. If not, it probably wouldn't wake him up.

There was a silence, and I was about to head back to my room and finish my math homework when I heard shuffling.

"One sec!" called Midget.

About ten seconds later, I heard the door unlock, then open.

I frowned to myself. Jake had locked his door? He was that scared of me?

Well, probably, yeah. Our parents were out, and maybe he was afraid I would try to infest him. Either in his sleep, or drag him to the Yeerk Pool.

I immediately arranged my features into a typical bored big brother expression as he opened the door completely, then stood blocking the entrance.

"Hey." I grinned. "Just wanted to see if you were up."

Jake rolled his eyes at me, which I sort of deserved. "Yeah. I'm up."

"Cool. Want some help on your homework or anything? I could go over your math quiz. That is, assuming you still have it," I offered.

Okay, I was putting it off, but at least Jake would have his guard down a little.

Maybe.

Jake stared at me for a few seconds, then shrugged.

"Yeah, okay. I have my everything in my room, if you don't mind working up here," Jake offered, standing aside a few inches.

"Sure. Wherever you want, Midget," I assured him, with a smile.

Jake headed back into his room, and I followed him after a few seconds.

"You want this open or closed?" I asked, hand on the door.

"Open. Thanks," came Jake's voice as he pulled out his school bag, then searched through the mess inside for his book and quiz.

I sat down at his desk, laughing a little. "You're a total slob, Midget."

Jake stood up, holding the quiz, a notebook with a pencil stuck inside, and his math book.

"I remember you were almost as bad before you joined—when you were in middle school," Jake corrected himself.

Yeah, Midget. Yeerks loyal to the empire were total jerks, but they were also neat freaks.

To a fault.

"You're right. I guess I just got sick of not being able to find anything," I laughed. "Okay, let's take a look at your math homework."

Jake's bed was inches from his desk, so we were able to sit close together and see everything. He was studying pre-Algebra, which had to be the creation of some deranged math teacher.

Of course, I told him this, and he managed a real laugh.

I had set my glass of water far away from his work so that it wouldn't crash into anything, but also far enough from the edge to prevent spilling. As we studied, I would turn my gaze towards it every so often. I thought I was being smart about not looking at it too often, but after the fifth time, Jake spoke up.

"You gonna drink any of that, or just stare at it?" He asked, giving me a raised eyebrow.

Oops. Guess I hadn't been as careful as I'd thought.

I shrugged. "Just didn't want to mess up your work, Midget."

"Oh," Jake realized. "Thanks."

"I mean," I added, "I can think of worse fates for math textbooks, but the school would charge Mom and Dad if it was all moldy when you turned it in."

Jake made a face. "Then, I would be grounded for life. Probably sentenced to cleaning the basement and the attic," he half complained.

"Yeah, and you don't want to be cleaning out the attic in July or August," I advised. "Okay, so here, if you take the exponents..."

We studied until Jake could answer all of the pop quiz questions correctly, and I put an arm around his shoulder in congratulations. He let me, too, for about five seconds.

"Thanks," he told me, packing up his bag. "I think I will be okay if he gives another pop quiz this week."

"No problem, Midget."

(I think it's time,) Liliss spoke up, softly.

(Okay,) I agreed, giving her a mental nod.

(Good luck, honey. See you soon.)

I hoped so.

As soon as I felt her start to disconnect from my head, I spoke up again.

"Jake, there's something else..."

It was kind of amazing timing that the moment Jake looked up at me was right after Liliss left my head. He lunged forward, but I had Liliss into the glass of water before he could reach her body. I looked down at her, just to reassure myself she was okay, before turning my attention back to Jake, holding the glass just out of his reach.

Not that he couldn't morph and knock me out, but I hoped he'd give me a few minutes to explain.

Seeing me hold the glass containing my Yeerk away from him, Jake's face turned from determined to shocked. Angry? Maybe even disappointed? I figured I better speak up before he tried anything drastic.

"Midget, I promise, it's okay. She's part of the Peace Movement. Like Aftran? She's been there for a long time. Like, way before she was assigned to me as her host," I rambled. Then, I took a deep breath. "It's okay, I promise. Can I put her down?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, a cliffhanger. You'll have to wait until the next chapter to see how Jake reacts!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we're here--finally!

For a few long, agonizing seconds, Jake didn't say anything. Just stared at the glass of water, now also holding Liliss, that was just out of his reach.

"H-how long has she...?" Jake finally croaked out, his eyes turning between me and my Yeerk. "Been in your head?"

"A little over eight months," I answered, gently.

"Right." Jake nodded, now turning his attention entirely to me. "I-yeah. Okay."

It was my turn to nod. "Yeah."

"Um, I'm going to put the glass down, okay? You won't...?" I trailed off.

Not sure if I could trust Jake, whatever he said.

Hating that feeling. Even if, were I in Jake's position, I would probably want to crush the Yeerk inside my big brother's head. Even if he insisted that the Yeerk was one of the "good ones".

Still, looking at him, watching him pause, made me think that Jake would probably hear me out before attempting Yeerkicide.

If not...well, I hoped that I'd have a second or so to grab the glass out of his hands. To save my Yeerk.

"No...I mean," he added, quickly, "I won't...do anything."

"Promise?" I pressed.

Granted, if Jake was determined, it wouldn't matter.

Still, he hadn't morphed, yet.

So.

That was something.

Another nod, more vigorous this time. "Yeah. I promise, Tom. I won't hurt her."

With that, I placed the glass back on the desk. Then, I turned back to my kid brother, who looked even paler than he'd been over the last several months. Poor kid. Really, I just wanted to hug the daylights out of him, but that he might still be scared of me. I'd been the enemy all this time, and...yeah. I should avoid any sudden moves.

We just stared at his other, studying each other.

Really, I hadn't expected it to feel this awkward.

Then again, I shouldn't have been surprised. Jake had seen me as the enemy for what? Almost a year? I had been the enemy for a good six months.

It wasn't his fault that he didn't know that Liliss was good.

That she wouldn't hurt me, or him.

Finally, I spoke up, trying to smile reassuringly. "I know it's a lot to take in, Jake."

Jake nodded, again. "Yeah." After a pause, he added, "She...does she treat you okay, Tom?"

"More than okay, Midget," I promised. "I know, it's weird. But we're friends, now. She's definitely on our side. I promise."

More nodding, and I wondered if Jake was having trouble processing the fact that I was...what, exactly? A voluntary Controller? Only to Liliss. Only because she was in the Peace Movement, and had helped me. Was still helping me.

"Okay." Jake swallowed. "Yeah. Okay."

"Hey, Midget?" I murmured.

Not sure what else to add, I tentatively held out my arms towards him. I wanted to make it clear that, as much as I wanted to give my kid brother a bear hug, I wasn't going to force anything on him. Almost immediately, Jake wrapped his around me, tightly, holding me like he was afraid to let go. The solid warmth of his smaller frame against mine, his arms around my back, was very reassuring. Comforting.

Honestly, I couldn't even remember the last time I had hugged my kid brother. In all likelihood, Temrash probably had never given him one, or I would have remembered. I hoped. But me? The real me? I drew a complete blank.

Of course, after I squeezed him back, we stayed like that for several minutes. I thought that I could even hear Jake's heart, which, instead of slowing down, began to beat faster. It wasn't until Jake began shaking and hiccuping that I, reluctantly, let go.

Jake looked pained, and mumbled, "Sorry."

I put an arm around his shoulder, figuring this would be a little easier for him. Still supportive, but maybe not as confining as a hug.

"Hey, no problem," I reassured him. "Like I said, I know that it's a lot to take in. Um, you want to sit down for a little? Maybe, talk things over?"

Jake nodded, relief showing on his face, in spite of the fact that he was still hiccuping. Looked around the room. "My bed? Or downstairs, on the couch?"

"Your bed's good," I assured him. "It's right here, you know."

Jake nodded, choking out a small laugh.

We climbed into his bed, the covers still unmade from Jake's nap, and sat up side by side against the headboard. Well, I was, anyway. Jake leaned himself against me, so I wrapped both arms around him again, except, this time, it was more like a backwards hug. Or, like I was holding one of those giant stuffed toys that you saw in the shopping mall. The ones that were big enough to be a bed for a small kid.

I gave Jake another squeeze. "This okay?" I asked.

He turned towards me, nodding, but still looking uncertain. "I...I just need a minute to..."

"To process? Sure." I smiled, hopefully reassuringly. "No hurry. Take all the time you need, Jake."

Jake smiled back, almost shyly, then leaned himself against me for several minutes. Letting himself finally relax around me.

Which was how it should be. I was his big brother, after all. His protector.

Even if he was the one kicking Visser Three's butt.

Anyway, at least I could do this for him, now. Hold my kid brother, let him feel safe for awhile. Let him process the fact that Liliss, while still a Yeerk living in my head, was one of the good ones, who wouldn't hurt either of us.

It had to be a lot to take in. Especially since the concept of the Peace Movement was a new one. Aftran hadn't even been a part of it when she'd met Cassie, and all that.

After awhile, Jake spoke again. "I figure we've got a lot to talk about, Tom."

I gave Jake another gentle squeeze. "You're telling me! I had no idea you were kicking alien butt for what? The past year and a half?"

"No, a little over a year," Jake corrected. "It does feels longer."

I moved a hand to the top of his shoulders, running over it in small circles. Jake let out a deep breath, which I took to be a good sign.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Honestly, I can't even imagine what you guys have been through."

They were, after all, just kids. Early teenagers, now. They were what? Twelve or maybe thirteen when they'd begun fighting?

Way too young.

"You were a Controller for longer than we've been fighting, right? That's a lot worse than just having to fight the Yeerks," Jake pointed out, almost angrily.

Which was, I admit, somewhat of a surprise. He knew all about the Yeerks and what they did, but he'd never experienced it firsthand.

Thank God.

"It was. Fortunately, things turned around when I got Liliss," I promised, keeping my voice soft, still running a hand along his shoulders. "She's been really, really good to me. She's as anti-empire, as pro human, as you can get."

Jake turned to me. "You're sure? How long has she been in the Peace Movement? Has she ever...I mean...?" Jake trailed off.

I hid a sigh. I really didn't want Jake to know the extent of what Temrash had put me through. At the same time, he had to know that Liliss had earned my trust over time, and I knew she wasn't an evil Yeerk from...well, from being infested with one.

"I didn't trust her at first," I began. "The first slug I got...he-" I stopped, took a deep breath, then started again. "It wasn't fun, Midget. He was a jerk. But, it wasn't forever. He got promoted, though, I think he ended up dying in the pool before he could get his new host. That was when the Yeerk pool at the hospital got parboiled?"

I turned to Jake as I spoke this, giving him a grin, which he didn't quite return. If anything, his face darkened.

"Yeah, we killed at least a hundred Yeerks, and prevented the clinic from opening," Jake recalled.

"Plus, you prevented the infestation of our governor. A major win, Midget." I grinned. "Anyway. Right after the slug left my head for his big promotion, Liliss got assigned to me. Pretty much the first thing she told me was that she was part of the Peace Movement and was going to help me get better and get my life back." I watched Jake, who seemed more alert than relaxed, but this must be big news for him. "Anyway, at first, I was sure that she was lying, you know? I was sure she was faking it. That she'd just find a way to hurt me later. Make sense?"

Jake nodded. "Yeah. But, she didn't, did she? Hurt you, I mean?"

Okay, so he knew that Yeerks could hurt their hosts. Beyond the whole taking total control of their bodies without their consent.

I'd hoped to shield him from this. Just because Jake was fighting the Yeerks didn't mean he had to know just how cruel they could be to their hosts.

On the other hand, maybe he didn't know that much. I mean, Cassie'd been infested by Aftran, sure, but the two ended up friends. Or, some sort of grudging respect had formed between the two. Not exactly the typical Yeerk infests human and tortures them for "misbehaving" story.

I spoke carefully. "Nope. Never even raised her voice at me, or snapped at me or anything. Believe me, I gave her plenty of reason to, in the beginning. I was bitter."

"You had a right to be, Tom," Jake insisted. "He took everything from you. To be honest, I'm kind of glad to hear that you didn't trust her at first. It makes it easier to...believe you now."

Wow. He'd grown up a lot, my kid brother.

Well, he'd had to, after all.

"Yeah. And she knew that, too. Which helped, you see? Anyway, slowly, I came to trust her. Now..." I let go of one of my arms around Jake, just long enough to gesture at the glass containing my Yeerk. "Here we are."

Jake sort of nodded, first looking at me, then at Liliss. I saw his face change, become almost fearful, when he looked at Liliss. Like he was afraid she'd jump out of the glass and infest him.

Not the best sign, even though Jake's reaction was pretty understandable. It would probably take some time to trust Liliss.

Ran in the family, I guessed.

"Midget? I know it's going to take some time. With everything," I added, very helpfully.

Jake nodded. "Tom? How long did you two know about us?" he asked, studying me.

I laughed, a real genuine laugh. "Oh, less than a week. It was, uh, kind of a surprise, Midget," I told him, playfully. "My brother, the midget, kicking Yeerk butt all this time. Never thought you had it in you. Not at thirteen, anyway. Now, at sixteen...maybe."

He managed a laugh.

That had to be a good sign.

"How...when...?" Jake stopped, then cleared his throat, like he was the one who'd been infested by Temrash for months, and was figuring out how to talk again. "How, exactly, did you find everything out? About who we were?"

Right. I'd been so focused on Liliss, I'd forgotten that detail.

"You know about Aftran, right? That she freed her child host and joined the Peace Movement?" I began. At Jake's nod, I continued, "She went around meeting the others there. There aren't a ton, but it's getting bigger. When Liliss joined, there were twenty, and now, there's only fifty. Forty-nine, excluding Liliss. Anyway, Aftran introduced herself to all the Yeerks in the Peace Movement. Not all at once, since a feeding is only a couple of hours, and not all of the Yeerks in the Peace Movement feed at the same time. It's probably pretty intense if you're a new member. Lots of questions, on both ends. Like if they still had hosts, how long they'd been involved, that kind of thing. And since she'd been in Cassie's head, she knew that you had a brother. Me. When Liliss—my Yeerk—mentioned my name and that I had a brother, she was really interested. Asked a lot of people, like how many Yeerks I had had, if my brother or any family were also part of The Sharing. Stuff like that." I couldn't hide a laugh as I added, "So, it wasn't long before they figured out that Jake the Animorph had a brother whose Yeerk was in the Peace Movement."

Jake managed a laugh. Then, he slowly shook his head. "It's kind of crazy. I mean, all this time. I thought your Yeerk was our enemy. That she was hurting you."

"Nope. Helping me get better, instead." I made a face. "I'm glad you didn't see me when she first infested me, Jake. I really wasn't myself. It had been so long with Temrash, being his host and not having control, that it was really hard to use my body for more than a few minutes at once. With practice, though, I'm almost back to where I was before I was infested."

Jake nodded, slowly. There was this look in his eyes, too. Like this wasn't anything he didn't know.

"And...not your body?" he asked.

"Huh?"

Jake stared at me. "I know he hurt you, Tom."

I couldn't exactly deny it, but I wasn't sure I wanted to know how Jake knew.

Perhaps Aftran had known Temrash when she'd had a Hork-Bajir host? Not that I was sure that she'd had one before Karen, but one of the few interesting pieces of information Temrash had told me was that Yeerks who were assigned humans had been promoted from Hork-Bajir. Anyway, if they'd known each other, he might have joked or boasted or whatever about whatever he'd put his hosts through.

It wasn't exactly a secret that some Yeerks treated their hosts like crap.

Granted, it also wasn't really encouraged, because the empire still preferred voluntary hosts over involuntary ones. Liliss had told me all this. A Yeerk who mistreated a voluntary host, especially a voluntary human, could get banished to the Yeerk Pool for months or even years.

I realized I was probably staring off into space.

"Oh, I'm okay now," I assured him. "I mean, I still get nightmares and stuff, but it's way less often. Besides, Liliss is there...and she really helps me."

"That's great," Jake murmured.

Suddenly, he hugged me so tightly I thought I might break a rib.

Not that this kept me from hugging him back at least as hard.

We stayed like that for at least a full minute. Jake let go first, taking in several deep breaths. I realized I was doing the same.

"Okay, maybe not so tight the next time," I wheezed, laughing. "Still worth it."

Jake managed a grin. A real grin.

"Definitely."

"Um. Ready for next time?" I asked, after a few seconds.

Jake nodded, still grinning his face off. Carefully, I wrapped both arms around him in a sort of backwards/side hug. Jake leaned in against me, letting out a small sigh, the grin turning into a smaller, but contented, smile.

"Tom? How much do you know? About us?" he asked.

I sort of shrugged. "Elfangor broke Seerow's Kindness to give you guys the morphing power. It's you, Marco, Tobias, Cassie, Rachel, and Elfangor's little brother, who you nicknamed Ax. You have been kicking Visser Three's butt for the last year." I shrugged. "Hey, how did Cassie end up becoming human again? Aftran told me that she'd made her turn caterpillar in exchange for Karen's freedom."

"Caterpillars become butterflies, and natural morphing resets the morphing clock," Jake explained. "Ax clued us in on the resetting the clock part as soon as we saw Cassie become a butterfly."

Ah. That made about as much sense as the morphing technology, which was, not at all.

"I'm glad she's human again. Especially since she's your girlfriend, and all that," I teased. "Hard enough with Rachel and Tobias. He can morph human for a couple of hours. But dating a caterpillar who can't morph? Good luck with that, Midget."

Jake groaned. "She's not really my girlfriend."

Sure.

I ran a hand around Jake's shoulders again. "Whatever you say."

"Wait." Jake turned to me, a half glare, half grin on his face. "Are you telling me that Aftran's gossiping to the other Yeerks about me and Cassie? And Rachel and Tobias?"

I held up my hands. "Liliss is the one you need to ask about that. Anyway, I've seen you with Cassie."

Jake rolled his eyes and rested against me. I took this as him accepting defeat.

We were both quiet for several minutes. I wouldn't have been surprised if Jake started to drift off again, or zone out, when he spoke up.

"Tom?"

"Yeah, Midget?"

"I guess you have the summary of how we're fighting the empire, but do you want to know...everything?" he asked.

"I want to hear what you want to tell me," I answered, truthfully. "And whenever you are ready. Doesn't have to be all at once if you don't want to. I just...want this to be as easy as possible for you, Jake."

Jake took a deep breath. "Okay." After a minute, he gave me a shaky smile. "Man, Tom. I missed...hanging out with you."

"Me too, Midget," I murmured, giving him another squeeze.

"Okay," Jake repeated. "So, it kinda started when we decided to take a shortcut across a construction site..."

Two hours later, Jake stopped talking.

"Wow. You've been through enough for ten lifetimes," I sighed.

I was still hugging my kid brother, or cradling him, or whatever it was called. My arms were getting a little tired, but that was a small price to pay.

Minuscule, really.

"It sure feels like it," Jake sighed, his voice a little sore.

"Maybe you should give your voice a break," I suggested, gently. "There's plenty of time to tell me everything. I'm not going anywhere, and Liliss isn't going to be reassigned to anyone else. She'll make sure of that." At his nod, I added, "Speaking of which...mind if I put Liliss back in my head? I think she's gonna want to talk to you directly."

Jake sort of flinched at this. "I don't...you won't be able to have control if she does that."

"I will still be able to talk," I assured him. "She can do this thing called gentle control. Basically, she's operating my body, but I can intervene at any time. And it doesn't hurt, and I don't have to fight her. We share control, this way."

"Always?" Jake asked.

I shook my head. "Usually, when she doesn't have to be in control for Yeerk stuff, or when I want to zone out during class or something, I'm the one in control."

Jake nodded, clearly trying to imagine this. Or, at least, understand it.

"Tom? How long has she been in your head?" Jake wanted to know.

I frowned. "Uh, Midget? You already asked me this."

Jake shook his head. "No, sorry, I mean...do you remember what day she first infested you?"

"Ohhh. It was the Wednesday before you guys destroyed the clinic," I answered, automatically.

"Really? We didn't attack the hospital until that Saturday," Jake recalled.

I shrugged. "Guess they needed time to transport Temrash and all of the other jerk Yeerks to the hospital. I don't think they bothered with any that would go to potential voluntary hosts, because Visser Three assumed the clinic would get all involuntary humans."

Jake exhaled against me. "Oh. Right. You know, Tom, knowing that they were probably all jerks...it wasn't exactly easy, killing Yeerks. Without hosts. We had to, I mean. Because, they wouldn't stay like that. But, now especially, I mean..."

I tightened my hug. "You did what you had to. Sure, they were helpless at the time, but they weren't going to stay that way. And I would bet my hand that at least 90% of them were like Temrash. Maybe worse." I paused, just for a second. "I was so relieved when you decided not to join The Sharing, Midget. I couldn't stand the thought of you getting infested."

"I might have joined, if I hadn't heard your slug hadn't talked about killing me," Jake murmured. "Besides, your face changed, when Temrash was going on about how great The Sharing was. I figured you were trying to send me a message."

"I was." I remembered it vividly. "I fought like crazy, then. I only managed to get control for, like, a millisecond. I wasn't even sure I'd managed anything..." I trailed off.

"No, Tom, I noticed. I saw," Jake reassured me. "I kept hoping that you weren't infested, but I guessed, when you made that face, that you were warning me, and then later, when your slug was going on about killing me if I didn't join...well, yeah, I knew for sure then. So, no way were we going to join an alien invasion." Jake paused for a second. "Tom, we really tried to get you out, that first time. And I wanted to go back again. But we weren't sure when he fed, and when we blew up the Kandrona and people without Yeerks were killed...looking back, there had to be a way, but I couldn't figure it out. I'm really sorry, Tom."

"Hey." I lowered my face to look at my kid brother's, who had tears in his eyes. Poor kid. He was still just a kid, after all. I made my voice as gentle as I knew how. "Look, it's okay. I get it. Anyway, Liliss is nothing like Temrash. She's been helping me, Midget. She's really good to me. We're friends."

"You mean it?" Jake choked out, a tear falling down his face.

I wrapped my arms around him even tighter. "Definitely. And, if you ask me again, at least today, I'll give you a massive noogie. Got it?" I teased him, giving him a light nudge in the ribs so he knew I was teasing him.

Jake hiccuped a little, then managed a laugh. "Okay."

I was about to tell Jake that I was going to put Liliss back in my head when he spoke up again.

"Tom?" he asked, voice a little shaky.

I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring look. "Yeah, Midget?"

"About when we boiled up the Yeerks in the hospital..." he began, hesitating. "They didn't all die then."

I frowned. "Like, some bounced out of the pool and you had to step on them?"

Jake shook his head. "Um, see, what happened was...some Controllers came in as soon as they saw us. Or heard us. They started shooting at us. Don't worry," he added, hastily, "they missed me, twice. But when they took the third shot, I knew they wouldn't miss, and I had to get out of the way. I dodged the bullet, but I fell in the pool."

I squeezed Jake tighter, as though I could prevent where this was going.

"One of the Yeerks crawled into my head. Um, it was your first Yeerk," Jake added.

I closed my eyes. "Oh, shit."

He knew, then.

He had to.

I could only hope that he hadn't tortured Jake, just gloated, but this had been Temrash.

Besides, if Temrash went through the fugue, if he hadn't left Jake's head before the memory transfer started, Jake would have gotten a lot of my memories.

He would have seen how Temrash had treated me as a host.

"It was only for three days," Jake reassured me. "Everyone figured it out pretty quickly. I mean, Ax was the first, and at first the others thought he'd gone crazy, but...anyway, they managed to starve him after three days. That was when I seemed to be acting crazy. Because they had Ax morph me and play me, for two hours at a time."

"He definitely made you look insane," I ribbed.

Jake laughed. "I believe you. When I heard that 'I' had been talking weirdly and eating everything in sight..."

"We all thought you'd gone off the deep end," I informed him, grinning. "I was glad when you were back to normal. Well, normal for you, anyway."

"Ha ha," Jake deadpanned.

After another silence, I added, "Midget, I am so sorry you had to go through that kind of hell. And with Temrash! I mean, obviously you know, but he was a total jerk," I added, although I figured that calling him a jerk was a major understatement.

"Yeah. He was," Jake murmured, nestling close to me.

I pulled my kid brother even tighter to me.

"Yeah. I don't have to tell you it was bad," Jake agreed, darkly. "He told me you had been his host before me, and when I thought you were free..." Jake made a face, and for a moment, I thought he would start crying. Not that I would have blamed him in the slightest. "Um, he showed me one of your memories."

"Which one?" I asked, before I could stop myself.

Jake didn't quite look at me. "The Saturday before we attacked. He, pretending to be you, was talking to be in the morning. Just stuff about a Sharing meeting. I saw it how the Yeerk, and how you, saw it." Jake met my eyes. "You begged him to leave me alone. Said you'd never bug him again, if he'd just leave me alone."

I closed my eyes. "Yeah. I remember."

"He did it to show me my future. Said that they all fight, but they give up in the end." Jake squeezed my arm. "I knew that if they didn't get him out of my head, I wouldn't last. I wasn't as strong as you, Tom."

I smiled, a little weakly. "Yeah, well. It's almost impossible not to give up, especially with a jerk like him."

"I'm sorry." Jake brushed away some tears. "I should have gotten you out. I should have gone back to the Yeerk Pool, every day, if I had to..."

"Jake." I grabbed his shoulders, firmly, but not hard enough to hurt him. "You did everything you could. You still are. I'm okay, I promise."

He took a deep breath. "It might not have been a Peace Movement Yeerk, the second time. It could have been another Temrash."

"Yeah, believe me, I know." I winced. "Point is, it wasn't. I don't blame you, okay? You did the right thing."

Jake wrapped his arms around me, and of course, I squeezed him back.

"Tom?" Jake asked, once he'd let go, and I had a protective arm around his shoulder. "When he died, he went through the fugue. I, uh, got a lot more of his memories. When he was dying. Some of them were yours."

I gave Jake another squeeze. That was what I was hoping to avoid for Jake. At least it was only three days, but three days with Temrash...

"OKay. Anything you want to talk about?" I pressed, but gently.

Jake shook his head. "Not...not now." He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, you've got nothing to be sorry about," I agreed, keeping my voice soft. "You know, though, that my door is always open, though. Okay?"

Jake looked up at me. "Okay. Yeah."

It was then remembered that Liliss had probably been waiting for me for the better part of three hours.

"Um, Midget? Mind if I put Liliss back in my head? She's probably getting worried."

Jake nodded. Before I could reach for my Yeerk, Jake spoke up. "Tom? Can she leave your head sometimes? So it's just us?"

"You bet. At least for an hour every couple of days. Or more, if we want. We can figure something out as we go," I promised.

Looking relieved, Jake nodded again and watched as I let go of him and walked the few steps to retrieve my Yeerk. He made a pained face as she started to enter my ear, but I squeezed his arm in reassurance.

I felt a slight sting, then my ear go numb as Liliss made her way inside. No loss of control as she climbed in. That was a little surprising. Liliss had told me that Yeerks are only "forced" to take control when they infest a new host for the first time. But, since she always infested me at the Yeerk Pool, with pool guards and other Controllers around, she had to take control. However briefly. This was the first time she had infested me without needing to take control.

A minute or so later, I felt her familiar presence in my mind.

(Hi, honey,) she greeted. (How did everything go? I was getting a little worried.)

(Pretty good, all things considered,) I told her. (You can check my memories.)

As she did just that, I joined Jake on the bed, giving him a reassuring smile, and putting an arm around his back for only the ten thousandth time that day.

"It's okay, Midget. It's still me."

Granted, short of Liliss leaving my head again, there was no way for me to prove this. Jake looked reassured, though, and leaned against me.

Again, only for the ten thousandth time that day.

"What's she doing? Or saying?" Jake asked me.

I put my other arm around his shoulders, and he leaned against me.

"Just seeing what we talked about," I answered, lightly.

The truth was that I was used to Liliss going through any recent memories, but older ones were still off limits. I wasn't comfortable with her replaying any of my memories from before her, even the good ones. Probably, I was still recovering from what Temrash had done to me with them.

Jake nodded, then asked, "You don't mind?"

I shrugged. "Not when it's just for recent stuff. What she missed when she fed at the pool. Not that it's very interesting. Anything from my time with Temrash and earlier is off limits. I mean, she had to search my memory at the beginning, but she did that when I was sleeping, so I wasn't aware of it. I'm not comfortable with her replaying any memories, even good ones, and Liliss respects that."

"That's good. Um, like I said, I got a lot of yours when he died..."

"You couldn't help that," I reassured Jake. "Anyway, I hope some were good."

Jake nodded. "They weren't all bad."

"Okay. That's good. I mean, you've been through hell..."

I trailed off as Jake's face started to crumple.

I wrapped my kid brother into a big hug, and we stayed like that until both of our stomachs started to growl.

"Well, I guess that's a sign we need to find something to eat," I suggested, standing up slowly. "Pretty sure there's leftover pizza."

Jake blinked, then made a face.

"You'd rather have something else? Or, we can order more," I offered.

"No, it's just...we're going to need to have a meeting. Probably should have had one earlier," Jake explained.

I frowned to myself, thinking this over. It was possible that our parents would be back tonight. If we were gone when they got back, not only would Jake's weekend grounding get extended to at least a week, I would get in trouble as well. If we waited until tomorrow, I thought I stood at least a 50-50 shot at getting Jake a lowered sentence for good behavior.

(Better to wait,) Liliss advised. (We can't risk being grounded.)

True. Jake could morph, but I couldn't.

I ran my suggestion by Jake, who seemed reassured.

"Yeah, and if they say no, there's Monday, right?" He asked.

"Sure. If the meeting works out, we can feed Monday before school. If not, tomorrow afternoon," I promised, and felt Liliss give me a mental nod.

"Right. Okay," Jake agreed. "So. Pizza?"

"Let's check the supply," I laughed, tousling his hair.

Jake didn't object.

Pizza never lasted long in our house, with three guys. Even though Mom or Dad always got two pies whenever we ordered out, the leftovers were never around for more than a day. All the same, if there was anything there after two days, Mom would freeze it in a plastic bag. No one really wanted to eat frozen pizza unless we were desperate.

I'd been pretty sure there was some in the fridge, but that was gone, so I checked the freezer. Nothing. Or, nothing that resembled pizza.

"Guess we'll have to order out," I informed Jake, who had come downstairs with a book for his English class in hand.

I was relieved that Liliss and I had finished our homework last night. Not that I would tell Jake this. It would seem like I was rubbing his nose in the fact.

"Do you have any money?" he asked, as he opened the book to the page he'd dog eared.

"Yeah, in my room. Hang on..."

I found a handful of 20's and some 10's in my room. I should probably take it to the bank soon. The Sharing paid some of its members-like me-because they were concerned that parents would complain if a volunteer organization took away too much time for after school and summer jobs. Not a problem with my parents, but Temrash had let this slide, and Liliss hadn't told them, either.

Not that it would have mattered. Jake and I still got allowances for chores.

I grabbed two of the 20's and headed back downstairs.

"We're good."

Jake looked up from his book. "Great, I'm starving."

I grinned at him. "There is stuff in the fridge if you're that hungry."

"I can hold out for pizza."

"Okay, your choice, Midget," I laughed. "The usual?"

"Yeah." Jake returned to his book. "Sorry, I remembered I have to read three chapters of this by Monday, and they're long."

"I'm not going anywhere," I promised.

Using the menus my parents kept in the kitchen, I picked the one from our favorite pizzeria and put in an order for two with Jake and my favorite toppings. They promised to be there in no more than thirty minutes.

While we waited, Jake read his book at the table. I realized just how much more relaxed he looked, now. What I-and probably Liliss and Temrash-had taken to be distraction or teenage angst had been something a lot more serious. He and his friends were fighting in a war. Worse, he and his friends were leading the only resistance on Earth against the Yeerk Empire.

I felt Liliss nudge at my head at this. Okay, true, the Peace Movement was a resistance in its own right, and at least a few members had found a way to free their hosts and remain alive. How, I wasn't sure. If their adults had been human adults, maybe they could had fled the state. Even the country. Harder if you're a kid or a teenager. Still, they weren't exactly doing the heavy lifting.

(How can we, at this point?) Liliss chided me, gently. (Only two of us have Hork-Bajir. A few humans, like yourself, were issued a Dracon Beam, but that's laughable in the face of Visser Three's army. All we can do is spread the message, and hope more of our kind and their hosts want to join. With larger numbers, we can create a larger resistance.)

When the pizza came, I was glad we'd ordered fresh. Even reheated pizza from the fridge isn't the same as right from the oven. I tipped the delivery guy with some of the change, and Jake and I dove into the first one.

"Mmm," he murmured, inhaling the scent.

"Don't forget to chew," I teased, taking a couple of slices for myself and putting them on a plate. "You don't want to choke or, worse, eat so fast you won't taste it."

"Yes, Mom," Jake retorted, taking two slices (to start).

Neither of us ate particularly slowly, or, not the first two pieces. We slowed down around our third, and savored our fourth. I put the second box in the fridge, figuring it would be consumed by the four of us (five if you counted Liliss) before the next day was over.

"You got any more homework I can help you with?" I asked, after the small amount of cleanup was finished.

"Paper due Wednesday for History. I'm about half finished."

That didn't sound too bad.

"With all of the physical labor we've done and the fact that you've studied pretty hard, I think we can both take a break tonight from schoolwork. Want to see what's on TV?" I wondered.

At Jake's nod, we headed into the living room. Homer followed us and plopped himself down on one side of Jake. I, of course, claimed the other, and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. A second too late, I wondered if I was babying my kid brother-or, more to the point, if he would think I was babying him-but he just leaned in against me like he used to do when we were kids.

It wasn't that we hadn't been close before I was stupid enough to get involved in The Sharing. More that cuddling was something we'd both...outgrew, maybe. We'd done stuff together, sure, but unless one of us was really upset about something, physical affection wasn't really our thing.

I could easily see this changing, and I didn't mind it at all.

Anyway, as soon as I'd impulsively wrapped an arm around Jake, he relaxed against me, lifting his legs onto the couch like he was a cat. Then again, his battle morph was a Siberian tiger, and everyone knows that house cats think they're tigers, and tigers are just oversized cats. Except they couldn't purr.

"Good kitty," I teased, giving him a scratch on the head with my free hand.

"Kitty?" Jake echoed, clearly appalled. "I'm not a cat, Tom."

I rolled my eyes. "Your battle morph is a tiger. So, yeah, Midget, you're a cat."

Jake took a few seconds to process this, then laughed. "Okay, fine. But if you call me 'kitty' in front of anyone..."

"I'll face the wrath of the claws," I finished.

Jake snickered, again. "Maybe not that. I'll think of something."

"Okay, you do that," I laughed, wrapping my other arm around him, much like I'd done before.

Jake relaxed against me, and we didn't talk for the next hour or so.

When I was Temrash's slave, watching TV with my family was nothing short of awful. Okay, my whole life had been awful, but TV, especially had been bad. With homework or meetings, he had to direct some of his attention elsewhere. When it came down to "down time", he needed entertainment, and I was his focus. Sometimes, it was just belittling my favorite shows. After he made me quit the team, if it was me and my dad watching basketball (because, of course, he'd told my dad that I didn't mind), he would make particularly awful remarks, like how it was such a shame that I would never be that good. Or, how he'd done me a favor by quitting, because being able to score in high school was nothing like the major leagues. Occasionally, he'd reflect on how humans wasted our time on recreation, and once the Yeerks conquered the world, this would all be obsolete.

Liliss had seen all of this. She hadn't replayed any of the memories, but she knew how I felt. In her own ways, she'd make it easier for me.

Sometimes, the biggest way she could help was by not hurting me.

I wasn't past flashbacks, even after eight months of her. Maybe, I would never be. I still had nightmares at least once a week.

Once I'd started letting her give me mental hugs, I felt calmer faster. She never gave me one without me giving the okay. That helped. To know that I had full control over that.

After an hour of mindless TV, I was starting to feel tired, and Jake tried to hide a yawn at least twice in the span of one minute. Once it became clear that neither of us were going to make it much longer, and it was during a commercial break, I turned my head to Jake.

"Ready to call it a night?" I asked, softly.

Jake blinked a couple of times, then nodded his head.

"Come on," I told him, starting to stand up and carefully pulling my brother up off the couch.

He didn't object, just followed me upstairs.

Jake's bedroom was closer to the stairs than mine, by a couple of feet. Once we'd made the huge climb, we simultaneously hugged the other. Jake had a tired grin on his face, and I was sure that mine looked the same.

"Sleep well, Midget," I murmured, once we'd separated.

Of course, we met again a few minutes later in the bathroom. I'd arrived first, and was finishing with my teeth when I heard Jake knock.

"Just a second!" I called, or tried to call, given that I still had toothpaste in my mouth.

(I don't think he quite got that,) Liliss teased.

I sent her an image of a Yeerk sticking out an imaginary tongue, which made her giggle.

I spat out the toothpaste, did a final rinse, and repeated myself.

"Just a second!"

Then, I opened the door.

Jake grinned. "Heard you the first time."

"Oh. Cool." I laughed. "Anyway, it's all yours. See you tomorrow, okay? Maybe, we can shoot hoops if there's any time."

Jake nodded. "Yeah, that sounds great."

I wrapped my arms around him. "Sleep well, Midget."

He hugged me back for several seconds before letting go.

"You too, Tom."

Smiling, I stepped into my room, not bothering to close the door. Then, I made my way into bed, pulling the covers around myself, and turning over onto my right side.

(Night, Liliss,) I told my Yeerk, closing my eyes.

Feeling truly happy.

(Sweet dreams, Tom,) she answered, with a mental smile.

I must have fallen asleep quickly. How do you know, really, how fast you fall asleep? It's really only when you can't sleep for awhile that you notice that kind of thing. Anyway, I was having a good dream-although I couldn't remember it later-when I abruptly awoke to hear screaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't end this without some cliffhanger, now could I? :)
> 
> There's at least one chapter remaining, maybe two, depending on how I decide to break up what's left. Also, I still want to look over and make some revisions to the remainder of the story, so when it's all said and done, it could very well end up being three chapters. I hope you'll stick around.
> 
> Another note...I've stated in the past that despite the fact that, in "The Capture", Jake only tells the reader the extended memory of Tom getting involved with The Sharing and then being infested, I flat out refuse to believe that's the only one he receives. In fact, in the last chapter of that book, Jake says whether he knew if Tom would have the strength to keep fighting, and that he carried some of his brother in him. While I don't think that Jake received an upload of Tom's entire life, I am certain that he received a LOT of his memories-pre infestation and during his time with Temrash. With this premise in mind, my writing their relationship, and this story in particular, reflects my interpretation of what happened in Temrash's fugue.


	10. Chapter 10

Despite my initial panic, I should have expected this. If not tonight, then sometime soon. It wasn't like Jake yelling bloody murder in his sleep was out of the ordinary. After the first time he woke me and Temrash up, he'd started sleeping with his door closed. My former Yeerk figured it was some teenage phase, and it bothered him about as much as the kind of torture he put me through on a regular basis. To Midget's credit, the door being closed probably muffled the sound, at least to some extent. Our bedrooms were next to each other. My parents, on the other hand, slept on the other side of the hallway, and I couldn't recall a single instance in which either had been woken up when Midget was having a nightmare.

The first time Temrash and I had heard the screams, Temrash had rushed into his room, acting (emphasis on "acting") decent enough to Jake. My brother reacted with a mixture of embarrassment and near animosity, which Temrash rightly took as an indicator that his presence wouldn't be necessary if Jake had more nightmares. So, of course, my slug had ran with that.

Liliss cared about the fact that Jake had nightmares regularly, mostly because it worried me, but we both figured it would be better to follow Temrash's lead-for once. If Jake didn't want us there when he woke up from a bad dream, well, we'd only be intruding.

This time, now knowing what we did, was way different.

Not that either of us thought about this when we heard Jake's screams. They even sounded worse than before. As I woke up and bolted out of my bed, I wasn't even sure if it was me in control, or Liliss. Probably me, but it was hardly something I would have bet my life on.

Anyway, we didn't communicate much in those first few seconds. Or, nothing very concrete. I was half asleep, still, and Liliss...well, she was probably more awake because if she'd been sleeping, it was the light sleep that Yeerks experienced.

We raced out of my room and, without bothering to knock on Jake's door, opened it and turned on the light. Jake was curled up in a ball in the middle of his bed, still yelling out something about...well, I couldn't make out anything concrete.

The point was, Midget was clearly terrified, and I had no plans of leaving until he either kicked me out (unlikely, considering earlier), felt better enough for me to leave (still unlikely), or felt safe enough to fall asleep, ideally with me next to him to prevent any more nightmares that night (ideal option).

(I got this,) I told Liliss.

Even though I wasn't sure I wasn't already in control.

At her mental nod and warm smile, I crossed the room towards the bed, and sort of half sat, half leaned down, pulling a still half asleep Jake into my arms.

Not unlike how we'd been sitting earlier.

"Hey. It's okay, it's okay," I murmured, holding him close. "Just a nightmare, Midget."

Jake's eyes widened at the sound of my voice.

"Tom?" he asked, hoarsely.

"Yeah." I smoothed some hair out of his face. "Bad dream, huh?"

I loosened my grip, repositioning myself to a sitting position, using the head of his bed as support. Jake remained in a huddled position next to me.

"Temrash...Visser Three..." he began, then stopped as his voice caught.

I nodded, pulling him closer to me. "Sounds awful," I murmured.

"It was just a nightmare." Jake looked up at me, almost embarrassed. "Sorry for waking you, Tom."

I rolled my eyes, moving another piece of hair away from his face. "Oh, please. It's Saturday night. Or Sunday morning. We can sleep in. Not that that would change even if it were a school night. You have a nightmare, you come and get me, okay?" I pressed. "I mean it. That's what I'm here for."

Or, maybe, I should just stay with him when he slept. At least for a few days. Or a week. Long enough so that he knew I wasn't the enemy-well, that Liliss wasn't.

Jake did the slow nod thing again. "Okay," he answered, in a low voice.

I sort of pulled him into my arms, but gently. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"We were at a Sharing meeting. You...were holding me down, and Visser Three had a Yeerk." Jake's voice caught, again. "I couldn't morph. Couldn't escape."

I placed my hands on his shoulders and began to run my hands over them, slowly, gently. "I've had ones like that, Jake. The worst, huh?"

Jake murmured something that sounded like he agreed. Then, he let out a small sigh, not moving, so I continued massaging his shoulders for several minutes. Jake kept his back more or less straight the whole time, but his head slowly flopped over against his chest.

"Feel good?" I asked, gently, and, once again, he murmured something I couldn't quite make out, but sounded affirmative. Suddenly, a memory came to me. "Hey, remember how Mom used to do this when we had a bad dream, or when we were sick?"

Jake gave a little nod, his breathing slowing down. "Yeah."

Slowly, I moved my hands to his upper back, and began to knead that area for awhile.

"Stay with me?" he whispered. "Please?"

"You bet," I promised. "Now, shh. Try to relax," I urged.

Jake laughed. "Not too hard."

"Huh?" I asked, thinking that I was hurting him.

"To relax," he mumbled. "Feels good, Tom."

"Good," I repeated, smiling to myself, still alternating between gently rubbing his shoulders and kneading out the tension underneath.

Jake let out another sigh, and soon, his breathing grew slow and even. Once I was sure he'd falling asleep any minute, I carefully removed my hands from his back, then moved Jake on his side, onto the bed. I wrapped one arm around him in a bear hug, and used the other to tuck the blankets in around us. Then, of course, I wrapped my free arm around him, holding him in a protective hug.

"Thanks," I thought I heard him murmur, just before I fell asleep.

I woke up the next day to a sense of mild confusion at holding Jake in my arms, and then the memory of the previous night returned.

(Bad dream,) I murmured to Liliss, not loosening my hold on Jake.

(Yes. Definitely a nightmare,) she agreed, sounding more awake than I was.

The memory of last night appeared in my mind, not triggered by Liliss. What struck me was how scared, almost panicked, Jake had looked. Even when I'd come in to check on him.

Maybe, especially then.

(It's no wonder he didn't want Temrash with him, if his other dreams were anything like this,) she observed.

(Yeah,) I agreed, grimly. (Bad dreams are one thing, but something like that? At the very least, he'd think Midget had gone crazy.)

(Speaking of which...) Liliss added, sending me a light mental nudge.

Jake was just starting to stir in his sleep. A few seconds later, his eyes opened, then widened when he saw me-and felt me-holding him.

"Hey, Midget," I greeted, trying to keep my voice light. "How'd you sleep?"

Jake's eyes widened even more. His brows wrinkled in confusion, then returned to normal as he must have remembered the previous night.

"Sorry, Tom," he mumbled, not looking at me.

It wasn't fear, though. I'd been apart from Jake for over a year, but I knew embarrassment when I saw it.

Poor kid.

I gave his shoulders a gently squeeze. "Hey. We've been through this, Midget," I chided, gently. "Given everything you've been through, you're going to get nightmares. Heck, I get them, too."

Not as much as before Liliss, sure, but back then, I could have probably given Jake a run for his money.

Not that it was any kind of competition.

Jake nodded, a small amount of relief showing on his face. "Sor-I mean, um, okay."

Well, I guessed that embarrassment at having been "caught" having had a major nightmare in front of his brother was a hell of a lot better than outright terror at said brother.

I hoped that, as we regained our closeness, Jake's embarrassment about something he could hardly control would disappear.

In the meantime...

"You sleep any better afterwards?" I wondered, pretty sure I knew the answer, but wanting to be certain.

He smiled. "Oh, definitely. Way better, Tom."

"Good." I smiled back. "Anyway, I was thinking...you get them a lot, so how about I stay here with you?" At his hesitation, I added, "At least, for the next few days or so? You know, to see if my being there helps you any. If not, we can always go back..."

"You mean it?" Jake asked, almost surprised. Then, he looked down at the bed, then up at me.

I could almost hear what he was thinking. We definitely fit, and easily, too. No surprise, since I was pretty sure we both slept in queen sized beds. They were only a little smaller than our parents, who slept in a king.

"It's not like there isn't room," I pointed out, as though this wasn't obvious. Still, I gestured to the space between myself and the edge of the bed, and then Jake and the edge of his side of the bed. "See? Neither of us are are in much danger of falling off."

For emphasis, I gave Jake a little push, which he returned. Which resulted in me trapping him in a bear hug.

Not much of a trap, since he immediately relaxed against me, even laughing a little.

"So, what do you think?" I pressed, studying my kid brother.

"I mean...it's not...babyish or anything, is it?" Jake wondered.

"Only if you wet the bed. Then, I'm out." At Jake's look of horror, I laughed. "Kidding, kidding. No, Midget. Look, given what you must be going through, plus the fact that I have sort of been the de facto enemy for almost a year, I want to be there for you now. Especially now," I added, with emphasis. "In case you haven't noticed, we've got a lot of time to make up."

"Yeah, a lot," Jake agreed with a sigh, then rested his head against my chest. "Okay. Thanks, Tom."

"You bet." I gave him another squeeze. "Want to just hang out here for a little?"

At his nod, I lay us both back down on the bed. Jake curled himself up against me.

"Well, maybe I could get used to this," Jake laughed.

I tousled his hair. "Good. That's kind of the point."

We remained in bed for another half hour or so, mostly resting, occasionally chatting about non-Yeerk related stuff. It was after 9 when we headed downstairs, which meant that (aside from the time Jake and I had been up the night before) we'd probably gotten at least eleven hours of sleep.

Well, after yesterday, we needed it.

We both poured ourselves a bowl of cereal, drowning it with milk.

Watching me eat must have reminded Liliss about having to go back to the Yeerk Pool soon, because she spoke up.

(You know, Tom, I could go feed this morning, if you want,) she offered. (While Jake finishes his homework or works on the garage or...)

(Hangs out in front of the TV or plays video games?) I finished, with a mental grin. (Yeah, I guess that could work.)

I didn't mention-didn't have to take into account-that she'd be going hours before she officially needed to be there. Since Yeerks start to feel hunger after about two and a half days, and human schedules can be inconsistent or modified by parents, it was an unofficial policy that Yeerks with human hosts would feed whenever they saw fit, in order to avoid starvation. Naturally, if you were going daily or every other day, it would raise eyebrows, but moving your feeding schedule up by a few hours here and there was almost expected. Temrash often complained to me about having to deal with curfews and school, but I noticed that he never let so much as two and a half days pass with me before feeding.

In fact, being starved out from my brother might have been the first time my former Yeerk had ever felt hunger.

Well, the first time in months. Hork-Bajir Controllers' feeding schedules are a lot more regimented, as are Taxxons' (which I knew he'd never had) and Gedds'.

(Probably,) Liliss agreed, (although, were I the Visser sentencing him, I would have made it last much longer.)

I raised my eyebrows. (You're being a little sadistic, there, Liliss.)

(Protective,) she corrected, gently. (You're my host, honey, and we're supposed to care for our hosts. Not break them down into shadows of their former selves. And, well, if that's not a crime in the Yeerk empire, well, it shows just how misguided the empire is.)

(You know, you really don't need to convince me of that,) I deadpanned.

(No,) Liliss noted, with a small sigh. (I suppose not.)

"Hey, Midget," I spoke up, as we piled our bowls in the sink. "Liliss and I were thinking of going to the pool early. You mind?"

Jake raised an eyebrow at me. "Do I mind that my brother is locked in a cage while his Yeerk feeds?"

I raised my hands in mock surrender. "Yeah. Aside from that."

He shrugged. "I guess that makes sense. How long you think you'll be?"

"Two and a half, maybe three hours," I guessed. "Depending on traffic and lines and all that."

(Tell him I'll leave your head when I get back, just to assuage his concerns,) Liliss suggest him.

(I'm not going to use the word "assuage" to my kid brother,) I retorted, with a mental grin. (That sounds so geeky.)

Liliss sent me an image of a Yeerk wearing sunglasses.

Out loud, I added, "Liliss promises to leave my head for a little when we get back. You know, in case you were worried."

This did seem to reassure Jake. I could see the lines clear from his face.

All he said, though, was, "Okay. Great. Yeah, I guess it makes sense for you guys to go now."

"We'll finish up the garage when I get back. You can finish your homework, or watch TV, or whatever in the meantime, okay?" I asked.

"I can finish the English book from hell," Jake laughed.

"Now, Jake," I mock chided, "you know that books that go to hell are exclusively math and maybe science related."

This got an eye roll. "Some English books deserve to go there."

Remembering some of the stuff I had to read in middle school and early high school, I could hardly dispute this fact. "Okay. Guess there's room for them, too."

I got dressed in clothes that would be okay for cleaning the garage, if that still needed to be done when we got back. Jake seemed to have the same idea, but, honestly, a lot of his clothing looked like that.

I noticed something that looked like the shirt from a body suit poke out from his loose long-sleeved t-shirt.

"What's that, Midget?" I wondered.

Jake glanced at his arm, and then grinned, lifting up his shirt. A much tighter one was underneath. "My morphing outfit. We always wear them."

I frowned. "Um...why?"

"Because we can't morph anything but super tight clothes, and none of us want to be naked when we demorph," Jake explained, patiently.

Like this was totally obvious.

I grinned. "Yeah, well. Bet you look like mutant superheroes."

"Shut up," Jake retorted, with a grin. "Like I said. It's that or be naked whenever we demorph."

(Tom,) Liliss warned, before I could even formulate the thought, (you don't want to go there.)

(Okay, okay,) I groaned. (Man, sometimes, it really sucks that you can read all of my thoughts, Liliss.)

(I can also prevent you from embarrassing your brother unnecessarily,) she answered, almost primly.

Of course, I sent her a mental image of an exceptionally hideous looking Yeerk sticking out an enormous tongue.

Really, though, Liliss had a point. What I'd been thinking probably would have crossed a line.

Veering on a somewhat safer topic, I asked, "Wait. What, exactly, happens with your regular clothes when you morph?"

"When we tried to morph them in the beginning, we sort of slid out of them. If we were lucky. For battle morphs, they could get torn to shreds. Now?" Jake just shrugged. "We just remove them before we morph."

"And hide them?" I guessed.

"If we need to wear them to not look weird, yeah. But hiding them creates problems, so..." Jake shrugged. "Someday, we're figure out how to morph regular clothes. And shoes. We can't do anything with shoes."

(Hmm. A possible role to fill,) Liliss suggested.

(Yeah...)

"Ouch." I winced.

"At least, morphing repairs all injuries." Jake shrugged, again. "Rachel found out the hard way."

"Huh? Why would Rachel want to keep her injuries?" I asked, baffled.

Jake pointed to his ears. Or, rather, the part of the ear that almost every girl in the world-or at least my school-gets pierced.

"Ohh." I understood at once. "What happened with that? Does she go to the mall every week or something?"

"I heard her telling Cassie that after the fifth time she had to get her ears pierced again, she figured she'd just wear earrings all the time. It worked, I think?" Jake shrugged. "I guess earrings act like clothes to the ear."

I nodded, glad that this was one thing Jake didn't have to deal with. Sure, some guys pierced one ear, but he'd shown exactly zero interest in that.

"Well," I concluded, "once we get back, we'll finish up with the garage, and you can tell me more morphing stories. I figure if we make the garage look really good, and you get all of your homework done, there's a chance I could convince Mom and Dad to let you off early for good behavior."

"Good behavior?" Jake echoed, grinning at me.

"You know, doing your homework and cleaning up the garage," I explained. "As opposed to morphing bird and hightailing it out of here."

"Which would get me grounded for life," Jake reminded me.

"Well, yeah." I grinned. "Anyway, I will put in a good word for you. As your unofficial prison guard."

"I appreciate it," Jake told me, seriously.

I gave him a hug, which he returned.

The wait at the Yeerk Pool wasn't too long. At least, there weren't a lot of humans there. I suspected that most of the human Controllers with families had church or other family obligations. If more would stop by later, I hoped that Liliss and I would be long gone before then.

Not that this meant it was any quieter than usual. In fact, it might have been louder. We humans tend to give up over time-myself included-but Hork-Bajir tended not to quit.

Temrash had told me that his was too stupid not to fight him, despite receiving increasingly painful mental punishments when he did. Yeerks can do worse than use memory torture.

Liliss heard this thoughts, and pulled me into a mental hug. (That dapsen,) she muttered.

(Wonder if his old host is still alive,) I answered, even as I relaxed into my Yeerk's hug.

After a pause, Liliss replied, (Probably. They don't usually live more than ten years, but Yeerks infest them as soon as they can, and unless Temrash controlled him for most of his life...)

Maybe.

Even now, thinking about my old Yeerk still hurt.

(After what he did to you, I'm hardly surprised,) Liliss told me, responding to my unspoken thoughts.

Yeah. There would probably always be some kind of trauma associated with thinking about that slug. Like a scar from a nasty accident, except at least a hundred times worse.

(At least...I'm glad I have you, now,) I told her.

As though she didn't know.

Liliss smiled at me. (Me too, honey.)

Over the last eight months, I'd asked Liliss about her first human host. I'd only known that she was an older woman, and the Yeerk empire had murdered her because she'd been going blind, and an experimental procedure intended to improve her vision hadn't worked. Or, not well enough for the Yeerks in charge to decide not to murder her.

Anyway, Liliss had been happy to share more details about her. Meg had been a widow when she'd joined The Sharing, and she and her late husband had never been able to have kids. Liliss wasn't Meg's first Yeerk-that had been Mercan 671 of the Sulp Niar Pool. Later, a member of the Peace Movement, but after Liliss had joined. Since Meg had consented to infestation without any struggling, she'd been given a Yeerk without a history of host abuse. Or, whatever the empire called it to both acknowledge and deny that Yeerks could treat their hosts decently and still be good members of the empire. So, by the time Liliss was assigned to Meg (after Mercan had been promoted to a younger host-sound familiar?), she was both cooperative and expecting to be treated well. Which, of course, Liliss did.

I'd asked Liliss how soon Meg had been murdered after her failed operation. She'd hesitated before explaining that she hadn't been in her host during the surgery, because it coincided with her feeding time, and the Yeerk doctors didn't think there was any reason to wait. Most likely, after Meg woke up, the doctors quickly learned that the operation hadn't gone well, and then killed her.

(I can only hope it was painless for her,) Liliss had confided to me. (And that she was unaware of being killed. I've heard rumors of this. After a host goes through a procedure, they will provide an additional anesthetic once they have the necessary information, and then kill the host after he or she falls asleep. It's easier for the host, that way. More importantly, it's easier for them. Less chance of the host fighting back.)

Maybe it was because I was used to hearing about the atrocities the Yeerk empire committed, but I had been more surprised that Yeerks would even bother with operations, unless they were sure of a good outcome.

(Human medicine can be tricky, and Yeerk medicine is mostly a combination of what we've learned from hacking Andalite computers and the greatest scientists we've managed to infest,) Liliss had explained. (Time and money is nothing compared to a voluntary host body. If you ever encounter sub-Visser 51, and I hope we don't...well, you wouldn't notice it, but most of her host's body was operated on. Something about a fire and extreme damage...at least, that's the rumor. I don't know much about the girl, but the Yeerk is nearly as bad as Visser Three.)

(With our luck, she'll become the new one if he ever gets killed or promoted,) I'd joked, darkly.

(Yes. I wouldn't doubt it.)

These happy thoughts swam around in my mind as I waited in my-for once-half empty cage. The other temporary occupants were a boy who looked like he was nine or ten, two adult men who were probably in their 20's, and a small girl with blond hair past her waist. No older than six, I was sure. The kids were screaming, but the adults looked like they were actually trying to have a conversation.

Yeah. Good luck with that.

After what felt like ten hours but was really only two, the guards opened the cage and grabbed me. As usual, I didn't fight, but I also didn't make it easy for them. Liliss and I had both agreed that it would be better for us if I acted the same way I had before. A broken host who didn't fight, but didn't cooperate. The way one of the guards grabbed my arm for a minute, I was sure he was going to dislocate my shoulder, but the other one said something to him, and he stopped. Probably a warning that my Yeerk would have his blades if he hurt me.

Even Yeerks with involuntary hosts can be fiercely protective-of their host body, anyway.

After all, a host's physical pain becomes a Yeerk's pain when the slug is back in charge, after all.

The line for reinfestation consisted of mostly involuntary hosts who were being restrained by pool guards, and voluntary hosts (almost all human, but an occasional Hork-Bajir slipped in) who the guards left alone. When it came time for the voluntary hosts to receive their Yeerk, the guard would hold their head in place (probably protocol), but gently, and maybe even helpfully. They also had ample time to take in a deep breath, or the option to their head on their side.

My turn came quickly enough, and the guard forced my head on my side so that I wouldn't have the opportunity to try and kill myself. Not that I would have, now, but the guards didn't need to know this.

I could sort of see Liliss moving around in the pool, swimming towards my head. A grey green colored slug, maybe six inches long. Identical to thousands of others in the same pool...and yet, so not.

It probably wasn't accurate to say that she saved my life. The pool guards kept my body alive, every three days.

But, she saved my sanity. Gave me hope. Helped me to move my body again. Treated me way better than I could have expected from a Yeerk.

We were friends.

Jake was in the garage when I returned, and it looked almost finished.

"Hey, Midget!" I called, stepping inside.

"Hi, Tom," he replied.

(I'll leave your head now. Just, try not to let me dry up,) Liliss reminded me.

(Don't worry. If it's more than a few minutes, I'll put you in some water,) I reassured her.

It probably won't be, though.

"She's about to leave my head," I reminded Jake, who nodded.

About ten seconds later, Liliss emerged from my head, and I carefully placed her in my hand. At first, her body's all stretched out and thin from being in my brain, but almost immediately, she sort of bounced back to her regular shape.

"It's okay," I assured Jake, holding Liliss in both of my hands. "It's still her."

Jake nodded, then crossed the few feet to study her. "I don't think I ever saw a Yeerk this close before. When he..." Jake swallowed hard, then continued, "he just sort of shriveled up and became dust after leaving my ear."

Bursting into flames would have been a more accurate fate for him, but if there was a hell, Temrash was definitely there.

I placed a hand over Jake's shoulder. "I'm here, you know."

He nodded, again. "Well, um, I guess you should put her back in?"

"Yeah, otherwise, she'll dry up. That's why I had the glass of water, yesterday," I explained. Then, I held Liliss up to my ear, and felt her crawl in.

Once again, she didn't take control, just connected to my mind and accessed my senses.

(Thanks, honey,) she murmured. (I don't mind the pool so much, but when I'm not in a host-in your head-well, it's strange. I guess I feel more helpless.)

That made sense. The pool was a lot more protected than my hands, or a glass of water. She knew that I wouldn't hurt her, but I couldn't necessarily prevent others from doing this.

(I figure this won't be a regular thing,) I promised.

(Yes. Besides, it's important to earn their trust,) agreed Liliss.

"The garage looks great," I told Jake, looking around. "I think you're about finished."

"We just need to move those boxes. They're kind of heavy, so I thought we could do that together." Jake pointed to three that definitely look like a two person job. "Mom called when I was doing English. She said that she and Dad will be home around 2."

I looked at my watch. It was a little after 12:30.

I nodded. "Okay. Also, once we move those, we should get lunch. I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

Jake laughed. "Now that you mention it..."

Needless to say, we made short work of the boxes, and then I parked both of the cars inside.

Mission accomplished.

By the time we had finished selecting our slices, there were two pieces of pizza leftover.

"Good thing we got the second box," Jake mumbled through a mouthful of pizza.

"I'd have made grilled cheese sandwiches, otherwise. Or, you know. Find something else in the fridge," I teased. "And careful, Midget. You don't want to choke."

Jake both grinned and rolled his eyes at me, but the next bite he took was a little smaller.

(Sweet kid,) Liliss murmured.

(Yeah. Can't believe he's fourteen already,) I mused.

Among other things.

Jake spoke up again. "Does your Yeerk enjoy eating?"

"You know, I hadn't really asked her before..."

(I do,) Liliss agreed. (I eat much different foods with you than with Meg. She loved sweet foods. Always kept some candy in her house. Also, a roll of lifesavers in her purse.)

(I like sweets,) I protested.

(Yes, but she loved them. Always ate a bowl of ice cream after dinner, for instance.) Liliss smiled at the memory. (Her food choices, for nutrition, were fairly standard, but plain. She never ate spicy foods. Partly because of the taste, mostly because of heartburn. She also was a vegetarian.)

(That's definitely not me,) I laughed.

(I know.) Another mental smile. (I enjoy being exposed to various foods, through you.)

"Tom?" Jake asked.

I pointed to my head. "Checking my source. Basically, yeah. She likes eating."

Jake nodded. "Cool."

I half expected him to continue, maybe with a comment or another question, but he didn't.

Well, this was probably new to him. Living with the enemy for over a year, and finding out that the enemy wasn't really the enemy for the past eight months.

(He's already come pretty far,) Liliss soothed. Then, jokingly, she added, (It took you longer. Not that you didn't have every reason not to trust me.)

(And he was infested with Temrash, of all Yeerks. Might have been easier if he'd gotten someone like you. Of course, then he'd have to deal with the guilt of starving out a decent Yeerk...)

Yeah. There hadn't really been a good choice, there. I'd have preferred Jake to remain uninfested, and I knew that Jake felt the same way.

A memory came to mind of a mysterious phone call Liliss and I had received about a week after she became my Yeerk.

By then, I'd made some progress with being able to control my body. In the week I'd had her, I'd gone from five minutes to almost ten. Unfortunately, after ten minutes, I'd needed a mental nap-usually at least three hours-almost immediately afterwards.

I'd just woken up from this mental nap. I'd been aware of Liliss working on my History homework in the kitchen when the phone rang.

"Yeah?" she'd asked, just like I would have.

"I have a message," came this bizarre voice.

(I hope Mom and Dad are okay,) I'd murmured to Liliss. (Oh, God, what if it's Jake?)

It sounded like one of those voices you hear during scary movies when there's a hostage being taken.

(Honey,) Liliss had soothed, (I'm sure they're fine.)

"What?" she'd asked, out loud.

Trying to keep my voice from shaking.

"Don't give up, Tom. Don't ever give up."

Before Liliss could have reacted, the phone line had gone dead.

We'd both gone silent in my mind.

Who had it been? A prank call? Someone who-this had seemed laughable-known about the Yeerks? That I was a Controller?

Probably just a prank call.

Now, I spoke up. Needing to know.

"Midget?" I asked, trying to keep my voice normal, even though there was no need to act around Jake.

He looked up from the pizza he'd been devouring. Swallowed. "Yeah?"

"Um, about a week after I was assigned to Liliss, I was home alone. It was in the afternoon. We got this bizarre phone call. Totally weird voice. He told us that he had a message for Tom-"

"Don't give up, Tom," Jake interrupted me. "Don't ever give up."

I blinked. "That was you?"

Jake nodded, and I could see tears in his eyes. I got up from my chair and walked over to him. Put a hand around his shoulder. Then, he stood up and nearly crushed me in a bear hug that had to have lasted the better part of a minute. He let go, took a long breath, then let it out. I kept an arm around his shoulder.

"After...after I'd been infested with your Yeerk, I knew that you'd given up," Jake began, and I could see how hard he was working to keep his voice steady. "We couldn't starve your new one. I knew that. I had a better sense of how the empire did stuff...and we'd only get you killed or given another Yeerk..."

I squeezed his shoulder. "I know. I understand, Midget."

Jake nodded. "But, I wanted-I needed-to give you some hope. So, we used Cassie's dad's cell phone, and I went part way into wolf morph. Enough to disguise my voice."

I had to grin. "That worked. You sounded almost like a serial killer. When you first spoke, about having a message, I'd been terrified that you or Mom or Dad had been kidnapped."

Jake paled. "Oh, no."

"It's okay," I reassured him. "You got to the point pretty quickly."

"Did it...help?" Jake asked.

"Sometimes," I answered, truthfully. "When I was working to relearn how to use my body. It would have been more powerful if I didn't have Liliss."

I gave Jake a small smile to let him know I was sort of teasing.

"Yeah," Jake laughed. "I hadn't thought you'd get a decent Yeerk."

I squeezed his hand. "There were only twenty other Yeerks in the Peace Movement at the time. I sort of won the lottery, there. Of course, Temrash was worse than usual, and we both got him, so maybe I was due for some good luck."

He sighed. "We all were."

Well, yeah.

Okay, so that was one mystery solved. The strange voice had been Jake, trying to give me hope. I wondered how much courage it had taken, how much he'd argued with his friends, for them to agree to go through with it. After all, it had been Cassie's dad's phone.

"Your friends were okay with it? The call?" I pressed.

"Marco thought it was crazy, but he didn't object too much. We figured that with the unknown number and the wolf morph, it was about as safe as some of our other missions had been. And, it didn't get us captured..." Jake trailed off.

"Liliss didn't even use star 69," I recalled. "You were fine, Jake. And, hey. Thank you. Like I said, that took a lot."

It had, too. I realized this, now.

I'd been focused on my pain over the past six months, and getting as much of my life back as I could. Which was, I felt, understandable. I also knew, now, that Jake was struggling with his own demons as he fought the war.

It kind of just dawned on me how awful it had been for him, thinking that your brother was a perpetual slave, and having to live with him and face him every day.

Every. Single. Day.

I stood up and gave him another bear hug.

"Hey. We're going to win this, okay? And, you know, you have me, now."

Jake didn't say anything, just rested his head on my shoulder for awhile.

Finally, we sat back down and finished the pizza.

(You have a good brother, Tom,) Liliss told me. (And you are a good brother.)

I turned a little red. (Thanks, Liliss.)

With the garage clean and our homework finished, Jake took a quick shower and then we decided how to make the best use of our hour or so before our parents came back.

"I'm kind of sick of watching TV," Jake admitted.

I gave him a little nudge. "Says the first teenager ever. Okay, Midget. What do you want to do?"

He considered. "How about a video game?"

"Sure, but I'm warning you, I've had no practice in almost a year, so you'll probably win."

"I'll accept my easy win with good sportsmanship," Jake kidded.

I rolled my eyes. "I never said it would be easy, Midget. Just that you'd probably win."

Jake just grinned. "Uh huh."

Once upstairs in Jake's room, we took spots on his bed, controllers (ha) in hand. I was kind of glad he'd suggested this, because even though I could manage control for at least four hours at a time with regular tasks, I still had trouble with ones that required dexterity. My basketball playing, in particular, was about 75% of where it had been before, which put me at "great" without "wow, that kid has a GIFT" level. At least I didn't drop ordinary objects or have trouble with weight lifting. It was more that if something required special skills and concentration, I definitely wasn't myself.

Not that I wasn't improving, but I knew I had a long way to go.

Video gaming with Midget would give me some practice.

Plus, bonding time with my kid brother.

After some debate, Jake and I settled on this racing game.

"It will help your nonexistent driving skills," I teased. "Unless..."

Jake grinned. "Nope, I'm pleading the fifth on that. For me and all the other Animorphs."

"Aw, you're no fun," I teased. "You know I wouldn't tell Mom and Dad."

But he wouldn't budge.

Despite having a couple of years of experience behind the wheel on my side, Jake beat me pretty easily. Granted, he and Marco had probably played before, and I could only assume that race car driving was nothing like regular driving. Well, there were probably similarities if you were on the freeway, but the similarities ended there.

Not that I minded too much. Like I said. Time with Midget, plus, a chance to improve my hand-eye coordination.

(You've really improved, honey,) Liliss told me. (I wouldn't be surprised if you were at your pre-infestation level in six more months.)

(We'll be on the team before then,) I pointed out, a little glumly.

The season would begin in three months.

(Well, I'll use gentle control if you're not where you want to be, and we can practice more,) she promised.

(Is it cheating to let your Yeerk do that for you?) I wondered.

(Not if another Yeerk stole your abilities,) Liliss answered, reasonably. (In fact, you'd probably be even better if you hadn't been infested. But, don't worry. We'll get there.)

(Okay,) I agreed, simply.

It was hard to stay pessimistic with Liliss, especially when I knew how much improvement I'd already made.

Mom and Dad came back just after we'd finished the third game (I was pretty sure Jake let me win). We headed downstairs as soon as we heard them enter the house.

Mom pulled us both into long hugs, which was a little unexpected, but I wasn't going to reject a hug from my mom. Dad did the same, afterwards, although his were shorter.

"The garage looks incredible," Mom complimented, and Dad agreed.

"Well, Tom helped," Jake admitted, turning to me.

"Even with his help, I'd expected it to take all weekend," Dad smiled. "I'm officially impressed."

I put an arm around Jake's shoulder. "We also went over his math, and he should be good for the next quiz."

Mom and Dad beamed.

(Should I ask them now?) I wondered.

(Now would probably be the best time,) Liliss assured me, grinning.

"So, in light of this, I was wondering if Jake and I could head out for a little this afternoon," I blurted.

Mom and Dad exchanged their parent glances.

"I guess it's okay," Mom agreed. "Steve, what do you think?"

"Well," Dad laughed, "if your mother says it's okay, I'm not going to be the bad guy and say no."

"Just be back by curfew," Mom added. "Jake's curfew, not Tom's."

Which was 9:00PM on a Sunday night. Mine was 11.

We both nodded, and I hoped we'd be back well before then. If we ended up missing dinner, well, I could stop at McDonalds. No, come to think of it, probably Wendy's.

"I just need to make a quick call," Jake added.

I nodded, figuring he would be calling Cassie. Maybe some of the others. "Okay, let me know when you're ready to go. I'll be in my room."

"Notice," Dad stage whispered, "how they will do anything to get out of spending time with us."

I raised my eyebrows. "Says the parent who left us home alone for almost two days. By the way, there are two pieces of pizza leftover."

Dad seemed to perk up at this.

Jake came by about ten minutes later. I'd spent the time trying to read ahead in the book assigned for English, but hadn't gotten very far. To be honest, I was sort of worried. Would Jake's friends trust me? What if they tried to starve Liliss out? Or, had someone infest me, just to be sure?

Liliss had me in a mental hug before these thoughts could get too dark, but they were hardly invalid. They had starved out Temrash, an action I fully supported, but that didn't mean they wouldn't do it again.

(They let Aftran go, and Cassie was stuck as a caterpillar,) Liliss soothed me.

That was true. Reassuring, even.

Jake sort of knocked on my door, even though it was open. "Cassie says we can come over."

I nodded. "And the others?"

"Yeah, they'll be there." Jake paused, then added, "I think it will be okay. But, Ax will probably be in his Andalite body."

"Well, I've seen Visser Three before," I pointed out.

"Yeah, and the first time got you infested and the second time almost got you killed." Jake paused. "Thanks for that, by the way. You kind of saved our lives."

I laughed. "Had I known it was you, Midget, I would have really gone up against him. No one messes with my kid brother and lives. I would have got him where the sun doesn't shine."

"He was shooting fireballs," Jake reminded me.

"Yeah, how come you don't have any cool morphs like that?" I teased, tousling his hair.

We left the room, then, and he went quiet until we got into the car. Then, Jake sort of continued the conversation.

"We had dinosaur morphs when we ended up in the last dinosaur period. They didn't stick when we returned," Jake added, like this was completely normal.

"You're kidding."

"No. It was...um, maybe a month ago? Feels like longer."

"Well, sure, it was technically millions of years ago," I pointed out, starting the car. "I want a full account. Now. Please."

Needless to say, this hadn't been covered in Jake's two hour version of events.

Well, I guessed the kid couldn't remember everything at once. But, man. Time travel?

What else had I not known about?

Jake was just finishing the story about the Mercora and the Nesk-of course, the ant creatures had found a way to survive-when we arrived at Cassie's barn.

I tried not to feel too worried. These were the good guys, after all.

Still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will probably be the last, but I have decided to make this a series. The next work in the series will be a one-shot from Jake's point of view that takes place immediately after this work ends. A "1.5" piece, if you will.
> 
> Thanks for all of the kind and thoughtful comments and the kudos! I've really enjoyed writing this story and hearing your thoughts. :)


	11. Chapter 11

Jake knocked on the barn door, and Cassie immediately opened the door. As we entered, she gave us each a brief smile, but I felt like she was giving me (and Liliss) a wide berth. Not that I could completely blame her. Until an hour ago, she had seen me-my Yeerk-as the enemy. It was possible that she still did.

Looking around, it was easy to see why they chose this place for meetings. Tons of animals were available for acquiring, and I expected that there would be way less chance of being disturbed than meeting in someone's bedroom.

We'd been the last to arrive. I immediately noticed the red tailed hawk perched up high, plus the Andalite Jake had called "Ax" standing slightly apart from the others. Then, there was Rachel and Marco and Cassie, who, I noticed, now had a glass of water beside her. For Liliss, no doubt. Jake remained next to me, his shoulders almost touching mine. Potentially overprotective-I hoped-but sweet.

"This is Tom," Jake began, once everyone had given us awkward "hellos", "and his Yeerk, Liliss..."

He turned to me, and I realized that I either hadn't told or he'd forgotten the designation of my Yeerk.

(325,) Liliss finished inside my head, softly.

"325," I answered, with a smile. "Oh, um, just for the record, it's me, Tom. It will be me, unless Liliss says otherwise. When it's not totally necessary for her to be in control, she usually gives me free reign."

At least, that's how it was now. Probably best not to get into a long conversation about how it took me months to retain the ability to move and speak on my own for increasingly longer periods of time. Not yet, anyhow.

(How generous of her,) came Ax's voice.

I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or sincere, so I decided to keep any snarky comments to myself.

"Liliss has been my Yeerk for a little over eight months," I continued. "Right after Temrash was promoted, and then killed, thanks to you guys." I managed a grin. "Believe me, you did everyone a favor, there. I got a sense of how much he hurt Jake, and if you hadn't destroyed the pool, he'd be making our governor's life a living hell."

It seemed like everyone-well, the three humans, anyway-kind of relaxed upon hearing this.

Which made me wonder. Had they actually been worried that I would have objected to them killing my old Yeerk? After what he'd done to me and Jake? Sure, you could make the "sentient being" argument, but we were in a defensive war, and this particular Yeerk had tortured me and my brother.

His death couldn't have come too soon.

"Liliss," I added, trying to calm myself down, "is pretty much the opposite of my first Yeerk. Or most empire Yeerks."

"She was in the Peace Movement long before she infested Tom," Jake added, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Her first human host was murdered by the empire. That's how she was assigned to Tom."

The others looked, if not shaken, at least alarmed by this news.

(Why in the world would the empire murder a human host?) asked Tobias.

(Tom, may I? With gentle control?) Liliss asked.

I gave her a mental nod. (Sure, go ahead.)

"It's Liliss," my Yeerk began. "I am using something that you might not be aware of, called 'gentle control'. It allows me to access Tom's body functions without taking control away from him. While I am using his voice, he can intervene at any time."

"Like I'm doing now," I added, easily.

Not that they could check for themselves, but...

"Yes. To answer your question, Tobias, the empire murdered my previous host because she had a degenerative eye illness that had progressed to the point of it being dangerous to live alone. Or, rather, without another human," Liliss corrected herself. "As soon as we discovered this, we scheduled an experimental procedure intended to restore some of her vision, and eventually, all of it. It was not a success, which I found out later, in the pool. They sent me a message stating that she'd been disposed of."

I could feel my voice shake, even a couple of tears build up in my eyes. I was sure they were Liliss'. She was the one with the connection to Meg, after all.

(Yes,) Ax agreed, almost coldly. (A blind host, in a world containing billions, is of no great use to the empire, and a potential drain on resources. This course of action is consistent with the Yeerk empire.)

"I was a member of the Peace Movement before I infested Tom, but not before I infested Meg, my first human host," Liliss explained. "She was voluntary, and we were very close."

"Why'd you join the Peace Movement, if you already had a voluntary host?" Marco wondered, eyebrows raised.

"Because, long before Meg was murdered, I could see that what the empire was doing was not right. I had a Gedd as my first host, and having evolved with them, they generally do not resist infestation. After my Gedd, though, I had a Hork-Bajir who was resistant. To put it mildly. My superiors told me that not every host would be compliant, and I should not let it deter me from doing my duties to the empire." Liliss sighed. "And I believed them."

"It's hard not to, when you're born into that," Cassie pointed out. "Aftran told me that, to most Yeerks, humans are just meat."

Liliss nodded my head. "She is correct, but I was born into an earlier pool than your friend, Aftran. We were not indoctrinated with these beliefs when I was spawned. I take responsibility for having infested an involuntary host. I later determined to try my best to make up for this with my later actions."

No one pointed out that this didn't help the Hork-Bajir, but I had a feeling that they were thinking it.

(Probably,) Liliss told me, privately.

(I mean...it wasn't right, but you probably didn't know better at the time, right? And you didn't hurt him, did you?) I asked.

(Mostly, I ignored him. By empire standards, this was incredibly generous. Thank you, Tom, but I need to take some personal responsibility for my actions,) she answered, gently.

Liliss stopped talking, gauging the reactions. Cassie and Rachel were nodding. Marco looked intent, but not angry or disbelieving. Jake was smiling, at least a little. As for Ax and Tobias? Well, it was hard to read the reaction of a red-tailed hawk or an Andalite.

After Liliss finished scanning the room, she continued with her explanation. "Once I told Aftran that I had a human host with a younger brother, she began to ask me all sorts of questions. What did each of them look like. How long had my host been enslaved? Was he now voluntary-to me? Had his previous Yeerk attempted to persuade his family to join The Sharing? What was his name, and the name of his brother?" Liliss laughed. "It would have been easier had she asked those last questions, first. We quickly determined that the Jake (my last name) who was leading the Animorphs was the same one whose brother was...well, my host. Who I'd been helping for over five months." Another laugh, almost a giggle. It felt strange, coming from my voice. "We were thrilled, because it meant that the Peace Movement had a member with a connection to the Animorphs. It also meant that, once Jake trusted Tom and me, we could provide information and support."

Rachel, looking first at me and then at my kid brother, nodded. "Okay. Makes sense."

"Liliss," Cassie spoke up, slowly. "Would you be willing to leave Tom's head? So we can talk to him directly?"

"Of course," she answered, with a smile. "I simply require a liquid environment if you will be more than a few minutes with him."

Cassie handed me the glass of water. "This okay?"

"Yes, that's perfectly sufficient," Liliss assured Cassie.

(See you soon, I hope,) I told Liliss.

(Don't worry, honey. They're on our side,) Liliss promised me, as she began to disconnect from my brain.

Less than a minute later, she emerged from my ear, and I put my hand over her before she could fall. Then, I placed her in the glass of water.

"Ew," Marco observed, looking at her and making a face. "That looks like some stretched out chewing gum. Or maybe slime."

I snorted, in spite of myself, remembering those kids game shows. It wasn't the worst comparison, to be honest. mean, okay, they were basically comparing my Yeerk-my friend-to gum or slime, but it wasn't totally off.

"Dark slime, maybe," I allowed, with a laugh.

Thankfully, Liliss resumed her regular shape within seconds.

"Okay, that's marginally better," Marco agreed, watching her. "Dark greenish grey, but lacking the slime component."

(Can we please get back to the task at hand before we start talking about what Tom's Yeerk resembles?) Tobias grumbled. (Or we could be here all night.)

"All week," Rachel put in.

"All year," Cassie added, grinning.

I laughed. "Yeah, yeah. It's a universal fact that Yeerks are ugly. Fortunately, this one isn't ugly inside."

(She was telling the truth?) Ax asked, focusing his stalk eyes on me, along with his regular eyes.

He reminded me a little of Visser Three, even though he was a lot smaller, and didn't radiate evil.

I tried not to fixate on the similarities.

"I don't know everything about her former hosts," I admitted, with a shrug. "She's offered to show me memories, but I don't even want her to replay any of my good memories. Not yet, anyway. What I know is, she's been with me for over six months and not only hasn't hurt me, she's been helping me." I sort of gestured to my body. "I couldn't be in control without mental fatigue for more than five minutes, at the beginning. And, as soon as she entered my head, she'd seen how Temrash had treated me, and I could feel her horror." I glanced at Jake. "Like I said. It's been months. She's never hurt me. And, believe me, I didn't start off trusting her. It took a long, long time for that to happen."

"When I found out," Jake added, standing close to me, "it was through Tom, directly. She left his ear and I saw him put her in a glass of water."

"And put her back in my head later," I reminded him.

"Yeah," Jake agreed, with a smile. "No Controllers came in and forced Tom to do it."

I made a face. "Yeah, thank God for that."

There was a momentary silence, which my cousin broke.

"Is she in your head all the time?" Rachel wanted to know. "I mean, except for feeding."

"Yeah, until we told Jake," I explained. "But Jake and I want to spend some time together, without her in my head. She's cool with that."

(I don't think she could do any more, honestly,) Tobias admitted.

"Ax-man?" Midget turned back to the Andalite. "What do you think?"

(If it's a ruse, it is a long and drawn out one,) he answered, slowly. (Had she known about Prince Jake beforehand, I would be more likely to suspect her. However, Cassie has met a Yeerk who she convinced to free her human, and we have learned that there are others like her. Moreover, this Yeerk having been part of the Peace Movement long before Cassie met Aftran speaks well of her. I believe that, as much as a Yeerk can be trusted, this Liliss can be trusted. With appropriate verification of her sources,) Ax added. (If she claims one thing and the Chee are adamantly opposed to its veracity, we might have a problem.)

"Right. Well, since she only knew of us for a few days, it might be awhile before she can be accused of spreading misinformation," Marco objected. "Otherwise, sure. Proceed with caution, yadda yadda yadda. Right, oh fearless leader?"

Realizing he meant Midget, I turned to Jake for a second to give him a grin.

"Who, Midget?" I asked. "Jake, you're making them call you that?"

"No!" Jake practically huffed.

(He does not even permit me to call him Prince Jake,) Ax added.

Fortunately, I knew enough about Andalite ranks to get the context. That wouldn't stop be from ribbing my kid brother, just a little.

"You'd prefer Your Highness?" I teased.

Jake gave me a scowl that turned into a grin. "Don't give them any ideas."

He gave Marco a pointed look when he said this.

Marco raised his hands in surrender. I noticed that they extended about to the top of my head. Marco was several inches smaller than Jake, but with luck, he would get a growth spurt.

Partly to get back to the topic at hand, and partly because I didn't want to keep Liliss in the water any longer than necessary, I spoke up. "Before I put her back in my head, is there anything else you want to know?"

They all shook their heads, so I put Liliss to my ear. After a brief sting, my ear went numb, and...well, like Marco said, yadda yadda yadda.

(Looks like they think you're legit,) I told her, after she'd made the connection.

(I'm glad. And, I'm relieved that you didn't have to be infested by any of them, honey,) Liliss murmured. (I know you were worried about that.)

(Yeah. Not being infested by my kid brother or one of his friends is a definite perk,) I agreed. (I mean. Couldn't be worse than Temrash, but, yeah. Let's not unless we have to.)

(I agree wholeheartedly,) Liliss reassured me.

For the next half hour or so, having decided to trust us, the Animorphs took turns asking us questions. The tone was considerably lighter, now, but there was still the all too real sense that it was us against the Yeerk empire.

Saving the world.

Marco wanted to know about Visser One. At first, I wasn't sure why, until I remembered Jake mentioning that his mom was her host body. Guess she hadn't drowned after all.

"I don't know," Liliss admitted, gently. "I, personally, never met her. But, if there's any word, I promise to let you know."

Ax was curious about whether the Yeerks were trying to infest other life forms from Earth. They'd known about horses and sharks, although the latter had to be modified.

"I don't think they're likely to pursue any other animals. Your closest relative is the chimpanzee, and while those might be preferred to Gedds if humans didn't exist, it's unlikely to be an empire project." Liliss shrugged my shoulders. "However, you can never know what Visser Three is thinking."

"Or isn't," Jake added, with a grin.

Liliss laughed. "Exactly."

"Liliss," Cassie spoke up, "I know that Aftran isn't going to spill the beans about us being human kids, but she told me before we made our deal that some Yeerks had already suspected that the 'Andalite Bandits' were human. Do you know much about this?"

Here, Liliss nodded my head. "Numerous Yeerks who were witness to any of your attacks suspect as much. In part, because you only use Earth creatures, even Aximili. However, it's something that would get you reprimanded by Visser Three-on a good day. In any event, if there's a united story about you being humans, it's something along the lines of you being soldiers in the United States military. Perhaps, retired soldiers. The idea that human children could accomplish anything close to what you have done, well, it hasn't crossed their minds."

"Never underestimate the power of teenagers to do massive destruction," Marco laughed.

Liliss nodded, laughing as well. "It's not something that you need to worry about. Aftran is firmly Peace Movement, now, and wanting to recruit as many Yeerks to our side as she can. I wouldn't be surprised if we surpassed one hundred soon. We have to use caution, of course. I'm sure there are many more Yeerks who share our ideals than those who know someone in the Peace Movement."

"What about Yeerks with hosts who are willing to fight?" Rachel interjected. "How many of those do you have?"

I spoke up, knowing the answer. "It's Tom. Um. Not nearly as many. Maybe twenty, if that. And not even half have access to Dracon beams. It's sort of a long term game."

It was obvious that the others were disappointed by this answer, but lying wouldn't really accomplish anything. Besides, like Liliss had said, our membership was definitely growing. It wasn't a given that it was only a matter of time, but...

After awhile, things broke up. The others had homework and families, I guessed, and right now, there wasn't a lot to discuss. Today was about showing them that Liliss and I were allies, and I thought that had gone pretty well.

As we left, though, I couldn't deny that I was feeling kind of drained. I'd been glad that Liliss had been in control for most of the time, because it would have been almost seven hours using my body. I wasn't ready for that.

Yet.

Jake and I got into the car, and I checked the clock on the dashboard.

"Well, we're probably going to miss dinner. Want to do fast food?" I asked.

"Sure," Jake agreed, easily enough. "Any place in particular?"

"Wendy's," I answered, automatically. "Not only is the food way better, there are no Yeerk connections."

Jake laughed. "I'm in."

Liliss and I remembered that there was one not too far off, so I drove in that direction until we found it.

"Want to eat inside?" I suggested, and Jake nodded.

As soon as we left the car, Jake pulled me into a massive hug. I squeezed back, briefly tousling his hair.

"Not that I mind, Midget, but what was that for?" I asked, once we'd separated.

Jake looked a little sheepish. "Oh, I guess I'm just glad that, you know. You're back. That it's us, again. I mean, her, too, but, not like before." He grinned, then added, "Besides, it's been almost three hours since we last hugged."

"Think the universe might blow up if we had waited another hour?" I teased.

Jake rolled his eyes, and I wrapped an arm around Jake's shoulder. "You know, I can't believe what a hard year it's been for you."

"You too," Jake murmured, leaning against me. "And before, too."

"Yeah. But, somehow, I think things are getting better." I tousled Jake's hair again, and he gave me a grin.

"We still got a long way to go."

"I know," I told him, more seriously. "Remember, Midget. I'm here for you. I'm always here for you."

He nodded, and we headed inside the restaurant, my arm still around his shoulders.

Jake didn't protest.

I was the only one with much cash on me, so I paid.

"I need to get Mom or Dad to sign me up for a debit card," I noted, as we carried the piles of food to an empty booth and sat down.

"Why's that?" Jake asked, just before biting into his burger.

"Connects to your bank. They've been paying me since I became a full member, but he never spent much, and neither does she. Just gas for the car, mostly. It's been piling up. I'd like to be able to use some of it without having to go into a bank and do the whole withdrawal slip, you know?" I explained. "Besides, I'll be getting a credit card in a couple of years, and this will help me keep track of my money. Responsibility and all of that."

What I didn't add was that I could probably use some of my earnings to help the Animorphs. I knew Jake well enough that he'd refuse. Or have a hard time convincing. But they could probably use extra morphing outfits, maybe sandals or flip flops for missions, and other stuff that had slipped my mind at the moment. Not to mention that if we ever had to go completely into hiding-probably in the Horn-Bajir valley-we'd need a stash of food.

Morphing and eating doesn't totally work with your basic nutrition needs, and I could see that Jake could already stand to gain some weight.

"Want to stop for ice cream?" I suggested, after we had finished.

"Sounds good!" he agreed, grinning.

"Let's pick up some for Mom and Dad, too," I added.

"To thank them for my early release?" Jake guessed.

I tousled his hair. "Smart kid."

Since there was an ice cream place about five minutes from our house, and we'd taken family trips there, I went there. Sure, Wendy's had some ice cream flavors, but this place had more to choose from. Plus, extra toppings.

The store wasn't too crowded for a Sunday evening, but there was still a short line.

"What are you having?" I asked.

"Chocolate, with sprinkles," Jake answered, without hesitation. "What about you?"

"I'm in the mood for cookies and cream, also with sprinkles. Maybe chocolate chips, too," I added, contemplatively. "Mom will want strawberry, and Dad will want--"

"Mint chocolate chip," he finished, grinning. "Don't forget the chocolate shell for Dad."

"Thanks for the reminder." I grinned. "I figure we should bypass cones and order larges to go. You mind?"

Jake shook his head.

I placed our orders to a short girl with curly brown hair, specifying it was to go. Minutes later, we had paid and Jake was carrying the container in the car while I drove.

Since it only took five minutes to get home, all of the ice cream arrived without much damage. Mom and Dad were pleasantly surprised with their ice cream, and we sat down and devoured our desserts over the kitchen table.

It was probably the first really carefree time we had eaten together in over a year.

Jake had to know this. Did my parents? What would they think when they eventually learned the truth? I hoped that they would be proud. Especially of Jake.

(More than Jake,) Liliss reminded me, reading my thoughts. (Of you, too, honey.)

I sent her a mental eye roll. (Right. They'd be really proud of me for getting infested.)

(You fought your Yeerk. Let your brother know that something was wrong,) Liliss pointed out. (You even tried to fight Visser Three!)

(Still gave up after six months. I broke down. Gave up. Couldn't even make it to seven. Six is average, you know,) I argued.

(Six months of being unable to control your body. Except for a couple of hours at a time, when you were confined to a cage. Six months where no one had any idea what you were going through, because we're so good at impersonating our hosts,) Liliss sighed. (Besides, Tom, you're not broken anymore.)

(That's thanks to you,) I allowed, with a hint of a mental smile.

(And you. Not that I know personally, except from my time with you, but the Yeerks of the Peace Movement say that host rehabilitation takes the time, effort, and trust of both parties,) Liliss countered.

I thought about that for a minute. (Maybe.)

(Besides, you'll be helping Jake now. Providing him with any information we can give him, as well as plenty of big brother support,) Liliss added. (It's going to take a lot of time.)

(How awful. Helping him with homework, being an ear for him, giving him hugs,) I deadpanned. (I don't know why I signed up for this.)

She laughed. (I know you two were close before. You'll be inseparable by the end of the war.)

Liliss probably wouldn't be wrong about that. Already, I didn't want to let Jake out of my sight. Which was impossible, since, for starters, I was in high school and he was still in middle school.

(You know,) Liliss mused, a few minutes later, as we ate the last of the cone, (ice cream is among humanity's best inventions.)

I laughed inside my head. (Definitely among our best foods.)

(No wonder Ax went crazy when we was pretending to be Jake. With eating almost every piece of food in the house. They only eat grass in their natural bodies,) Liliss thought.

(Well, yeah, but according to Midget, he'd eaten food before. And he was trying to be Jake in a house with a known Controller.) I gave her a mental eye roll. (Chicken and pie are great, but we could have gotten really suspicious, you know?)

She smiled, nodding back at me.

My family lingered around the kitchen for a little while after we'd finished our ice cream. Mom was the last to finish, even though her cone was the same size as the rest of us. I'd noticed that the girls around my school also tended to eat slower, so who knows. Anyway, we talked about regular stuff-Mom's new book contract, Dad's interactions with patients, mostly-until Jake and I were trying not to yawn too much. Not because it was boring, but the last two days had been really long-emotionally and physically-and I thought that we were both ready to go to bed, even if it was kind of early.

I spoke up first. "Think I'm going to hit the sack. I'm exhausted, what from helping Midget cleaning the garage and all."

I gave him a light punch on the arm. Not enough to hurt him, more like a step above a nudge.

Jake rolled his eyes at me. "Like I didn't thank you ten times already for helping me."

"Yeah, yeah. I know," I allowed. "Night, Mom, Dad."

Jake yawned, too. "Think I'm going to go to bed, too."

Neither of our parents looked suspicious. Not that they had anything to be suspicious of. Just one kid who was living with an alien in his head, and the other one fighting them. Totally normal.

Mom gave us hugs, and Dad tousled Jake's hair. He would have tousled mine, too, but I was taller than Midget, and could back out of the way in time.

"Sweet dreams, kids," answered Dad.

We headed up the stairs. Once in the hallway, I asked, "Your room, or mine?"

Jake hesitated, and for a minute, I wondered if he was going to tell me that I didn't need to stay with him. That he was fine on his own. I wouldn't push him if he said that, of course, but I didn't want Jake to feel like he had to...well, to pretend to be tough with me, as though it proved something.

"Mine," he answered. "If you're sure?"

I put an arm around Jake's shoulder. "Yes, Midget, I'm sure. Now, you want the bathroom first, or should I take it?"

"I'll take it," Jake answered. "You always stink it up."

"For your information," I replied, mock offended, "I just need to brush my teeth. Besides, you're no rose. And, you have no aim."

"That's not true!" Jake protested, in mock outrage.

"Yeah? Ask Mom. She'll vouch for me."

Jake glared at me, then crossed his arms. "Yeah right."

I caught him in a headlock before he knew what had hit him, and had my hand on the top of his head, but not hurting him. "Say what?"

"I take it back!" he practically squealed.

I let him go.

"You know," Jake considered, "if Mom and Dad weren't downstairs, I could totally have morphed. You wouldn't be able to give a Siberian tiger a noogie."

"Probably not," I agreed. "Good thing they're home."

Jake rolled his eyes at me. "See you in a few minutes?"

I nodded, then put an arm around his shoulder again. "I'll knock on your door when I'm ready."

The look of relief on his face told me that he was glad I'd be there. That I was there.

Once my teeth were all brushed and I'd changed into my PJ equivalent, I gently knocked on Jake's door.


	12. Chapter 12

"Come in!"

Smiling, I opened the door, walked inside. As I turned around, I paused, then glanced over at Jake. "Hey, Midget? You want it open or closed?"

"Closed. Um, you can keep it unlocked," Jake answered, giving me a small smile.

I had a feeling I knew why he'd locked the door earlier.

Trying not to wince at the mental image this conjured, I nodded, then took a deep breath, before closing the door. I crossed over to my kid brother's bed. The memory of seeing him thrashing and hiding last night came back to me, and, as I forced myself not to wince, I wondered if there was even a way to prevent these nightmares. Probably not. Well, not if he was really stressed. He wasn't now-I hoped.

I sat down next to Jake, and, looking a little sheepish, he put a comic book facedown over on his bedside table. A superhero comic, from the back of it, but I wasn't sure if it was Batman or Superman or some other mutant superhero. Take away my guy card, but I'd never been much into that whole genre. Well, the movies were okay, but I'd never been big on reading the comics. Jake, on the other hand, used to be so obsessed that he'd dressed up as one or the other for no less than four Halloweens.

Seeing me glance at his reading material, Jake shrugged, then forced a laugh. "I know, I'm kind of old for them."

"Oh, please." I grinned. "You're fighting to save the world. And you worked like crazy this weekend. You're allowed some easy reading." I pulled the covers on "my" side of the bed over my shoulders. "Anyway, once this war is over, there will be comic books about you guys. You'll be Catman."

Jake, who'd been edging himself a couple of inches closer to me, now groaned. "Catman, really, Tom? Why not Tigerman?"

"You'll have to talk to the publishers about that." I grinned again, inching myself closer to him. "If I have any say in it, you'll be Kittyman."

"Don't you dare!" Jake gave me a mock glare.

I wrapped my arms around Jake, pulling him into a long hug. "Okay, okay. Catman it is."

Jake nestled himself against me, then let out a contented sigh. "You know," he mused, not quite managing to hide a yawn, "Marco and I have an ongoing debate over whether Batman or Superman is better."

"Uh huh. Who's winning?" I asked, chuckling, leaning against the pillow.

I didn't ask him what side he was on. Jake would have sighed and complained that he'd only told me a billion times.

Jake shrugged as he leaned back. "Depends who you ask."

I snickered, giving him another squeeze. "Right." After a pause, I asked, "Hey, Midget? You want to talk about anything else?"

He turned his head towards me, looking confused. "Like what?"

"Anything you want. Whatever's on your mind," I clarified. Gently, I added, "I know it's been a pretty crazy weekend."

Jake smiled at me, nearly grinning. "Not in a bad way, Tom. You're...you're back."

His voice cracked at the last part.

"Yeah," I agreed, with a smile of my own. "I'm back. And, look, Midget, I want to be here for you throughout all of this, okay? You can talk to me about anything. Anything."

Jake yawned. "Sorry."

"I'm not that boring!" I teased, giving him another squeeze.

"No way!" he agreed, laughing a little. "I guess I'm just tired."

"Got it. No major heart to hearts tonight," I agreed, with another nudge. "I'll let you sleep. Unless," I added, "If you want, I could rub your back for a little? Until you fall asleep?"

I half expected Jake to object, but he just looked up at me, clearly surprised. "Really?"

I placed my hands on the top of his shoulders, starting to make small circles. "Yeah. If you want. It might help you sleep better. No nightmares, and all that."

"Yeah. I guess it might help," Jake answered, still sounding a little tentative.

I let go of his shoulders. "So...you want to lay down on your stomach, or sit up?"

"Um...I think I'll lay on my stomach," he decided.

I nodded. "Okay."

After Jake rolled himself over, I moved the blankets out of our way and repositioned myself so that I was sitting next to him, without being at a weird angle that might give me a backache. I wondered if I should suggest Jake take his shirt off-I imagined a back massage would feel a lot better without the layer of clothes in between-but decided against it. I placed my hands above his shoulders, starting at his neck, and began with small circles along the outside, then moving in towards the middle.

A minute after starting, Jake let out a deep breath, followed by a long sigh.

"Jake? You doing okay?" I asked, softly.

"Yeah," he murmured.

"If I'm hurting you or you're uncomfortable, let me know," I pressed.

"It feels really good," Jake replied in a whisper.

"Okay, well, you know..."

"Okay," he repeated.

To be completely honest, I wasn't an expert on giving back rubs. Only a little more knowledgable with receiving them. Mom used to, when Jake and I were sick as kids, or really, really upset about something. That had been ages and ages ago. Kind of a shame, because, based on what Midget had gone through, he was probably due at least a hundred.

Not that she'd know. Or that we could tell her. It was just way too risky.

Even though Jake was the one receiving the relaxing treatment-judging by my kid brother's breathing become slower, more steady, as the minutes passed-it was also kind of therapeutic for me. Not just because I knew I was helping Jake relax, but also because the motions were repetitive. Soothing. I'd long since moved from Midget's neck to his shoulders, and then to the middle of his back, but as he seemed to enjoy his shoulders the best, I spent the most time there. After awhile, Jake's breathing became almost completely even, and the small sounds of contentment were no more. Was he asleep? Probably. Since my hands were starting to go a little numb, I figured it was bedtime (for real) for both of us.

I lay back down on the bed, taking care to wrap the blankets around us, and then maneuvered my arms around Jake, easing him into a hug.

(Imagine what would happen if you went a whole night without hugging,) Liliss teased me, with a laugh.

(The world would end. Obviously,) I retorted with a mental grin.

(Naturally,) she laughed.

"Comfortable?" I asked, softly, tucking the blankets around us. "Warm enough?"

"Yeah." He turned his face towards me, a contented smile on his lips. After a few seconds, Midget added, "Tom? Thank you."

I pulled him even closer, into a bear hug, eliciting a contented sigh from my kid brother.

"You're welcome," I answered, softly. "Love you, Midget."

"You too," was his response, as his head slumped against my shoulder.

I pulled Jake even closer. Not tight enough to restrict his breathing or anything-I hoped-just to give him the extra comfort and let him know that I was there if he needed anything.

But, just to be sure...

"Midget? Wake me up if you have any bad dreams, okay?" I mumbled, now letting my head rest against the pillow.

"Mmmkay," he whispered, or, at least, I thought he did.

That night, though, we both slept soundly. Peacefully.

I woke up before Jake, and about twenty minutes before our alarm would go off, so I figured I'd just relax until it was time for us to get up. My arms, I noticed, were still wrapped around his small, too skinny, frame. I released one to brush some hair out of his eyes before resuming my hug. Jake hardly stirred.

(Good morning, honey,) came Liliss' gentle voice.

(Hey, Liliss,) I answered, giving her a mental grin. (No nightmares, I guess.)

(No nightmares,) she answered, softly. (No dreams...well, nothing very substantial that I could make out. You slept very well, Tom.)

While this wasn't exactly an unusual occurrence, it wasn't something I took for granted. Too often, I dreamt of Temrash.

Like my control issues, though, those nightmares were starting to fade away. When I went as much as a month without dreaming about him directly-not that I didn't have other nightmares-I could hope that I might stop dreaming about him completely.

Someday.

Healing, as Liliss often reminded me, took time.

As though in response to this, I felt her nudge me, wordlessly asking if I wanted a mental hug, and I gave her a mental nod. As I felt my mind relax and fill with warmth, I was still aware that Jake had begun to stir in his sleep. After a few minutes, his eyes opened. His face registered some confusion, but not fear. Or, at least, not panic.

"Hey, Midget," I greeted, keeping my voice gentle.

He turned over on his side and looked at me, giving me a slow smile. "Hey, Tom."

I removed one arm from around his stomach and brushed back some hair from his face. "How'd you sleep?"

He blinked, then grinned. "Actually, really good."

"You say that like it's a surprise," I observed.

He kind of shrugged his shoulders, as he started to sit up. I did the same, remembering to turn off the alarm before it would go off and nearly give us heart attacks.

Well, maybe just me. Jake's alarm was loud.

"Anything you want to talk about?" I asked, gently.

Jake hesitated, then nodded, leaning in closer to me. I placed an arm around him, and he curled his skinny frame against me.

"I don't get nightmares all the time," he began, and at my nod, he added, slowly, "but there are definitely nights when it's hard to sleep. I worried a lot. I mean, I still do, but with you and her..." Jake paused, took a deep breath, then continued. "I mean, now, I know that she's not hurting you." Jake inhaled, then exhaled. "That helps."

I nodded, hoping that Jake could see that I understood. "This whole thing, it's tough. Hell, Midget, I still have dreams about Temrash," I admitted. "Even though it's been eight months. The only way I don't wake up screaming is that Liliss...she helps me through them, right after I wake up. Usually in a total panic."

Jake nodded, again, but the look on his face told me that he didn't dream about Temrash. Not regularly, anyway.

"It's...I-I have this tiger dream," Jake began, not looking directly at me, and then clamming up.

"Hey." I pulled Jake even closer, giving him a bear hug, which he returned. After he let go, I added, gently, "Look, Midget. You don't need to tell me, if you don't want to. Not right away. I mean," I added, "I want to know, if you want to tell me, but don't feel like you have to. We have time, you know? Doesn't have to be everything at once."

"I think I need a little more time," Jake decided. "I mean...it's still a lot, you know? To take in?"

"Sure. I get it." Then, playfully, I gave Jake a little nudge. "But, look, the one thing that can't wait? The dinosaurs. I really, really want to hear all about those dinosaurs."

Jake managed a laugh. "I can handle that."

"Tell me everything," I demanded, playfully.

"Like, right now?" Jake glanced at the clock. "We have to get ready for school soon."

I gave him a light nudge, even though I knew he was probably right. "You're no fun. Okay, for now, just answer this: since you've been there, what's the official verdict? Who would win in a fight, us, or those oversized lizards?"

Jake made a face. "Dinosaurs. Not even close."

(You're such boys,) Liliss laughed, affectionately.

(Oh, please. If one of your poolmates told you they'd gone back in time and encountered some massive prehistoric creature on your home planet, you'd want to know more,) I retorted.

(We didn't have any massive prehistoric creatures before us,) Liliss laughed.

(Right. That you know of. Who knows, maybe you also had dinosaurs. Gedd senses aren't that great, and bones can get buried really deep in the planet,) I pointed out.

Unable to refute this, Liliss contented herself with sending me a mental eye role.

(Real mature,) I teased.

(I learn from the best,) she responded, overly primly.

I sent her an image of a Yeerk in a poofy pink dress, which caused her to burst into peels of laughter.

Realizing that Jake was waiting for me to respond, I pointed to my head, and then laughed. "Well, sure, against ancient men. But today? I dunno, Midget. We've got all kinds of nuclear weapons, not to mention good old regular guns. I figure we could take them out," I teased. "Hey, you were there for awhile, right? What did you eat?" An idea dawned on me. "What did you do for food? Hey, did you actually eat any of them?"

"We were there about a week, so yeah, we ate dinosaurs. Uh, I guess it kind of tasted like a mix of fish and chicken?" Jake shrugged. "That's what I'd say, anyway. It wasn't great, wasn't bad. I sure don't crave dinosaur meat."

I snickered. "I wonder if alligators or something would be the closest thing to that," I mused. Glancing at the clock, I stood up. "C'mon, or we'll be late. Hey, if you want, I can drive you."

"Sure!" Jake agreed, also standing up.

"Maybe after school, we can shoot some hoops?" I offered. "And I can help you with your homework. I mean, if you need any."

"Probably can't hurt to review for math," Jake agreed, making a face.

I started to leave the room. "Yeah, if he's going to be a jerk and give you guys pop quizzes every week. So much for teachers being overworked, huh?"

"Well, all math teachers are sadists," Jake joked.

"Obviously." I smiled. "See you downstairs."

I let Liliss take over then, until we drove Jake to school. Partly because I wanted to be in full control for that, and also because my driving skills needed some work. Driving and basketball were the two things that had really suffered under my time with Temrash. I figured it was because I had only recently gotten my license after being infested.

School went by pretty quickly. Liliss had control for most of that, as usual, and while I listened to some of my teachers, I also got in a good nap. After all, I'd need my energy if I was going to play basketball later.

Besides, Liliss was a better teacher than any of the ones I had.

Not wanting to make Jake take the bus or walk home, we parked right by his school as soon as classes ended. Once I saw him leave with Marco, I gave him a wave.

"Hey, midgets! You want a ride?" I asked.

"Midgets?" Marco shot back. "Ouch, Tom. I'm crushed."

"I'm taller than you, you know," Jake pointed out.

"Barely!" Marco insisted.

(More than barely,) I remarked.

Liliss giggled as she sent me a mental nod.

"If Jake's a midget, you're a shrimp," I teased, trying not to grin too much. "So, ride?"

Marco shook his head, looking mock hurt. Or mock offended. "Naw, dude. No thanks. Jake, he's your brother, so..."

Jake rolled his eyes at his best friend, then got in on the front side.

"He's not really mad, is he?" I asked, once the door was closed.

"Well, he's not crazy about being called a midget or a shrimp," Jake laughed, "but Marco won't hold a grudge or anything."

"Next time, I'll call him Jake's Best Friend," I promised, and Jake groaned. "How was school?"

"Not too bad. You?"

I shrugged. "Could be worse."

Which was true.

Also, I only had another year after this. Well, I'd be going to college afterwards, probably, but that felt pretty far off.

As though reading my mind, Jake spoke up.

"You thought about what you're going to do? After you graduate?"

I shrugged. "I mean, I have to stay local. Maybe start at community college? I don't know."

"What about basketball?"

"I want to do that. Definitely. If I can get to where I was before..." I trailed off.

"I know you can," Jake told me, determined. "Besides, Tom, you're amazing. And you at 75% is still way better than most people at 100%."

Since it was a red light, I reached over and tousled his hair. "Thanks, Midget."

Jake gave me a pained look which became a grin. "It's true."

I grinned, and squeezed his hand. "Well, we need to keep practicing. Tryouts are pretty soon and all."

Jake nodded, letting the subject drop.

We were quiet until the next light. Jake was the one to break the silence.

"About earlier," he began.

"Yeah?" I asked. "Um, when, exactly?"

"Dreams," Jake explained, turning to face me. "My, uh, my tiger dream."

"Oh. Okay." I glanced over at him. "You want to talk about it?"

He nodded. "It's one that I've had for awhile. Since you were still infested with Temrash," Jake started to explain. His voice became a little shaky, and I sort of turned toward him, reaching out to him. He grabbed my hand, hard. "My battle morph's a Siberian tiger...and, well, in the dream, I'm the tiger and you're my prey. I'm stalking you. Trying to...you know. Then, just as I'm about to pounce, the dream changes. You're the tiger, and I'm me. You're trying to kill me." Jake swallowed, hard. "The first night, I dreamed that."

I took a deep breath, then slowly let it out. A car honked, and I drove. Fortunately, we were almost at our house.

"I'm sorry, Midget. That stinks. This whole thing...I can't imagine what it was like for you," I told him, meaning it.

Jake nodded, but then shrugged. He swallowed, again. "Thing is, I know that being a Controller is worse. You're totally powerless. Helpless. I'm sorry, Tom."

I shook my head. "You made the right call. More than you even knew. Midget, having the fate of the planet on your shoulders...I don't know." I turned the car off, realizing it was still on, but in the park mode. I let out a deep breath. "Look, I'm here for you, Jake. I know, I know, I keep saying that. But, I mean it. Any time you want to talk, any time, I am here. And, maybe last night was a fluke, but if you want us to stay together on a regular basis, I am more than okay with it. If not, if you want your space, that's okay, too." I took a deep breath. "What I mean is, look, I just...I want to help you, okay?"

Jake nodded, his eyes filling up with tears. I reached over and hugged him tightly.

Not that it was very comfortable for either of us. I think we both banged our heads on the top of the car, once we let go. Still. I hoped that it helped.

"I'd like that. Maybe not every night forever, but at least for now," Jake decided. After a few seconds, he added, "Tom, even if we do this, I might still get a nightmare and wake you up."

Well, true. But, I had a feeling he'd have fewer nightmares if I was sleeping next to him.

Not that I wanted to say this, for fear of putting pressure on Jake.

(No, and there's no need to say anything like that to him,) Liliss reassured me. (I imagine you're right. He'll have fewer nightmares if you're next to him. He'll feel safer.)

(Yeah, you're right,) I agreed.

"I figure...it would better for everyone if you wake me up from a nightmare when I'm right next to you than in another room," I reasoned. "I can help you quicker that way."

Another nod. "Yeah. Okay. If you don't mind."

"Never," I promised, pulling Jake into another hug.

This time, we barely managed not to bang our heads on the top of the car when we let go.

I grinned at Jake. "So. You up for shooting some hoops?"

"Can we get something to eat from the kitchen first?" Jake asked, nudging me. "I'm starving!"

I laughed, then put an arm around his shoulder. "Yeah. Me too."

Afterwards, we played basketball for over an hour. I had progressed to at least 80% of where I'd been before-Liliss claimed I was over 90%, but I was less sure about that-and I wasn't at all tired when we headed inside.

Not mentally, anyway.

Yeah. Things were looking up.

Afterwards, we started homework, and then had a regular old family dinner. Complete with my favorite cheesecake for dessert. Even though everyone had second helpings, there was still enough left over for tomorrow.

Assuming Dad and Jake didn't finish it off before I got to it.

Jake and I finished up our homework, with him occasionally asking me for help. Between me and Liliss, we were able to steer him in the right direction. After a half an hour of TV with my parents. Dad sat on one side of me, and Jake on the other. A little tentatively, I wrapped an arm around him. Jake immediately relaxed himself against me, turning to give me a smile. Grinning, I tousled his hair. After a few minutes, he yawned, then rested his head against my shoulder. I put another arm around Jake, and he let out a deep breath.

"Midget's still exhausted from the hard labor you guys put him through," I observed as I turned to Dad.

"I am not!" Jake protested, clearly affronted, as he turned away from me.

"Just teasing." I gave him a nudge. "C'mon. I don't mind being a pillow."

Jake rolled his eyes but accepted my hug. Dad chuckled.

"Good to see you two getting along again," he answered, grinning at us.

There was a slight pause. Jake and I hadn't exactly talked about what to say if Mom and Dad noticed we'd suddenly become friends again.

Jake spoke first. "Yeah, see, Tom's finally realized I am never joining The Sharing." He shrugged. "He's agreed to quit nagging me about it."

I had to give Jake credit for his quick excuse. It was true, but that conversation had occurred months ago.

Had it been on his mind this entire time?

"Yeah, yeah," I half grumbled, like this was some major concession.

Jake grinned up at me, and I gave his hair another tousle.

We stayed up watching TV for at least an hour after our parents had gone to bed. I wasn't entirely sure that Jake was still awake, but if he'd fallen asleep, I'd wait as long as possible before waking him up.

When he started snoring, though, I figured it was time for both of us to head to bed.

"Midget?" I nudged him with my free hand.

Jake opened his eyes, clearly confused. "Huh? Time for school?"

"Time for bed," I explained, with a laugh. "C'mon. You want to do your room or mine?"

Jake shrugged, and forced himself to his feet, yawning. "You'll stay with me?" he asked, suddenly, as though I hadn't just told him I would.

"You bet," I promised. "Hey, you can brush your teeth first, all right?"

Another yawn, then a nod as we started the assent up the stairs. "Okay."

(If he doesn't fall asleep on the way up,) I noted to Liliss, just a little concern in my voice.

With that, I put an arm around Jake's shoulder, just in case he was about to stumble.

We both managed to make it to my room without hurting ourselves. Jake had even changed into pajamas, and looked a little less tired than before.

Which was to say, he'd still probably be fast asleep within ten minutes. Tops.

"Which side of the bed do you want?" I asked.

"Near the wall? If you don't mind," Jake answered, yawning.

I nodded. "Sure."

He climbed into bed, and I followed, wrapping an arm around Jake before tucking the blankets around us. He gave a contented sigh, and then placed his head on top of my shoulders.

"Comfortable?" I asked, teasingly.

"Mmm hmm," he mumbled.

(You know, I think I'm destined to be a pillow,) I deadpanned to Liliss, which got a laugh.

(Your brother knows that you're a very comfortable pillow,) she teased.

(Yeah. Clearly,) I chuckled.

"Still?" I asked, hugging him with both arms.

"Definitely," he murmured, yawning.

"Good. Now, if you have any nightmares, wake me up, okay?" I asked, fixing my eyes on his. "You shouldn't have to go through that on your own. Not anymore, anyway," I amended.

Midget nodded again. "I will," Jake promised, with another yawn.

I let my head rest on top of his. "Okay. Good night, Midget."

"Night, Tom," he murmured, or, I thought he did.

I closed my eyes, then, and felt sleep overtake me.

That night, both of us slept without any nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go! With a possible one-shot from Jake's POV. Let me know if you want to see this...


	13. Chapter 13

On Friday, I came home from an unusually long Sharing meeting, plus a trip to the Yeerk Pool afterwards. Liliss and I were both glad to be done with the Yeerk empire part of my life for the next day and a half. Jake was sitting at the kitchen table, homework sprawled out. I gave him a squeeze on the shoulder and tousled his hair before heading to the kitchen and heating up the dinner Mom had left me, since she knew I usually arrived late on Friday.

Jake looked up from his work, smiled at me, but immediately returned to whatever subject he was working on.

"Need any help?" I asked, after swallowing a mouthful of peas.

He shook his head. "Not yet," he amended. "You going to be down here for awhile?"

I glanced at my bag, knowing I had a lot of work to do that weekend, but in no mood to do anything except relax this evening. "Might watch some TV once I finish this. If you don't mind? I'll keep the volume low."

"That's cool."

He returned to his work, and I returned to my healthy meal. After finishing and rinsing off the dishes, I stretched out on the couch to zone out in front of the TV for another hour or so. I heard Jake pack up his books and walk towards the living room.

"Hey." I gestured towards the TV, turning my gaze towards him. "You want to watch? I can change the channel, if you want."

Jake just shook his head. "I'm pretty tired. Think I'll go to bed."

A yawn escaped me, to the amusement of Liliss. "That's not a bad idea."

Jake waited as I turned off the TV, removed myself from the couch, and then we headed upstairs.

He didn't say anything during this time, which wasn't exactly strange, but it also wasn't your typical Jake.

"Your room?" I clarified, since that's where we'd been sleeping all week.

"Yeah," he nodded. "You can use the bathroom first."

"Cool."

Several minutes later, dressed in PJs (Jake) and a pair of shorts and an oversized T-shirt (me), we headed into bed. Jake pulled away the covers and got himself settled in, but sat, rather than lay down immediately. He also sort of studied me.

"Midget? You okay?"

I wondered, briefly, if he wanted to check to make sure Liliss was still my Yeerk. He'd done that the last time she fed and, of course, we'd agreed.

Jake sat up a little straighter, looking downright uneasy. Even scared.

"C-can we talk? Just us?" he asked me.

(Liliss? You mind?)

(Not at all,) she reassured me.

"Yeah, sure," I answered, reaching for "her" glass of water on the bedside table.

Less than a minute later, Liliss came out of my ear, and I briefly examined my very stretched out Yeerk in my hand before placing her in the water glass we'd assigned solely for her use. Jake stared at her, then at me.

I placed an arm around his shoulder. "What's up?"

"I called a meeting earlier," Jake explained, looking guilty.

Or, at least, uncomfortable.

I wasn't sure why. Wasn't this almost a given, given my change in status from "involuntary Controller" to "willing host of a Peace Movement Yeerk"? Of course, he would want to check in with his friends.

Fellow soldiers.

Still hard to think of my kid brother, my cousin, and their friends like that.

I nodded. "Makes sense. You wanted to see how everyone felt about having a Controller as an ally?"

Jake looked up at me, clearly surprised.

"And to figure out what it would be like with you being that Controller ally," he added, clearly sheepish. "Um, I believe you and Liliss. It's just kind of..."

Oh.

Ohhh.

"Not what you expected?" I asked, gently. Then, on impulse, I added, "Maybe even, kind of a disappointment?"

"I guess." Jake gave a slight nod, and while his face wasn't angry, it was...well, I had a feeling it looked this way right before they all went battle morph to kick Yeerk butt. He took a deep breath. "All this time, I fought to free you, Tom. From..."

He trailed off, watching me.

I nodded, because I understood. "I get it. Me being a host to a Peace Movement Yeerk doesn't totally square with that dream, huh?" I offered, gently, reaching out, giving Jake a hug.

He hugged me tightly, but I couldn't miss his sigh. "Yeah."

"It's not exactly what I expected either, Jake," I admitted, still clinging to him. "Of course, by the time she came along, I thought the only freedom would be in death."

"I know."

Jake let go, and we leaned against the pillows.

Right. Temrash had shown him this.

Of course, the slug had shown him that.

"I don't know if he told you, Midget, but, uh, I tried to kill myself. More than once," I confessed. Pushing ahead, I added, "Even when I got Liliss, it took months before I stopped wanting to die."

Jake frowned, then blinked. "Why?"

"Because I didn't trust her for a really long time. Not really. I was sure it was an elaborate torture scheme," I explained. "Get my hopes up, maybe even get me comfortable with using my body again, and then BAM. Evil Yeerk takes over."

He gave a small nod. "What changed?" he murmured.

I pulled Jake into my arms, then began to rub his shoulders. He let out a deep, almost shuddering, breath.

"Time helped. I could see that she wasn't hurting me, or threatening to. That I could better control my body, and...Besides, she was never even a little unkind to me. I mean, she never even raised her voice! Sure, I guess, the big thing was Aftran, but it was so many little things. Her constant encouragement. Her mental hugs." I punctuated this with a bear hug, which got a laugh from Jake. I let go after a minute, then resumed the massage. Jake let out another deep breath, and I continued to explain as I worked out the tension from his shoulders. "I fought her for control, once. In front of all of you. She actually reassured me that you were safe. Didn't punish me, or threaten to." I moved my hands down, slowly, to just beneath his shoulder-blades. "I guess I realized, finally, that she wasn't going to hurt me. That, as much as I could be, I was safe. With her."

Jake nodded, then turned to me, causing my hands to drop. "I do trust you, Tom. I know that if you trust Liliss..."

I smoothed some hair out of his face. "I get it's going to take you some time to adjust. Hell, Midget, it took me months. Just, talk to me, okay? Don't feel like you need to hide anything," he added, giving his shoulders a squeeze. "Hey!" I added, mock frustrated, "You know you need to stay still for more than five seconds!"

Jake grinned. "Okay, okay. Sorry." He turned away from me, and I began to rub his back again.

We sat like that for a few minutes before Jake spoke up again.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" I frowned, even though he couldn't see me.

"For not telling you about the meeting before," he answered, turning around.

I rolled my eyes. "You told me now. Anyway, like I said, you didn't do anything wrong, Jake. I don't expect you to report to me whenever you have meetings, or whatever you talk about. You can, sure, but you don't have to."

Jake nodded, and I turned him around. He took a long, deep breath. "I guess you should put her back."

"Okay, but you're getting at least another half an hour of a back rub," I retorted. "Or, whenever you or my hands fall asleep. Whichever comes first."

His back moved a little as he laughed. "I'd say that you were babying me, but this feels really good."

It was my turn to chuckle. "This isn't babying, Midget. I'm taking care of you. Being a big brother. We kind of lost a lot of time with that."

Jake nodded. "Yeah," he murmured. "I know."

"So," I continued, "we're going to have to work overtime to make up for it."

Jake let his head fall down. "I can deal with that."

Keeping one hand working on Jake's shoulders (he was still pretty tense), I removed Liliss from the water, placing her to my ear, and as soon as I felt the painkiller, moved my hand back to Jake's back.

"Midget?" I gently worked on a knot just below his upper back. "Just because she's there doesn't mean we can't talk, okay?

He nodded slightly. "Okay."

I felt the familiar pressure as Liliss made the connections to my brain. No loss of control, thankfully.

"Does it still hurt? When she infests you?" Midget wanted to know.

"Kinda. It stings for a second before the painkiller sets in," I explained, soothingly, as I moved my hands in small circles along his shoulder-blades.

A minute later, he asked, "Do you think there's gonna be long term damage with your hearing? With her doing that every three days?"

"Probably not?" I guessed. "No one really knows for sure. The people who have been Controllers for the longest haven't had any problems, yet, so it could be that the painkiller the Yeerk releases when they infest us has the dual purpose of fixing any damage they do to the ear. Which would make sense on an evolutionary level, since hosts have to hear. Personally, I don't think there's been any negative change in my hearing." I shrugged. "We'll have to wait and see."

"If a lot of people started to go deaf all at once, it would be really suspicious," Jake remarked. "Especially if it was just in one ear."

"Yeah, and it would be really hard to kill that number of people without real problems emerging." I made a face which Jake couldn't see. "Honestly, Midget, I don't think that people going deaf would be what does the Yeerk empire in. Oh...she's connected, but it's still me."

"Okay."

Jake went quiet for awhile, minus some sighs and more deep breaths. Then, his breathing became lighter, even. My hands were starting to fall asleep. I pulled him into a hug, then eased my kid brother into a lying down position on the bed.

"Ready for bed?" I asked, probably unnecessarily.

"Yeah, I think so," he mumbled

"I'll tuck you in," I offered, pulling the covers over us. "Keep out the monsters.

"Tom. I'm not a baby," he half grumbled.

"I know that. But you are a midget, and they prey on those," I laughed. "Now, let me tuck you in, before the midget bed bugs eat you."

Keeping Jack in a tight hug, I moved the blankets around us, tucking us in. Okay, maybe I was hugging Jake a little too tightly, because after a few seconds, he protested that he couldn't breathe. Of course, I loosened my grip so that my arms weren't crushing his ribs.

"Thanks. That's better," he mumbled, resting his head against my shoulders.

"I don't know my own strength," I laughed. "Sorry."

"You do lift weights," Jake pointed out, with a yawn.

"Yeah. I could definitely lift you," I smiled, tousling his hair.

Another yawn. "Probably. Marco, definitely."

"Oh, for sure Marco the shrimp!" I chuckled, running a hand over his hair before resuming a bear (but not rib crushing) hug.

"Night, Tom," he yawned.

"Sweet dreams, Midget."

"You too," he managed through another yawn.

That night, Jake had another nightmare. I woke up abruptly to hear yelling, and felt him thrashing under the covers.

"Midget?" I turned on the light, then reached over and pulled him into my arms. "Hey. It's okay," I soothed, holding him against me. "Bad dream, huh?"

Jake blinked, his face confused and then relaxing as he remembered why his brother was holding him.

"Ants," he murmured, shuddering.

I frowned slightly. "The bug?"

"Yeah." Another shudder, and then Jake turned to face me. "We morphed them early on. Not since. It was...awful."

I tried to recall what, if anything, Jake had to me about morphing ants, but my mind drew a blank. Liliss' confusion was evident, so I hadn't forgotten.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" I asked, softly.

"In the dream or in real life?" Jake asked, turning just enough to look at me.

I shrugged. "Whatever you want."

The short version to the real life event was first losing your entire identity (I made a mental note never to feel guilty for killing ants in the future) and then getting torn apart when they encountered ants from an opposing colony.

The dream version involved Yeerks becoming giant ants and trying to hack Jake and his friends to bits. Because it was a dream, they couldn't morph.

"It might have been almost funny if we hadn't been ants before," Jake concluded, managing a small smile, undoubtedly relieved that it was just a dream.

"Oh sure, really funny," I replied with an eye roll.

I hugged him tighter, and Jake let out a small sigh. Letting go, at least of the hug, I wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"Feeling better?"

He nodded, his eyes focusing on mine. "It's just...well, you know that these dreams aren't going away anytime soon. Especially since we're still fighting," Jake pointed out, almost tentatively, looking down at the bed, and then up at me.

I frowned a little, not entirely sure what my brother was getting at. "I know, it's got to be rough."

"And," Jake continued, "I mean, if I wake you up every time I have one..."

"You mean you want me to stop sleeping next to you?" I asked, carefully.

I couldn't see this doing any good, for either of us, but I wasn't going to force Jake to sleep next to me after all. Not if he felt weird about it.

Jake didn't look up from the covers. "I mean...what do you want, Tom?"

I pulled him into another bear hug, resulting in a laugh and, then, a murmur of contentment.

After we let go, I placed my arms on his shoulders so he was looking me in the eyes. "What I've wanted since I heard you were roped into this war. To help you through this. To be there for you, Midget."

"You sure?" Jake pressed.

"Positive." I ran a hand through his year. "Even if you have cold feet and snore!" I added, teasingly.

"That's not true!" Jake protested, looking positively affronted.

"Yeah, it is," I replied, matter of factly.

He glared at me, then stopped as I turned him around, placed my hands on his shoulders, and began kneading.

Jake sighed, again, but it was a contented one. "That's really not fair," he half grumbled, half laughed.

"Oh, it's totally fair, Midget," I replied, grinning, still kneading.

He went quiet for a minute.

"Maybe," he finally relented.

Neither of us spoke for awhile. Jake's body slowly slumped forward until he practically falling onto the covers.

I gently tucked us back into bed.

"Sweet dreams," I whispered, wrapping him into a secure hug.

"You too," he mumbled.

I watched as Jake's breathing slowed down, not wanting to be the first to fall back asleep. Sure, like he'd told me before, he rarely had more than one bad dream in the same night.

Still.

(You're being very paternal,) Liliss reflected. (Very caring.)

(Yeah, well, I've always been Jake's big brother. Watching out for him,) I pointed out.

(Yes,) Liliss allowed, (but it's more than that, now.)

I frowned. (How so?)

(He's fighting in a war, a secret war, and unlike most soldiers, he can't exactly write home to tell his family what he's facing. Your parents are there, as in physically present, but the risk of them someday becoming infested, however remote, negates any benefit of confiding in them,) Liliss explained. (You already know this, of course, or you would have suggested telling them.)

(Obviously. It's not a risk we can take. Even if they're not in danger now, if the war becomes an open one or the Yeerks decide to target my parents-) I began, anger rising.

(I know, I know,) Liliss soothed, slowing down my heart rate.

(Thanks. Sorry. I didn't mean to accuse you,) I apologized.

(I know,) she repeated, gently. (Would you like a mental hug?)

(Not right now. Explain to me how this fits in with me taking on a-what'd you call it? A paternal role?) I pressed.

(He looks up to you, honey, and you are taking on the rather enormous task of taking care of him. Oh,) she added, quickly, (you're past the point where he needs his diapers changed-)

(Thank God,) I interjected.

She smiled. (But you're still taking on the role that would belong to your parents, if they knew.)

(I'm kind of a surrogate dad?) I asked, frowning.

(More of a big brother/father combination,) Liliss offered.

I could see this. After all, I had been giving Jake a lot more hugs over the past week than I would have in the span of a month before the war. Part of it was to make up for lost time, but I knew that they were helping him.

Me, as well.

On the other hand...

(I'm not going to start grounding him if he gets bad grades, or check to make sure he does his homework,) I said, firmly.

(No, and you shouldn't. That would not help the brother part of your relationship,) Liliss answered, reassuringly.

(Okay, good. So, I just get to do the good stuff? Hugs, talking, maybe helping him plan out...what do they call them? Missions?) I tried to remember.

(Yes, missions.) Liliss smiled at me. (Your role might eventually extend to the others. Particularly Rachel.)

Rachel had a lot on her plate as well, with being the oldest of three, and helping out her mom. Their parents had got divorced awhile back. Jake had told me that her dad even offered her to come live with him, but she'd said no.

That had to be rough. At least, even if Mom and Dad couldn't know, they were together. They even went out on dates, which was as weird as it was cute. I mean, they were almost forty, which was old.

(Ancient,) my Yeerk teased, reading my thoughts.

(Yeah, yeah. To us, that's ancient,) I grinned.

Liliss laughed, and I could hear Midget snoring next to me.

(I guess I can handle being a temporary dad,) I decided.

(You certainly can,) Liliss answered, gently.

(Guess it's safe to go to sleep,) I mumbled, yawning.

(Sweet dreams, Tom.)

(Good night,) I answered, pulling Jake closer to me. (I'm ready for the mental hug, if the offer's still on the table.)

It was. I fell asleep to being held, safe and warm, by my Yeerk.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned before, I'm leaning towards making this a series, without covering all of the Animorphs books. In fact, I might skip some of the books I had previously written (31 comes to mind) in lieu of others. We'll have to see what happens! 
> 
> In the meantime, if you could take a minute and leave feedback, I would greatly appreciate it.

**Author's Note:**

> After I wrote "Cassie's Capture", I received comments asking me to turn it into a series. Readers wanted to see Tom and Liliss throughout the series, and how their symbiotic relationship might change how the series went. While I won't say I will never write a sequel to that story, it's unlikely to happen anytime soon.
> 
> That being said, having written/being in the process of writing numerous Free!Tom or Peace Movement!Tom fics, it seemed only natural to write a story involving Tom receiving a Peace Movement Yeerk immediately after Temrash was promoted. While this story takes place in a different universe as "Cassie's Capture", the character of Liliss 325 is the same. If you keep reading, you will see how this turns out in the chapters that follow.


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